Where do I draw the line with LDR BF who is becoming provocative and sexually disrespectful?
Q. Hi there, I’m after some advice about a new relationship. It’s long distance and we met online. He’s a bit older than me and has been married before. He’s not really my type but pursued me, was incredibly lovely to me at the beginning, we ha...
A. 17 February 2016: dear girl, he is not so sweet, he is manipulating you into being something and doing things that you don't want to be forced into being and doing.
The flakey and disrespectful behaviour is who he is, not the sweet guy he pretended to be to reel ... (read in full...)
Have I already given my ex too many chances?
Q. I have been in and out of a relationship with a girl for about 7 years now. We met back in high school. Back in Dec 2014 I proposed to her but she said no. Shortly after I found out that she was having sex with one of her co-workers. she ...
A. 17 February 2016: One chance is all people get, not a third or fourth or 56yh chance, where is the incentive to stop whatever it is if you are going to just keep on giving chances?
As for the custody issue, are you telling me your girlfriend shares custody of your ... (read in full...)
What can I do about this situation? My male friend is too controlling
Q. My male friend is very controlling I think. He wants everything to be on his terms. He decides when and where we hang out. If he doesn't have time, we don't do anything and won't even try to compromise. I was having a party last week and he said...
A. 17 February 2016: What can you do?
You can try for some balance, don't respond when he calls or texts, stop being available to play his games, stop expecting him to act like a decent friend (he quite clearly is not).
If he doesn't have time to hang out, do some... (read in full...)
He wants children now and I want to be married first
Q. Hello I've been with my boyfriend over a year and I love him. We plan a future together and we both want children. The problem is he wants to have children now and I want to get married first. I'm ready to get married but when I bring it up he ...
A. 16 February 2016: Ho, ho, so you are good enough to be used as a breeding cow but not good enough to make a lifelong commitment to?
Be firm, tell him very firmly you are not interested in moving in with him and certainly not prepared to have any children unless y... (read in full...)
How can I get my father's daughter and my boyfriend to grow up and stop trying to annoy one another?
Q. My ex and I have share custody of my 5 year old daughter. We get along great and we do many things together as a "family". I have been dating my current boyfriend for a year and he is perfect. I've never had a guy treat me the way he does, he's ...
A. 15 February 2016: Why does your current boyfriend hate your ex? Has he valid reasons, were you beaten, bashed, abandoned while you were pregnant?
Or does he hate your ex because he was there first, his lip on you lips, his hands on your body, there in your bed... (read in full...)
2nd time wedding blues. His wants vs my wants
Q. My fiance and I are starting to plan our wedding. This will be my second marriage and second wedding. I had the traditional wedding experience with my first wedding and am unsure of the proper etiquette for a second wedding. His family wants to ...
A. 11 February 2016: "Fiancee Fred, I know you have your heart set on a destination wedding and I don't want to deny you something you have your heart set on but are you aware that if we DO get married away from here my family and friends wont be there due to financial ... (read in full...)
Wouldn't most parents be thrilled to have a kid like me?
Q. My mom and I are having problems right now and I don't know why. I will probably graduate at the top of my class in May. No drugs, gangs, or anything I like that. I am managing money for my dad and his partners and collecting nice management fees. I ...
A. 11 February 2016: I assume Aunt is Mum's sister, Mum may be feeling that she is low on your list of priorities, and that you are selfish.
I hope, seeing as the only reason you live with Mum is due to the close proximity to your girlfriend that you have a decent a... (read in full...)
Why is he so attentive to his ex and not to me?
Q. My BF and I have been in a LDR for almost three years. We're moving together this year. I have always been very nice to all of his family members (he has a huge family compared to mine). I will get presents for every little neice and nephew and cous...
A. 10 February 2016: Ask him straight out .... "John, I know I have mentioned this before, but it really upsets me when you are so attentive to your ex's family, her nephew and nieces and her mother, and yet never never think of my family. How come your ex, and her ... (read in full...)
