A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I'm looking for advice about a man who I know professionally. Well I'm his client tbh. He is always helping me out some his job and others above and beyond. As part of his job he needs to do home visits sometimes and always comes alone but my neighbour who is also his client told me there is always 2 member's of staff out to her. I can't explain it all without saying too much, for e.g. the other day I went to make a payment to him and he told me he would write it off, just like that. I didn't need to do a thing? I had the money so it wasn't like I didn't or was asking him too. My point of him always helping more than he has too. Do you think he likes me more than a client? He is a good bit older in his 40s. I don't have a clue if he is single or not. I can't help but think. Why does this man who really doesn't have to keep helping Mr? Thought on this would be helpful. Thanks.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2015): My car went to my local garage yesterday. They put my bumper back on (a small prang) and kindly said I didn't need to pay as I go there yearly. I took 2 mins and only needed a screw so I felt that was fine. If I'd been male I'm sure they would have said the same. However I feel your story is different.
I agree with SoVeryConfused. I don't think he is just being kind. Why would he? You are not a charity case. He is doing regular work for you so you should pay him. You imply it's not a one off so he will be doing work for you in the future then what?
As a woman I do get irked when some women say they want equality but also like a man to give them "special treatment".I don't mean to sound harsh but you will only have to yourself to blame if he expects something in return. Next time pay-insist if necessary-then you won't be beholden to him.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (3 April 2015):
 he's about double your age and I fear he is using your inexperience to set you up for something that is not "kosher"
you say you are his client.
your neighbors/friends are also his clients and that there is STAFF.
sounds to me like he's being very kind and eventually he will offer the HUG or comfort you need on a bad day and from there it will move to more than hugs to help comfort him....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2015): I posted the question:
No nothing has been illegal.
I do like him, in the sense he is a nice man doesn't make me feel uneasy ect. He does give me, "special treatment" so to speak as I already said.
I think the 2nd poster was correct and he is just a nice guy trying to help me out.
Thank you.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (3 April 2015):
 If the payment you owed was to an organisation, Government Department or an individual other than this man I would be very concerned that he may be doing something illegal.
If the organisation, government department or individual he is employed by usually sends two representatives to visit their clients I would be very concerned at his intentions, especially as you seem quite young.
My concern is that if he is acting contrary to his employment conditions that you may become embroiled in illegal activities rather than the emotional entanglement you appear to be envisaging.
I suggest you think very carefully about what is happening here, and if you too feel there are areas of concern you find a respected community member to discuss these concerns with, to decide what you need to do.
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