Telling him how much I love him isn't working, so what's the best way to get him back?
Q. Two months ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 3.5 years after an argument. We had been having lots of arguments and it wasn't our first time breaking up. Now, 2 months later, I feel like I made the biggest mistake of my life and I desperately want ...
A. 24 May 2015: Maybe, seeing as it wasn't the first time you broke up, he decided that it was one breakup too many.
Telling him you love him obviously isn't cutting it for him. It certainly wouldn't be enough for me.
If he wants to focus on his life now the... (read in full...)
I have gained weight and my health obsessive MIL is coming for a visit!
Q. My mother-in-law, let’s call her Mildred, is coming for a visit. My husband and she simply do not get along, sad fact. But, right now I need your advice on how to survive her obsession with physical beauty/looks/exercise/food, having in mind that I ...
A. 22 May 2015: Funny thing, I remember 40th as a fantastic year.
Regards your mother in law, if she mentions your weight or appearance ask her "does my fat offend you? I can book you a room at the motel if you would rather not be here"
Or when she starts ... (read in full...)
Do I unfriend her? Talk to my Bf? My Bf has been avoiding me for last few months. What should I do?
Q. hi.. i've added one of my classmates as my friend on facebook. she came to know who my boyfriend is from my relationship status on facebook. within a week since i'd added her on fb i'd noticed some changes in my boyfriend's attitude towards...
A. 19 May 2015: Is your relationship with your boyfriend mainly online, or do you get the chance together in real life.
If you are in a relationship with your boyfriend online, and rarely, or never, meet face to face it is time to ask him what his intentio... (read in full...)
I can't talk to him about how I feel I'm raising our daughters alone!
Q. Hello everyone I've been with my boyfriend for 3 and a half years we have 2 daughters lately I have been feeling like I'm a inconvenience to him we don't live together he doesn't want to live together yet or get married he goes to work drives over ...
A. 17 May 2015: You are a single mother ......... start acting like one instead of somebody's little convenience.
Stop talking, and start acting!
Get some legal advice, put some strategies in place, get some counselling to learn how to be stronger, shut t... (read in full...)
I don't want a part time husband!
Q. I feel very lonely in my marriage. I work and go to school and my husband works full time. This is not what bothers me, what bothers me is that after his job, he has to go help his father at their company. So he does double the work. By the time he ...
A. 16 May 2015: You are low on his list of priorities, you need to think about that, and if you believe that state of affairs will never change you need to decide if you are happy with that, or if you feel you deserve something a little better.
You are young, y... (read in full...)
Why do I find it harder to trust my married BF even after 2 years together?
Q. I've been with a married man for 2 years. Been here before. I find that after this long, it is harder for me to TRUST him. Can anyone enlighten me as to WHY I am having a harder time after this long trusting him? I actually found that...
A. 16 May 2015: The reason you can't trust this man is because he is a liar and a cheat.
If you don't believe me ask his wife!... (read in full...)
Should I have to give up on my dream of travelling?
Q. I have been with my partner for four years, he is studying at university and I am working full times and have been since I was 18. The thing is I am suffering through some hard times and I want to get away from my home town for a bit. My dream ...
A. 13 May 2015: Go. Go travel, see the world, if you have the money, and if you have some friends to travel with then go.
Who is he to tell you what you can do, or can't do, or even to decide what can be discussed and when. The fact he wont even DISCUSS travelli... (read in full...)
Freelance employee- how much should he be paid?
Q. I run an IT repair business in uk, which i own. I therefore pay for all my advertiding costs for getting new business. I'm looking for a freelance engineer, to be available on an ad hoc basis, paid by the hour. I feel if i pay 25% of labour charge...
A. 12 May 2015: I think you are being totally greedy. You expect somebody to be available ad hoc and want to pay them peanuts?? Why would anybody want to work for you if you are going to take 75% of what their work is worth?
I am going to assume you have don... (read in full...)
My boyfriend dumped me for going to a strip club
Q. My boyfriend dumped me cause I went to a strip club. He's been with friends and though he warned me he was jealous, I never knew he'd go so far. My friend took me and I had no idea we were headed there. I know I could have left but it didn't seem a ...