A threesome has turned into a disaster. My wife wants to spend the night with guy without me
Q. my wife and I have been married for twenty three years, recently she said she wanted to try a mmf threesome. She met a guy online who is older than her and after getting to know him we agreed to do it. The first two times we all had fun, the third ...
A. 10 February 2016: This guy is not your friend, regardless what your wife wants, he never was, isn't and never will be YOUR friend!
Personally, I think you need to line your ducks up in a row, get hold of any cash and other holdings from joint accounts and put them... (read in full...)
My younger husband likes to tell me that no one else will have me because I'm older
Q. I am older than my husband. Every time me and my controlling abusive husband have an argument he will say no one else will have me as I am old ( early forties, which no one believes my age) and will use a load of vulgar language towards me. I have ...
A. 10 February 2016: Yes, telling him to not ring you again was the correct thing to say.
You could also investigate if there is someway to have the prison block him from calling your number.
I would also instigate divorce proceedings as soon as you can, prefera... (read in full...)
Boyfriend no longer speaks to me, says he's too tired!
Q. Hi, My boyfriend and I live together and I noticed right away that we had no dates any longer and just coexisted, so to speak. It was a downer on the romance. I brought it up, and we've done several things to still feel like a couple and not j...
A. 8 February 2016: What do YOU want? Its okay if going to therapy is not what he wants, but he needs to understand that the alternative for you is not good.
Give him a little more time, but make sure he is aware that time is not unlimited, and that he will be needi... (read in full...)
I just keep crying and its hard to stop.
Q. Okay so i broke up with a boy about a year ago because it was toxic and not good for either of us, but we were together a year and a half and are in the same social group, we've had a rollercoaster since then. he was messaging me saying we should ...
A. 7 February 2016: The non stop crying is not good for you, have you spoken to your parents, or if that makes you uncomfortable, a school nurse or counsellor, who may need to talk to your parents afterwards because you will need some time and understanding from those ... (read in full...)
Did this married man just make fun of me, or was he falling in love with me?
Q. Hi. I've been attracted with this married guy for almost two years. When i first saw him i had a crush on him and i long to see him often. Last month we started exchanging messages. He said he wanted to know me better. We spent time together ...
A. 6 February 2016: The man is married, he thought about having an affair with you but then changed his mind. Maybe he realised jhe was risking his marriage and all that entails or maybe his wife started to get suspicious, either way he is not free to pursue any ... (read in full...)
Is it cheating or just a friend thing????
Q. Hi i have a serious question. First, I have a friend that I text behind my boyfriend's back. My friend is someone i met at work like some of my other friends. But some how he is a close friend cuz of the things we like. He knows i have a boyfriend n ...
A. 5 February 2016: Ask yourself why you are keeping this behaviour with another guy secret from your boyfriend. A second question to ask yourself is how would you feel if it was your boyfriend who had a secret girl that he was texting and getting sexy with discussing ... (read in full...)
where are the decent girls out there and why am I always getting led on?
Q. how do I know if a girl is really interested or if she is just being polite or if she just likes my attention? I'll need some seemingly nice girl in the checkout line or at a bus stop or at a party or work and we end up talking for a long time and I ...
A. 5 February 2016: Its great that you feel its okay to be blunt with girls because it means I can be blunt with you, and that I don't have to pussy foot around looking for the words to express my opinion without having to worry about hurting your feelings.
The f... (read in full...)
I'm worried about my parents and feel guilty for getting remarried
Q. I'm really tired. I got divorce 2 years a go and walked away with nothing,my choice. I have a young daughter which I share the custody. Here is the problem, I insisted that my parents join me and they got a residency and I'm they sponsor, few months ...
A. 5 February 2016: Listen to your parents, outline your concerns, and what you would like to have happen, for them, and for you, and then ask them what they really want. Tell them to think very carefully about when they are older, explain to them your wishes for them ... (read in full...)
Ex boyfriend & current boyfriend drama!!
Q. So i dated this guy for about two years, i broke up with him, hes been trying to 'get back at me' but also 'get me back' for the past six months, I recently started dating this new guy who gets very uncomfortable with my ex texting me as he will ...
