The marriage is in trouble and it's my fault
Q. I am a stay at home mom with 2 babies 3 and under. My fiance works 10-12 hour shifts 6 days a week and I stay home with the kids. We live at his moms and hope to move out this month. The problem is that lately, after 2 years of being together our ...
A. 3 April 2015: You ask what is wrong with you ..........
You are a very young woman, if you have listed your age correctly as being between 18 and 21, you are at an age when many girls are only now just starting to consider their future, weighing up careers ... (read in full...)
Communal family living? My husband wants to buy a bigger home so his family can move in. How can I persuade him to not do this?
Q. my husband wants to buy a house big enough for us to move into, and move the in laws in with us. Trouble is I most definitely do not want this! although he wont hear of anything otherwise. We are in our 20's, we have 3 young children. his pa...
A. 2 April 2015: I really feel for you, not for his grand "one big happy family" idea but because he is not listening to you, to your needs and wishes, or even your fears, and that is not good in a marriage.
If he is hellbent on moving into a house with his pare... (read in full...)
How do I know the difference between gut instinct and paranoia?
Q. Hi all. This question has two parts. Should you ever ask your BF if he finds another woman attractive and if he would ever fvck her? I asked my BF tonight if he would fvck this other woman we both know and he said not while he was with me. T...
A. 31 March 2015: He said he would not cheat on you ... why wasn't that enough? Why did you push for an answer you KNEW was going to upset you?
Maybe your suggestion that you need professional help is the way to go.
... (read in full...)
He only talks to me when he is drunk!
Q. I don't know if I should continue trying or step away. I've known this guy for over 5 years. he is well aware that I like him however there is a huge age gap.which I believe may be the reason why we haven't become anything, nor has he tried mak...
A. 28 March 2015: If he was "into you" he would be initiating contact when he is sober ......... the age difference is not the issue, the issue is that he is a drunken user, he is nice to you when you meet up with him while out because he knows you will get him home ... (read in full...)
Toxic work place? Co-workers underminging me. How can I face them on Monday? How should I behave?
Q. I'd really like some advice. I work with a lady called “X” who i thought i got on well with. We text each other outside of work and i've given her a lift home etc She's older than me so i sort of looked to her as a mother figure in a way. ...
A. 27 March 2015: You go into work as usual, you say morning" to your colleagues, you respond in a polite and open manner if they direct conversation towards you.
These ladies now know that you are aware of their backstabbing, duplicitous behaviour, they should b... (read in full...)
The girl I have been chatting with slept with someone else
Q. I have been chatting with a girl for over a year. Lately she has been getting very sexual in her comments, even saying we should meet for sex. I am not necessarily the type to want to meet a woman for sex (only) so I laugh her comments off. ...
A. 22 March 2015: Did the female friend who said any woman who was interested would wait give any indication how long she expected somebody to actually wait for you to make a move ...... its already been 12 months, maybe she should have waited another 12 months, or ... (read in full...)
My partner puts his ex and a child that isn't his before our family and I'm feeling resentful about it!
Q. I'd like some advice on how to stop feeling so negative towards a child. I know im a horrible person for feeling this way, honestly you have no idea how low I'm feeling so I'm not looking for insults or negative comments regarding this, I'm coming ...
A. 21 March 2015: Your question did not read as trivial, and you are not over reacting.
You need to stop bottling it all up, you need to communicate your feelings to your partner, tell him how it made you feel when he left you and the new baby alone, and how it m... (read in full...)
My boyfriend came back but what about this other guy?
Q. Hi, I have been a relationship for almost 2 years now!lately things have been going downhill,we began to argue a lot and started fighting every single day..after one such major fight we stopped talking to each other for 3 weeks during which I got cl...
A. 21 March 2015: Ask yourself if you relationship with your boyfriend is really what you want, think carefully about how much fun it was to talk to the new guy, how easy it was to talk and laugh and just generally enjoy life.
You have been given a fairly strong h... (read in full...)
A girl I like had sex with someone else while we were talking.
Q. Hey, a little back story first: I recently began going to college. During the first few weeks I met this girl that I instantly clicked with. We began hanging out and making out and what not but never anything more because I am a virgin and want ...