A. 11 May 2015: Am I right in understanding he has been to strip clubs? Maybe its a good thing he broke up with you, double standards in relationships can lead to resentment and even more hurt.
I agree with Jannipeg, if he is going to get jealous over you watc... (read in full...)
I think I want time to myself for a bit so I can be me, not have to answer to no one as I cant go anywhere without telling someone!
Q. Me and my other half have been in a relationship for 10 years, I'm 26 and he's 31, we have 2 kids together, he also has 3 from a previous relationship! I have recently started up my own business and I am also studying at the moment which is very ...
A. 7 May 2015: First thing to do is to realise that if you are pushed to get your assignments etc done, and are busy trying to establish a business this is probably not the optimum time to be going out and staying out late every weekend.
You are making the wron... (read in full...)
Nearing 40 and find myself in need of friends. How can I find new friends in my situation?
Q. I started seeing a medical specialist recently. I've been struggling with all sorts of problems ever since we (my husband and I) moved to another country and I asked for help as soon as I could afford it. One of my biggest problems (and my hus...
A. 7 May 2015: Its great that you write and your husband does woodwork, at home, alone ..........
Attending a class or a community group offering these will bring you into contact with other people, potential friends.
... (read in full...)
My parents struggled. Do I have the right to be resentful towards my parents? Or am I being ungrateful?
Q. I don't want this to come off as me being ungrateful or spoiled but I've always had problems and issues with money. Let me explain a little further. I grew up in poverty and it was that way my entire life. It never bothered me until I became a...
A. 5 May 2015: Most of us are the products of our upbringing, our parents included, and while a lucky few are born with that extra "oomph" that gives them the drive and determination to achieve against the odds, many more of us remain dancing the dance steps we ... (read in full...)
Nearing 40 and find myself in need of friends. How can I find new friends in my situation?
Q. I started seeing a medical specialist recently. I've been struggling with all sorts of problems ever since we (my husband and I) moved to another country and I asked for help as soon as I could afford it. One of my biggest problems (and my hus...
A. 5 May 2015: Volunteer ......... find a thrift store, your local museum, cover books at the school library, see if your primary school needs people to listen to kids read, or if they have kids who need some one on one interaction, volunteer at your nearest ... (read in full...)
A family holiday where my feelings were perhaps forgotten? Shouldn't they at least consider how I would feel, considering the problems last year?
Q. I kind of feel bad for even thinking this, but I feel really let down by my family and when I told them how I feel, I feel like they are basically telling me it doesn't matter how I feel. Basically every year for the past 4 years we have had a fa...
A. 5 May 2015: Families ........... the best of times and the worst of times. (Yes, I currently have some issues myself)
It seems your Aunt liked the place where you ate something that didn't agree with you and were bitten by bugs so much, that despite you havi... (read in full...)
The smell of smokers is a turn-off for me. Was it wrong of me to reject her? What else could I do?
Q. I am a guy who doesn't seem to have problems attracting girls. I can't stand girls when they are drunk or smokers, also both because of the smell. The drunk ones are not an issue, as I tell them that when we meet, she should refrain from drinkin...
A. 4 May 2015: Ex smoker here
Some smokers you cant tell, but others can really stink ....
Its a shame she got all upset and insulted, but if you can't stand the smell of cigarette smoke well, what did she expect you to do? Wear a mask?
Maybe when she thinks ... (read in full...)
I feel stuck. Is it reasonable that I feel so hurt at his lack of priority for me in his life?
Q. I have just ended a relationship with my boyfriend due to his lack of time for me. He says he will come over and talk but says he is busy and has a lot on with work. He is self employed but spends a lot of time procrastinating and chatting to custo...
A. 25 April 2015: No, as long as you two are talking and supporting each other it is NOT GOOD. If you have ended the relationship you need to truly move on, and if you feel you have to, then go cold turkey, get a new phone number, block him on social media, and don't ... (read in full...)
