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anonymous
writes: Hi I have a couple of question actually. First I am in my early thirties have been with this guy for seven years. He likes to look on the web at big busted naked women this makes me feel like I am not enough for him. Also I don't like to have sex much I am just not in the mood I do just because he wants to is there something wrong with me are my horomones out of wack!
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (11 January 2005):
 First of all, don't sweat the big boobs thing...Men like to look at women and they'll do it any chance they get; that's just a given, and not worth much concern. At least your guy is doing it at home, rather than trying to sneak pervy glances at sunbakers on the beach, or something. These days, with practically unlimited online access to porn and nudie pictures, some men don't know when to quit, but - here's the point - it's just looking. He not "in love" with the photos and there's really very little chance that he's comparing you unfavourably to 'Belle Boobies'. If he's typical he just sees boobs and thinks "oh yeah!" and that's as far as it goes. Don't let it affect your self-esteem, because even if it ruined your relationship, chances are, the next man would be the same! Just have a good sense of humour about it and make sure that he gets out into the daylight now and then.With the mismatched sex drives, I think it's fairly common to a lot of relationships from time to time, but I don't think that it should be the standard or that you should put up with it for any longer than you have to. Think about why you're not in the mood and consider making changes from there. There can be a stack of reasons, given that the female libido is about as robust as fairy floss...Is the sex time-and-place getting stale? (Always at the same time of day, always the same position etc?) Is there something about your partner that's not aesthetically pleasing, like garlic breath or a need to shower? Are there other issues in your life that are distracting you, like kids, your job, family turmoil etc? Are there unresolved issues between the two of you?Only you are in a position to answer those questions, but I urge you to dig around and try to find the source of the problem, so you can work around it. If you explain to your guy that you're trying to work on ways that will keep you interested in sex, he's VERY likely to want to try to help you. If you're confident that it isn't something emotional affecting your sex drive, then it is possible that there's a health issue and it's worth seeing your GP about. Why not? Especially if the alternative is to spend the next 50 or 60 years being "not in the mood"!
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