A. 4 February 2016: How very exciting for you ...........
You need to decide what you want. If you hate the idea of losing your ex then you do the right thing and break up with the new guy. If you want to remain with the new boyfriend then you stop the bullshit... (read in full...)
Boyfriend no longer speaks to me, says he's too tired!
Q. Hi, My boyfriend and I live together and I noticed right away that we had no dates any longer and just coexisted, so to speak. It was a downer on the romance. I brought it up, and we've done several things to still feel like a couple and not j...
A. 4 February 2016: Stop your tears, he is not worth them. 12 months of putting up with this behaviour and he is even too tired to talk.
You have done all the right things, talked to a counsellor and are prepared to put their suggestions into action .... he is not. ... (read in full...)
What do you say to someone who is thoroughly convinced no one will like them for who they are?
Q. This question isn't really about help for me, but rather for my friend. Some info on him: he's 40, been divorced for just over a year, and is looking to date again. The problem? He hangs out in bars, claiming he's just "people watching", then com...
A. 4 February 2016: Before you wipe your hands and walk away from him you could try asking him why, if women only like jerks, he is still alone.
The guy is not worth your time, he doesn't like women, he is blaming them for all his problems, and if he is posting ... (read in full...)
How do I ask for my money?
Q. I feel really stupid asking this question. I am a math tutor. I go to my pupil's homes and give private lessons. I do it on the side and they pay me in cash. My prices are reasonable (ok, on the lower side, times are hard, but that is my decision...
A. 3 February 2016: Your text idea sounds good, you could add in that payment is usually made each visit .... this coming Tuesday will be out sixth lesson, it would be appreciated if you could leave XXX$ (6 lessons worth) in cash for the period (date to date) and make ... (read in full...)
Are my expectations too high? Alternatively, does he expect too much of me?
Q. Let's imagine you're in a LDR. This is your 10+ time flying to meet your boyfriend. Beginning with the previous visit, due to his car not being drivable, he asks you to get a rental at the airport. During the previous visit (which was 3 months a...
A. 2 February 2016: If your boyfriend's car is not going it and he cant afford to get it fixed it makes sense for one of you to hire a car.
Depending on distance, and circumstances it may also make sense for you to make your own way from the airport to where ever it ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is always late and doesn't see anything wrong with it
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year. We live 40 mins apart. I get very irritated because he is always late with me it seems. I am a punctual type of person and if I happen to run late I will apologize and let the person know and get ...
A. 2 February 2016: Being consistently late is a sign of disrespect, you, and your time, are not important.
So, don't wait for him, if he says he will be there at 5, at 10past you stick a note on the door "Hi waited to 10 past 5, realised you not coming, I have gon... (read in full...)
How can I talk to someone who won't admit to doing anything wrong?
Q. I feel like my boyfriend of 3 years is taking me for granted. I feel like he thinks he doesn't have to treat me well because I'm just going to put up with it. In the past, I have put up with it and I haven't said anything because I didn't want to ...
A. 1 February 2016: If he is not there by six put a note on the door "expected you at six, waited 10 mins, you not here, I've made alternate arrangements"
Lock up and go do something by your self or for yourself. By not being prompt he is being disrespe... (read in full...)
When someone just disappears is it your fault?
Q. When you treat some one special, then they disappear, with out even a good bye, after months of pure joy, is it your fault, especially when you thought you both felt the same way...
A. 1 February 2016: Your question lacks detail, is there enough evidence to show that the person is not a victim of foul play, have the moved house or just dropped off the radar, with no phone or other contact?
Have you checked with her family, friends and place of... (read in full...)
What can I do when she gets in a mood like this?
Q. My friend has been really difficult and I don't know how to deal with it or if it's even worth it. She's been having a hard time the last couple of years and the things we both went through in life is what made us bond in the first place, as much ...
A. 27 January 2016: The woman is living in La La Land .... leave her there, you have given her enough of your time and energy, I would wish her well in her future endeavours and leave her too it. Life is too short for that sort of crap!... (read in full...)
