A
female
age
36-40,
*abiddomfreak@yahoo.com
writes:I broke up with my boyfriend about a month and a half ago. (He cheated on me and lied about it. Needless to say - if I never saw him again, I wouldn't mind at all) Two or three weeks ago, while at the bar, I met another guy. He's a student at the school I go to - working towards his PhD in biology. We've been hanging out at least one night a week since we met and we get along really, really well. Whenever we hang out, there is obvious sexual chemistry, but our personalities seems to mesh well, too. We are completely comfortable around each other and became friends really quickly.Needless to say, I'm a bit smitten (or as he likes to call it, "twitterpated") with him. He seems to be the complete opposite of most of the guys I've been into lately, which is a definite plus. However, he recently got out of a four year relationship (about six months ago she cheated on him and they broke up) and isn't sure if he can make an actual commitment to someone, which I completely understand. And, I'm leaving at the end of the summer to go to grad school (the closest one would be six hours away from him) which makes both of us a little nervous about starting a relationship.We haven't slept together yet because he wants to show me that there's more to me than just sex (which is almost completely unheard of from the men in my life) and that he doesn't want me to be the girl who comes over and has sex with him. He says that'd be too easy and he thinks a lot higher of me than that. He's told me he could see himself falling for me and that I'm the first girl he's met since he broke up with the ex that he could see himself dating.So, we don't have sex. But we're really attracted to each other (it's completely obvious to EVERYONE). He wants to stay friends so it hurts less when I leave but we both are starting to care and fall for each other. There's something about him that I can't explain but feels so right being with him. We've only known each other for a few weeks - it's been really intense. And there's a bit of an age difference. I'm 21 and he's 26. My question is - even though he says we should just stay friends, he's throwing me confusing signals. Do I just stay trying to just be friends with him despite how I feel about him? He knows how I feel about him but now I'm not sure if I can go and just hang out with him and ignore my feelings. What should I do?
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female
reader, fishdish +, writes (28 November 2009):
 Honestly, I would risk the friendship, because, you're only going to be in the area for so long, so i mean, you may never see each other again, as friends, and i would not throw away these strong feelings you have for someone that could only come once. what if he's the one!! i regret not making more moves on my bf when I had the chance--now he's been in the marines for 5 years. I kick myself about it, even though we're together (long distance), it just seems like wasted time now.
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