| A ,
anonymous
writes: I started to see this guy I have been aquainted with for a year, it's been about a month since we've started seeing each other. The first night we hung out we stayed up till 10:30 am talking, fliting, and most of all laughing! anyway we liked each other a good amount. Nothing seemed to be progressing intamitly, so i took a chance stepped out of my comfort zone and made the first move! It led to one thing than the other but we didn't have sex (no protection) so, i asked him what his thoughts were and he thought that it was kinda soon, and maybe too quick to be doing what we did...I called two days later to apologize (again) and that I was still weirded out by what I did. He called back the next day left a message telling me to call him back, I did and no answer... And I haven't heard from him since. (He would call me every three days before this happend) and now its been a over a week since I've seen him! What is he doing? Did I scare him away? Does he think I'm to sluty or something? If he hasnt called by now does it mean its over? I'm going nuts! please help! Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (15 January 2005):
 Hi there,This isn't terribly complicated and you don't have to feel nuts: you asked him and he told you that he felt that things were moving too quickly for comfort. He might have been surprised and scared by the almost-sex and is probably concerned that if you get together again soon, it might happen for real. Your constant attempts to contact him are making him feel crowded and probably more nervous about things. So don't call.My suggestion is to explain to him that you're prepared to give him some space. Make one more call (or text, if that's more comfortable), or leave a message if you have to. Tell him that you understand that he was uncomfortable about what happened and that you are too because you've never done that before, but that you want to leave things open-ended because you really like him. Let him know that he can contact you any time and that you'll be glad to try to start over, fresh and with no pressure.Then the ball's in his court. You back off and you make good on your promise not to pressure him, which means you don't call him, you don't write him letters, and if you run into him on the street, you're friendly and happy, but nothing more. If you want him to want you, he has to be free to make that choice on his own. Try to be patient, and whatever else happens, consider this a learning experience.
|