Is he being insensitive or really think of not wanting to meet so he plays this *game*?
Q. So Ive been in a relationship with my BF for 7 months. He likes to call me by 30+ pet names and at one point started playing a game where I should say my real name is not my name or he will count strikes and skip meeting days we meet up on. He even ...
A. 27 January 2016: Your boyfriend is nasty, malicious and manipulating. Tell him GAME OVER and block him .... did I mention his behaviour is nasty? Make sure you block him good and proper, and don't have anything further to do with him, something is not quite right ... (read in full...)
We never iron out our differences when we argue and I'm wondering if I should walk away?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a couple years, when we argue or have a problem that needs to be addressed he will not, if I bring it up he gets angry then we are arguing again so we never iron out or differences... It's very frustrating!! ...
A. 26 January 2016: You sit him down at the kitchen table, you say his name so that he is LOOKING at you, and you tell him. "I feel that us not being able to resolve our differences frustrating, and I am starting to feel like walking away altogether"
If he tries to... (read in full...)
Should I even bother with a man who still has his ex's photo on the wall 10 years after she has passed away?
Q. I went met this guy online. We talked for 9 months before making plans to meet in person. He was a very nice guy, but has an annoying side to him. He liked to win when we had our little spats. Anyway, we went on a couple of dates finally, and they...
A. 24 January 2016: Would it still be weird if it was a picture of his dead grandparent, or a dead parent or dead child, are people weird for having pictures of people who have died hanging on their walls, or framed on their mantelpieces?
What about people who have... (read in full...)
We've been married 7 months and I'm still a virgin because I'm terrified of getting pregnant!
Q. Hi, I'm embarrassed writing on here but I don't have anyone I can confide in.... I hope I don't offend anyone with my post but I'm so sad and frustrated I don't know what to do.... I'm 34, and got married 7 months ago after being with my hu...
A. 24 January 2016: I feel that if your husband is not pressing you for sex after almost 6 years (5 years dating, 7 months married)that he may have a very low sex drive, so you can stop spending all your money on those expensive tests and put it towards something fun ... (read in full...)
How do I handle the wedding invite of a brother I haven't spoken to in 10 years?
Q. About ten years ago, I caught my brother stealing from me(about fifty dollars) so he could take his girlfriend (now ex-girlfriend) out on a date. He was a very selfish person. At that time, we live together at my parents house. Due to my ...
A. 20 January 2016: I think your brother is extending the olive branch, but it is totally up to you if you attend or not.
If you don't want to go, don't send the invite back, that could be viewed as an attempt to reignite the situation, if you cant attend either s... (read in full...)
My husband is in prison but accuses me of cheating. He doesn't understand why I don't wish to be with him. He lied to me!
Q. If your husband had served a prison sentence for physically harming you but you forgave him and visited him and stood by him and he made you so many promises that these things would never happen again and he was going to give you a nice life and ...
A. 20 January 2016: Next time he phones remind him he broke his promises and that you are under no legal obligation to support him emotionally or financially. Tell him you are filing for divorce because HE broke the marriage contract and then block his number so that ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend didn't want sex and turned it around that maybe I should find someone who can give me what I want. Where did that come from?
Q. My boyfriend and I are not intimate that often, last night I wanted to be with him, he said no, maybe tomorrow and rolled over. I told him my feelings were hurt and I was feeling like I wasn't wanted. He twisted it all around saying I made him ...
A. 16 January 2016: 54 is NOT OLD! Sex might not be his priority, but he certainly shouldn't be rejecting your advances in such a hurtful way.
I suppose his workload hasn't increased lately, or that he has extra stresses at work that could be causing some issues, ... (read in full...)
I'm feeling very stressed and depressed with the relationship. All he wants is sex!
Q. I've been feeling a little lost and depressed with my relationship. Before this, I'd been with someone who was very emotionally and mentally abusive. It took a lot for me to finally get away from him, he was extremely manipulative. About a year ...
