A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So I have a partner who doesn't drink and says it never bothers him if he ever goes out or not. He never questions me going out but I always feel guilty leaving him behind. Regardless I always ask him to join us but 9 times out of 10 he will always decline. I enjoy being out socialising and having a drink. So I do go out every now and again with my friends. But what I have begun to notice, when he does actually go out, it's only with people that I don't really know and he would never ask me along. I have brought up the subject before and he is right in a way- if he did ask me to go I probably wouldn't on the basis that I don't know the people he's out with. But it's the fact that I am never asked along that is the issue. Am I been petty?? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (12 April 2015):
 There is a difference between you asking him to go out with you and your friends and him saying no, and you not even getting a choice to say yes or no.
I don't think you are being petty.
You say you feel guilty about leaving him behind, does this mean you live together? If you do, then his actions in automatically excluding you from invitations to meet and mix with his friends is even worse.
Is your relationship long term, by that I mean do you see yourself setting up house with him with the intention of for ever and ever?
Would you be comfortable with a partner in those circumstances who kept you excluded from his circle of friends, and his interactions with those friends?
I wouldn't like it. I would probably grow to be quite resentful.
You need to decide if this behaviour of excluding you is something you can accept and live with.
If you can't accept it then you need to discuss with him how it makes you feel...... if nothing changes then re evaluate the whole relationship.
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