A. 21 March 2015: In some circles it seems sex is viewed as just another activity to be shared between people, and, based on the fact this girl was quite open about being bruised and having sex might be somebody who DID view it that way. She does appear to be sad ... (read in full...)
It was not my kid but I lost my girlfriend over it anyway. I'd like to get her back but am worried she'll take me to court!
Q. I cheated on my girlfriend with this skank from work that everybody slept with. She knew I had a girlfriend I loved and it was just sex. She wanted me to be with her but that would never happen. She told me she was pregnant and my world ended. My ...
A. 17 March 2015: Mate, you need to take a good, long look at yourself.
What was your behaviour like for your ex girlfriend to threaten you with court action?
And if the girl who thought she was pregnant is a skank, what does that make you, SHE wasn't lying to ... (read in full...)
Any advice on giving advice to someone whose heart is broken?
Q. So my sister-in-law is 6 months pregnant and just found out that the guy who got her pregnant doesn't want to be with her anymore. I want to give her advice but all I can manage is to tell her that he's not worth her time of he's so quick to give ...
A. 16 March 2015: Oops, accidentally posted before finishing, be there for her, go to antenatal appointments with her if you can.
Don't say anything negative about the father to her at this stage, he may simply have baulked at the future of being a parent, and coul... (read in full...)
Any advice on giving advice to someone whose heart is broken?
Q. So my sister-in-law is 6 months pregnant and just found out that the guy who got her pregnant doesn't want to be with her anymore. I want to give her advice but all I can manage is to tell her that he's not worth her time of he's so quick to give ...
A. 16 March 2015: Your poor sister must be going through some terrible times, being pregnant and all that entails and also having to deal with the father deciding it was all too hard for him.
If you can step up that would be fantastic.
Tell her you know she is ... (read in full...)
I'm in a total quandary! In love with my FWB and wondering if I should tell him?
Q. I'm in a total quandary! I've been in a "friends with benefits" relationship for over two years with a guy who has a girlfriend, but whom he is mostly only with for financial "trapped" reasons. Debts and life's stresses mean it is nigh on impossible ...
A. 16 March 2015: This guy has you falling for a whole line of BS, hook, line and sinker.
He does not have decent intentions towards you, you are being used as you fear, and your fears are not groundless, your gut is trying to tell you the truth but he is sprinkli... (read in full...)
I have a huge secret crush on a woman who has become friends with my own fiancee. Do I reveal my crush, or not?
Q. I'm engaged to a wonderful woman that I have been with for 8 years (since I was 18). She is a beautiful person, inside and out, and I feel terrible guilt about asking this. She has become friends with a girl (let's call her Jane) over the past two ...
A. 15 March 2015: I don't quite understand what you think will happen if you tell Jane how you feel about her.
Have you thought this through at all?
Jane is in a relationship with a woman ........ is that what the attraction is? I have known men who seem to thin... (read in full...)
Why won't my ex give me back my garage door opener? Is she punishing me or does she want me back?
Q. I broke up with my ex about a month ago, we were together almost a year though a LOT of ups and downs. She was frequently insecure and jealous and would always accuse me of trying to sleep with other women. We're talking about friends 10 years ...
A. 8 March 2015: Block her number, block her on social networking sites and get a new garage door opener, she is being petty, and vindictive and looking for a response.
Don't give her one, don't give her the satisfaction of knowing she has got to you, simply g... (read in full...)
I want him so bad, I know he's the one! Advice?
Q. Basically i was with this guy and our relationship was alright (not too strong but not too bad) but then we started having petty arguements over nothing. But when we broke up we didnt really have a conclusion like our relationship just gradually ...
A. 8 March 2015: If he wasn't happy with his current girlfriend he would break up with her, I think the messages he sent was him trying not to hurt you further ..... young men are not known for their communication skills when it comes to talking about emotions.
... (read in full...)
Good girl meets bad boy.... do I cut my losses or suggest counseing?
Q. This is your typical good girl meets bad boy story...I have been with my partner for 3.5years and we live together. A year into the relationship, we were living together at this point, he found out I was seeing someone when we first started dating. ...
A. 8 March 2015: Phht! His "quite old fashioned views" didn't stop him dealing drugs nor do they stop him from being supported by a woman .......
You didn't cheat, he is using this as a tool to manipulate you into feeling bad, and so that you will, in an effort t... (read in full...)