How mean is too mean? Who should pay for what in our relationship?
Q. Who pays for what in our two year relationship? Ok here is my dilemma and one that has really upset me to the point I am considering walking away because it has affected my respects for him. I am sure there will be many comments as I have googl...
A. 25 April 2015: Be honest with him, tell him you cant afford to go away with him, and tell him you cant afford to have him staying at your place, eating your food, using your hot water, and whatever else he does while he is there.
Your boyfriend is stingy a... (read in full...)
My question is should I have unprotected sex with this guy?
Q. My boyfriend has restricted me on his facebook account so I can only see his public page he says he no longer is interested in facebook and does not use it very much -which is a lie because when I go onto facebook on my account I can click on his ...
A. 24 April 2015: Why would you have sex, protected or otherwise, with a man like this?
... (read in full...)
I expected my husband to be my best friend and partner but he isn't either
Q. I am a middle aged person who has been through 1 divorce, a 30+ year abusive marriage..now I am married for the 2nd time; I was not looking for marriage a second time, but after a couple of years I really thought he was totally different from ...
A. 23 April 2015: You say you don't want to hurt him, but he doesn't give too hoots about hurting you, by not making you a priority in his life and also by keeping you on a guilt trip with his comments about how he loves being married .......
You are still yo... (read in full...)
Short of being completely blunt and rude, how can I discourage his apparent interest in me?
Q. I have to ask because this has been bothering me for more days than I can count.. If anyone has good advice, I would really appreciate it ! There's a guy at work who I am not remotely attracted to. But he seems to be attracted to me. He is a l...
A. 23 April 2015: Assume your best business like manner ..... when he accidentally meets you in the corridor say "I am really rather busy, did you have something you need to say to me" and make a look at him with eyebrows slightly raised, showing that you are ... (read in full...)
Why should I have to accept gay people, just because others do?
Q. I no we're meant to accept gays but I cant help but think its wrong and I don't hate it but I find it wrong I'm 13 by the way. I don't get why gays should be taught about in schools because why should I have to accept just cos others do? I do...
A. 20 April 2015: I'm old, now while that might be a statement to get your eyes rolling let me tell you what happened in my country, Australia, during my life time.
Until a referendum held in 1967 Australian Indigenous people, known as Aboriginals, were not cons... (read in full...)
Family Interference every step of the way. What we can do to get past this?
Q. Basically I've been with my now fiance for seven months. Since the beginning of our relationship somebody has always had a problem with us being together, whether it be her family or one or more of her ex boyfriends interfering (one of whom she...
A. 20 April 2015: I believe this is your question:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/she-said-she-will-always-chose-her-kids.html
I believe your moving in with your girlfriend and her children is not beneficial to any of them.
I don't believe you took onboard... (read in full...)
Was making light of it and ignoring how much it hurt me the right action? His comments about beautiful women upset me.
Q. My boyfriend sent me a text today saying "I wish I could have sent you a pic of the women that just left my job , holy crap I think she was a pole dancer hahaha with 2 kids" I have to be honest this hurt my feelings because I have low self esteem a...
A. 20 April 2015: There are ALWAYS going to be women who look better than us, who have nicer hair than us, who have bigger, bluer eyes, or bigger browner eyes, whose eyelashes are naturally curly and long, whose lips don't need any augmentation, whose bodies are to ... (read in full...)
Is it to soon to ask for a STD test before I rekindle with my friend?
Q. Hi I'm single I just got a call from an ex and he told me that he has been in love with me for years. Our chemistry is awesome he wants me to come to another state to visit him. I call him an ex because we were friends at one time but sex was neve...
A. 19 April 2015: Tell him you have made an appointment for your STD test and that you would appreciate him also having the test, before the relationship develops.
Tell him its for your peace of mind.
If he demurs then you make sure there is no hanky panky with... (read in full...)
Family Interference every step of the way. What we can do to get past this?
Q. Basically I've been with my now fiance for seven months. Since the beginning of our relationship somebody has always had a problem with us being together, whether it be her family or one or more of her ex boyfriends interfering (one of whom she...