A. 16 January 2016: You boyfriend seems to be stuck in a routine, and may be unware that you would prefer to be making love, rather than just be having sex. He might not even know there is a difference so you are going to have to tell him.
Be up front, tell him you ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend spends all his time with his friends and my daughter and I are never his priority
Q. Hi my problem is I've been with my boyfriend for 3 year we live together and have a gorgeous 1 yr old baby girl the problem is since we got together we don't spend any time together I've asked him so many times to spend more time with us but he just ...
A. 11 January 2016: Kick him out and tell him he is not welcome back until he grows up enough to recognise his child and partner as his priorities. Do it sooner rather than later as the longer you leave it to take charge of your life the harder it will be.... (read in full...)
Why couldn't he have come back in my life before I got married
Q. I feel my life is a movie right now and I need help please. Years ago when I was 22 (I'm now 34) I met and fell in love with this guy, my age and we were together almost 2 years. I was convinced he was "the one." He then got an opportunity to s...
A. 10 January 2016: my calculations say its around 10 years, give or take a few, that he left.
Why was he surprised you were married, what had he expected you to do?
And think on this, your meeting him again after all those years was just coincidence, he ... (read in full...)
I feel like I give and get nothing back ....
Q. In a new relationship, she hasn't, introduce, me to her grown up son, who lives in the same town, or her two girlfriends,going on six months, am, I a secret, don't get to see each other alot, it almost sounds, like her an one of her girlfriend, is ...
A. 9 January 2016: Six months is a short time in the scheme of things, and there could be a wide variety of reasons for the things that appear to be concerning you, for example, she may prefer to take things slowly, her adult son might not be interested in meeting a ... (read in full...)
I feel guilty for giving him back some of his own medicine!
Q. My husband has been abusing me verbally, emotionally, physically and financially for the last 4 years. We have been separated for a month now and he is trying to be nice sometimes and then can be nasty. I am feeling upset at the moment as I have...
A. 9 January 2016: Yes, quite normal, let him know what you think, especially if he is doing the hot / cold, nice / nasty thing to you.
Think of it this way, you have tolerated his abuse for 48 months, and you have been letting him know you are unhappy for only one... (read in full...)
I'm crushing on my professor who I've heard sleeps with students
Q. I am a second year student at a university and am 18 years old. I took a class last year with a professor and I think he might like me, I just don't know if he wants me. He tells me I look nice, and compliments me a lot. He also hugs me and tells me ...
A. 8 January 2016: What happened to all these other students he sleeps with, do they all get bumped up to A's as well? Do you think that is ethical or do you think sleeping with some older man who spreads his lurvv amongst the nubile young students in his care is ... (read in full...)
Do I let a work collegeague know that her fiance is cheating on her?
Q. I've come across something quite disturbing and need some advice please. Last weekend I was on a hen party spa weekend with my friends. We went to this beautiful hotel which also had a spa and was a 2 hour drive from our town. Whilst we were ...
A. 8 January 2016: Don't do the anonymous email thing, not only will the photos devastate her but your colleague will also be wondering who the sender was .... and freak out over who might have given out her email address.
You could tell her you saw her fiancé's... (read in full...)
We are worried about how our families will react to our age difference!
Q. A year ago while watching a Dr Phil episode about a "sugar daddy" website I checked it out mainly out of curiosity but actually ended up meeting someone. It started out as just hanging out when he was in town on business but it later turned i...
A. 8 January 2016: Your families are going to be concerned, yours because partnering up with a man twice her age is NOT what we want for our daughters, no matter how adult they are.
Your BF's family are going to wonder where is head is at, their reactions will dif... (read in full...)
I am at the end of my rope and struggling with health and family problems.
Q. This isn't about a romantic relationship, but I am at the end of my rope. I desperately need help but I am petrified because it seems hopeless. Let me preface this by saying that I had an emergency surgery a few days ago... I am heavily medicate...
A. 7 January 2016: Let me play devil's advocate for a moment, I want to know what plans you have put in place for when the moment comes that you can no longer live with your mother, or run to her for comfort. Have you considered what you will do if she cannot be ... (read in full...)
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