He has anxiety and depression. I need some tips on how to encourage and develop a friendship with this guy to help him feel more comfortable about us as friends, please?
Q. Hi I'm in my mid 20s and would love some advice,. I have a male friend that I am back in touch with from years back. We've always had feelings for each other, but he said he doesn't want a relationship while he is fighting his depression and anxi...
A. 7 March 2015: You are not listening to him, he said he doesn't want a relationship while he is fighting his depression and anxiety.
So you need to hear what he said, which was that he doesn't want a relationship while he is fighting his depression and anxiety.... (read in full...)
Abandon our plans to assist at 10 year ex-husband's - Issue of Principle
Q. Me and my GF have had a relationship for over six months, due to a difficult schedule we dont get as much time together as we would like. However Sundays we are able and look forward to getting together between 1pm and 4pm. She is a single working ...
A. 5 March 2015: He is the father of her children, and as such is going to be either part of, or on the periphery, her life for as long as she lives. Kids packing boxes, broken limbs, birthdays, graduations, weddings, babies, good times and bad times your girlfriend ... (read in full...)
Are these signs this guy is a player or not interested(even though he has a girlfriend)?
Q. -Never makes much effort to see me and only when he's away will he talk about us catching up next, but when he's home doesn't initiate anything. -Acts flirty over text, never answers phone calls, acts cold/distant in real life. -When we're 'f...
A. 5 March 2015: Why are you bothering?
He has a girlfriend, doesn't want you to be part of his circle of friends, doesn't care when you send him photos, doesn't catch up when he is home and uses you as a fill in when he is bored.
I would say he is not interest... (read in full...)
One of my work colleagues and friends has been diagnosed with cancer. How do I let her know I'm thinking of her?
Q. Im unsure if this is the right place to ask for this type of advice, but there is such a variety of people on here that im hoping someone can advise me. Basically whilst Ive been off on maternity leave, Ive been told that one of my work collegue...
A. 5 March 2015: The best thing to do is to phone, if somebody else answers the phone and she is unable to talk, ask them to pass on a message.
If she is able to talk with you, just tell her you don't want to tire her out, but that you just wanted to let her ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend won't listen to me when I say I want him to stop watching porn, he even uses my phone to watch it! Help!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. We also live together. I was having an issue with him looking at porn. I know guys are going to be guys. But....He only can get on the internet on my cellphone, so it kinda hurts my feeling...
A. 1 March 2015: You are under no obligation to share your phone with anybody. So, while you decide what you want to do, you can have a temporary fix to the problem by keeping it in your pocket or removing the battery.
The watching of porn by one person in a rel... (read in full...)
My mum is insistent that I move out and get a job.. but I am already doing a beauty course..how do I get her to back off?
Q. I am currently finishing a full time beauty therapy course. I have been looking for jobs, but so far have been unsuccessful. my mum is giving me such a hard time at the moment, phoning me up and calling me a "fucking disgrace" because i havent got a ...
A. 1 March 2015: I don't understand. If you don't live at home, but have purchased your own home, where is the problem, is your mother financially supporting you?
If not, then limit then, hard as it may seem or feel, you will just have to limit the amount o... (read in full...)
I think anything I did while we were broken up is none of his business!
Q. I broke up with my BF for 5 months. He's married by the way and we had an affair for 2 1/2 years. We have started talking again and want to pursue a relationship but only if he leaves his wife. I refuse to get back to that stressful, wrong mess. ...
A. 1 March 2015: So to recap, your boyfriend is still married, you are still having sex with him, and he has said if he leaves his wife he is going to date other women.
If that is good enough for you, continue sleeping with him, if you feel you want, or deserve,... (read in full...)
He hates sex, I stopped trying to initiate, now he says I neglect him!
Q. MOD NOTE: Question asker is aged 60. Hi there. Any help/suggestions for my situation? My man is almost completely impotent....very affectionate, lots of pecks and hugs, but no passionate kissing, and a real fear of sex...whether he's afrai...
A. 28 February 2015: Tell him how bad it feels to be constantly rejected. Pecks and hugs are fine for platonic friends but if you need more that that you need to tell him and he should then consider your needs.
I am sure he is old enough to know there is more tha... (read in full...)