A. 19 April 2015: I believe you may have written to us a few months ago, is my memory correct?
If the ex who is trying to maintain contact with her is the father of her children, and unless there is a court order stating otherwise, he has a right to know where hi... (read in full...)
She overstepped the bounds today! How do I deal with her if she comes up to me again?
Q. Well this is not really a romantic relationship question but it has to dowith a co worker who I felt overstepped today. I've a lazy eye that occassionally will act up if I'm stressed or tired. Anyway this co worker came up to me and asked me if I ...
A. 17 April 2015: She may not realise you felt disrespected, she may have believed she was being helpful......
My brother in law has a lazy eye, I don't know what he would have done in your situation, he would probably have responded with a laugh. If she offers u... (read in full...)
I think my friend is using me because I have money
Q. My best friends name is Beth and for awhile now she keeps on asking for stuff and money, and she called me fat and ugly and she just acted like she did nothing, she told someone that she thought I was Turing into a bitch, and she slapped me in the ...
A. 16 April 2015: Beth is not your best friend, or any type of friend, friends don't do those things.
You need to talk to your mum or dad, preferably both of them, about what is happening, and you need to stay right away from her. ... (read in full...)
Family spat over land has led to a falling out! How do I help resolve this?
Q. Hi Agony people. One of my sister's is supposedly building a house. My Dad told her he'd giver her a site last year and showed her where to build a house and pointed to what part of a field she should build a house on. Anyways she applied for plan...
A. 12 April 2015: Surely she was away of the right of way for farmers??
Did your father and sister have the land surveyed or did you dad simply expect your sister to do the right thing.
Your sister and father need to sit down like rational adults and discuss this... (read in full...)
Past experiences have made my boyfriend insecure and it's killing our relationship
Q. I love my boyfriend but he's overly insecure! It's from past relationships that has made him that way. He constantly looks into everything and over thinks things and it's brings me to the point I want to give up. having a social drink together has ...
A. 12 April 2015: What can you do to work on it? It is your boyfriend who has the problem, he is the one that needs to "work on it".
You told him his behaviour was killing the relationship but he didn't stop, and yet when it got to a point where you felt all you ... (read in full...)
My mother needs to stop undermining my parenting!
Q. I have a four year old daughter who Macey who is my whole life and I have tried to do everything in my power to do right by her. However, my family keep undermining my parenting. For example, when she was a baby I breast fed, and they made fun of ...
A. 12 April 2015: Mum is being a naughty girl, and needs to be treated as such.
Talk to her, "Mum, I don't appreciate you telling Macey that I talk crap, nor do I appreciate the fact you are feeling food she is not allowed." You need to stop doing this or Macey's ... (read in full...)
My partner rarely goes out, but when he does, I'm not invited!
Q. So I have a partner who doesn't drink and says it never bothers him if he ever goes out or not. He never questions me going out but I always feel guilty leaving him behind. Regardless I always ask him to join us but 9 times out of 10 he will always ...
A. 12 April 2015: There is a difference between you asking him to go out with you and your friends and him saying no, and you not even getting a choice to say yes or no.
I don't think you are being petty.
You say you feel guilty about leaving him behind, does... (read in full...)
What should I do about my nitpicking fiancé?
Q. I am at my ropes end. My fiance asked me to move in with him. I will admit I had a lot of stuff from my previous marriage (I am widowed) when I moved in with him. I was married for 24 years, so take that into account when a couple accumulates ...
A. 9 April 2015: I have a lot of stuff ... and have started whittling it down, its hard making the decision on what to keep and what to hold.
Did your fiancé make space for your stuff? Did he remove some of his stuff to make room for some of your stuff? Were the... (read in full...)
Why am I dreaming of an old lover?
Q. Why am I dreaming about an ex-lover coming back to me, and I willing go with him ? I am married almost 37 years to my husband. I do love him, but maybe not like I loved this past lover. My ex is also married, but I don't know anything more about ...
A. 6 April 2015: Dreaming of an old boyfriend, or ex lover does not necessarily mean that you are still in love with them and not your current partner (or husband).