I think anything I did while we were broken up is none of his business!
Q. I broke up with my BF for 5 months. He's married by the way and we had an affair for 2 1/2 years. We have started talking again and want to pursue a relationship but only if he leaves his wife. I refuse to get back to that stressful, wrong mess. ...
A. 28 February 2015: Wow! Double standards much?
Its okay for him to be married and cheating on his wife, having sex with you, but not okay for you to see other men or to have sex.
Tell him to grow some, and that if he wants you to recline before him, legs akimbo... (read in full...)
I think anything I did while we were broken up is none of his business!
Q. I broke up with my BF for 5 months. He's married by the way and we had an affair for 2 1/2 years. We have started talking again and want to pursue a relationship but only if he leaves his wife. I refuse to get back to that stressful, wrong mess. ...
A. 28 February 2015: Wow! Double standards much?
Its okay for him to be married and cheating on his wife, having sex with you, but not okay for you to see other men or to have sex.
Tell him to grow some, and that if he wants you to recline before him, legs akimbo... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's mother doesn't make food available for him
Q. Dear Cupid, My boyfriend and I are both 22 years old, we just finished university and have been looking for jobs. I managed to finally find one however my boyfriend is still looking and trying to find one. The problem is, I'm unsure of how to...
A. 28 February 2015: Sorry for the multiple responses but I had a "lightbulb moment"
From your original question: " I usually go over to his house on the weekends to stay over and every single time I go, his house has no food".
It seems that your complaint isn't ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's mother doesn't make food available for him
Q. Dear Cupid, My boyfriend and I are both 22 years old, we just finished university and have been looking for jobs. I managed to finally find one however my boyfriend is still looking and trying to find one. The problem is, I'm unsure of how to...
A. 28 February 2015: You say your question is what can you do to help.
My question is help what?
The 14 year old is given money to buy food at school, where she has her main meal of the day, and it sounds like she can eat what is in the house, whether it is eg... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's mother doesn't make food available for him
Q. Dear Cupid, My boyfriend and I are both 22 years old, we just finished university and have been looking for jobs. I managed to finally find one however my boyfriend is still looking and trying to find one. The problem is, I'm unsure of how to...
A. 27 February 2015: I have been poor, with kids, one of them a boy with a ravenous appetite who could probably have found an after school job but then I wouldn't have been able to work because he had a younger sister who he stayed home with after school.
He was like... (read in full...)
I'm suspicious about my daughter and son relationship.
Q. I have a son, who is 19 and a daughter, who is 17. I'm suspicious of their relationship. I went through some tough divorces and I've been away for a couple of years but I wanted a father for my children and they had family friends watching over them ...
A. 27 February 2015: I think there are a lot more issues here than your suspicions about the relationship between your son and daughter.
Have you considered your daughter might be being harsh with you because your priority over the past few years was you, it sounds l... (read in full...)
Man I started talking to online won't stop sexting me! Opinions?
Q. Right, hi everyone. :) So I'm hoping to throw this out there and see if I'm overreacting. The other day I started chatting with a guy online and we seemed to hit it off. We exchanged numbers and the next day we decided - quite spontaneously...
A. 25 February 2015: Block his number. Stop talking to him and simply block his number.... (read in full...)
I'm his girlfriend but our mutual friend is now treating me like a third wheel
Q. I feel like my on/off boyfriend of 2 years doesn't know how to set boundaries when it comes to other girls. Alright so basically my boyfriend and I have a mutual female friend. The three of us have spent a good chunk of our lives together so we h...
A. 23 February 2015: I agree with Tisha, tell him what you have told us. Let him know that if you are his girlfriend he needs to treat you like it.
If he doesn't or goes on about her feelings etc etc, just pick up your belongings and walk out of there.
You don... (read in full...)
I am pregnant with married boyfrind's child. He is away and I don't know what to do!
Q. I need help. More than ever. I am here all alone with nobody to talk to. I have been with a married man for 2 years. I love him. I truly love him. I know, I am stupid. I have just found out tonight that I am pregnant with his child. He is out...
A. 23 February 2015: The only sure fire way for you boyfriend to not father any more children would have been for him to be celibate, and he wasn't so now he is about to be a daddy again, oops!
For the moment the fact he is married needs to be taken out of the equa... (read in full...)