There are two possible reasons, firstly, it could simply be that you are harking back to a time whe... (read in full...)
My boyfriend won't stop taking drugs. should I leave him?
Q. I am 25 and my partner is 30. We have been together for 8 months and have had an uneasy relationship. We love each other very much, but he takes class A drugs occasionally and I did not like this. When I came to the decision to leave him he told me ...
A. 6 April 2015: Yes
the poor little diddums is trying to make you responsible for his bad decisions
awww he cant go out with his friends anymore because he has to say no to drugs
awww poor little diddums
Yes, leave him, he knew that your moving in together m... (read in full...)
I'm having trouble with my baby daddy!
Q. My baby's dad is being horrible to me and trying to control things. We hooked up one night and had a baby never even dated. We were sort of seeing each other a couple of months ago but behind my back started seeing someone else. Now he's telling me ...
A. 5 April 2015: Just because a baby resulted from a one night stand does not mean that you and the baby's father are compatible, nor does it mean that you and the father have to be in a romantic relationship.
I don't know who the girl is that you claim is disre... (read in full...)
Am I being moronic about all this? Or ungenerous as my mother implied? And what should I do about it?
Q. My sister is 27, living in a house of her own with a partner who is very likely potential marriage material. She's not too far from our mum, who's only about an hours drive away. I'm in Student Halls over 5 hours drive away, I'm 21, coming back ...
A. 4 April 2015: Next time, if she is wearing something you like, or has worn something you like, such as the cashmere sweater, tell her you will do a swap.
Or just say NO. Then tell your sister how it made you feel to have the females in the family gang up on yo... (read in full...)
Is the threat of poverty clouding my judgement?
Q. Okay, so tell me if im the crazy one. My bf and I have been living in my house with my disabled mom for a few years. Our finances combined took a tumble; I ran out of my inheritance, and he lost his job. He has stated that he will help me with the ...
A. 3 April 2015: Whose house is it, yours, your disabled mother's or do you and your boyfriend share ownership?
I think you are being very careless with your assets, especially if you had an inheritance and lived off it until it was all gone.
What are you ... (read in full...)
He inappopriately texted other girls, worried he still has something to hide
Q. My boyfriend and I went through a rough patch because i found out he was texting girls inappropriately. I decided to forgive him and he said he'd show me his phone and give me all his passwords in an effort to regain my trust. Now, at first,...
A. 3 April 2015: Trust is something that takes time to gain, but can be lost in an instant.
Maybe he has something to hide, maybe he doesn't, his actions in the past caused you to lose trust in him.
What is he doing to help rebuild that trust? ... (read in full...)
I am his client, what are his intentions?
Q. Hi, I'm looking for advice about a man who I know professionally. Well I'm his client tbh. He is always helping me out some his job and others above and beyond. As part of his job he needs to do home visits sometimes and always comes alone but ...
A. 3 April 2015: If the payment you owed was to an organisation, Government Department or an individual other than this man I would be very concerned that he may be doing something illegal.
If the organisation, government department or individual he is employed... (read in full...)
Why did he ask me to keep this quiet from his girlfriend?
Q. My ex has offered to lend me the money to either get a new car or repair the one I have, with the agreement that I pay it back to him without his current girlfriend knowing as she doesn't know about this money he has in savings. I'm confused as to ...
A. 3 April 2015: Your ex boyfriend has a right to keep his banking details and any savings he may have confidential. Just because he has a girlfriend does not mean she has to have knowledge of all that he owns, including savings.
His being prepared to lend you... (read in full...)
The marriage is in trouble and it's my fault
Q. I am a stay at home mom with 2 babies 3 and under. My fiance works 10-12 hour shifts 6 days a week and I stay home with the kids. We live at his moms and hope to move out this month. The problem is that lately, after 2 years of being together our ...
A. 3 April 2015: You ask what is wrong with you ..........
You are a very young woman, if you have listed your age correctly as being between 18 and 21, you are at an age when many girls are only now just starting to consider their future, weighing up careers ... (read in full...)
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