Husband has apologised and wants me back, but I haven't changed since I left him.
Q. I left my husband because he had a problem with my body and would make comments. Mainly about loose skin ( dr says its as good as it will ever be again short of surgery which I'm not doing ) from babies and my breasts sagging , the general aging ...
A. 22 February 2015: You want your marriage back, but why, which bit of your marriage? You were unhappy enough, yet strong enough, to walk away from a husband who had no respect for you, and who did not show by word or deed that he loved you.
What is he prepared... (read in full...)
How do I explain to his parents why mine wont be at the wedding?
Q. I haven't ever really been close to my parents, and I left home as soon as I could aged 16. I moved away from my hometown 4 years ago and haven't really seen my parents other then family parties ever since. I guess a lot of it is my bad relations...
A. 22 February 2015: You may need to be blunt, but pick the time and place, "I won't be inviting my parents to the wedding, I have not spoken to them for seven years, my father was a bully who beat me as a child and my mother let him do it. I hope you understand that I ... (read in full...)
How can I cope with this? Hasn't been a good marriage. Wife is leaving me.
Q. So after five years of marriage my wife is leaving me. It hasn't been a good marriage, with her spending our money and leaving me to pay off he debts, she has ben humiliating me. She makes herself look good, but she rarely helps around the house et...
A. 21 February 2015: Would you have been taking those four people with you when you transfer?
If you part own the company can you not employ somebody to take your place?
If you own part of the company offer your share to one of the other owners before selling ... (read in full...)
How can I cope with this? Hasn't been a good marriage. Wife is leaving me.
Q. So after five years of marriage my wife is leaving me. It hasn't been a good marriage, with her spending our money and leaving me to pay off he debts, she has ben humiliating me. She makes herself look good, but she rarely helps around the house et...
A. 21 February 2015: Hey, you are already a winner though you can't see it just yet, you are rid of a wife who spends your money, humiliates you and who you suspect of cheating.
Get to see a lawyer before you move bush!! Tie up your affairs so that your soon to ... (read in full...)
My husband puts his parents before me and it hurts!
Q. Hi everybody, I had a lump followed by pain in my breast so I asked my husband to take me to the doctors. We went and then that doctor scheduled me for an ultrasound which was three weeks after that. Come the morning of that appointment my husband ...
A. 20 February 2015: Your husband may not be mature enough for marriage, he probably likes the rumpy pumpy on tap and having a nice little wifey to take care of chores around the house but apart from that it seems he doesn't care all that much.
Your health is importan... (read in full...)
I caught my husband taking negatively about me to the kids and family
Q. I've been married to a man for three years. I had three kids to bring to this relationship he had 2... At first things were great between us like they are in the beginning... We have since then bought a house and are starting to try to make a ...
A. 17 February 2015: Firstly, good on you for trusting your kids and not believing him when he said they were liars.
He is now upset because he knows that you know HE is the liar, and a not very nice person. He thought he had the upper hand in the marriage and now ... (read in full...)
My LDR boyfriend doesn't trust me
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend a little over a year. We met online, and eventually met in person. As of right now we're LDR (long distance relationship.) again, just for a few more months. Ever since day 1, he has had trust issues. MAJOR. At fir...
A. 15 February 2015: I think you are being very economical with the answers to our questions because you don't want to hear our responses.
I am concerned that you are not putting much thought into how you are going to live after you turn the magical 18, from your ans... (read in full...)
My LDR boyfriend doesn't trust me
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend a little over a year. We met online, and eventually met in person. As of right now we're LDR (long distance relationship.) again, just for a few more months. Ever since day 1, he has had trust issues. MAJOR. At fir...
A. 15 February 2015: Does graduating mean that you will be packing up your life and moving to where he is?... (read in full...)
My LDR boyfriend doesn't trust me
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend a little over a year. We met online, and eventually met in person. As of right now we're LDR (long distance relationship.) again, just for a few more months. Ever since day 1, he has had trust issues. MAJOR. At fir...
A. 14 February 2015: I am also a little perplexed, how old is your LDR boyfriend, and how was he able to visit for the whole of the summer? Or you visit him for the whole summer?
Any answer that could be give would depend very much on how old your boyfriend is.... (read in full...)
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