A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Well this is not really a romantic relationship question but it has to dowith a co worker who I felt overstepped today. I've a lazy eye that occassionally will act up if I'm stressed or tired. Anyway this co worker came up to me and asked me if I have ever had surgery on my eye. WTF!! I've been working four years at my current job and NO ONE has ever been disrespectful about my eye. No one at any of my places of work in the past either. She said that she has worked with children with strabismus before. I honestly don't care who she has worked with and yes I've had surgery. I was wondering why the hell she kept staring at me and then she came up to me. This is a woman I don't even see or talk to regularly. How do I handle this if she comes up to me again?
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male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (18 April 2015):
WTF!!! Is wrong with you??? So you have an lazy eye...Okay...now what?
Someone comes and make a stupid comment...and ???
No...I have not had surgery for my eye. Have you had surgery for your mouth?? "My mouth...why??" "Oh it just seems to say whatever it wants without being asked...that's all."
Dude...I would say..." A lazy eye in my head, but not in bed" :)
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (17 April 2015):
 I have a lazy eye. I was born totally cross-eyed and since I am a bit older than you I had some interesting media back then to make me feel better
I associated myself with Sally Brown and Clarence the cross eyed lion
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clarence,_the_Cross-Eyed_Lion
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sally_Brown
I wore an eye patch and glasses from age 18 months (which in 1961 it was hard to find glasses for a baby or even see a baby with glasses on)
I am legally blind in the eye it does not work at all and when I am tired or stressed it will drift.
I actually just tell people all the time that I am blind in my right eye especially when I am driving with them in the car with me for the first time...
My friends have learned to walk on my left side because I can't see them on the right..
just giving you background so I can comment and you know I get it.
I do not think she meant to be rude. I would never take it as rude. It was just someone with no social skills. Many of us are clueless about things like this. And because it bothers you, you are overly sensitive about it.
My older son is on the autistic spectrum. He also has a slight speech impediment (he has issues with R and P) but at 3 his IQ tested over 140 (sadly now he tests half of that) and I was out with him and he was acting up and some lady said to me "it must be so hard to raise a retarded child" (the word was still acceptably used for mentally challenged or developmentally delayed in those days)
and I said to her "I wouldn't know he's not retarded"
and she said "oh it's ok you can admit it I'm a special ed teacher" and I said
"you must not be very good at it since he's got an IQ of 148 and is NOT retarded" she shut up.
people talk with out thinking.
just say "bless your heart" and keep doing your own thing and don't let insentive stupid people bug you.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (17 April 2015):
 I agree, I don't think she was trying to be rude, I think she wanted to be helpful.
I know you FEEL like she found this "flaw" in you and HAD to point it out - I think you totally misread the situation.
And Auntie Bim Bim is right... Just say "thanks for the advice I'll think about it" and then go back to what you were doing.
I had a coworker who would give me ALL kind of "medical" advice. Like the ONE time (didn't happen more than that) that I came to work with a hangover -( I was called in on a day off) and she thought I was so pale and sleepy because I had cramps - like it really was ANY of her business, but I just nodded and said thanks to her advice... finished work and went home to bed. She meant well, I'm sure. But I did have a WTF moment too.
Don't take it personal unless she start going on and on and on about your lazy eye in front of others OR if she makes you uncomfortable.
Having a lazy eye is NO big deal.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (17 April 2015):
 I think too that the intention was kind behind the tactless action. She probably did not mean to diss you, just to offer you the benefit of her experience,- she just did not think that you ' d be sensitive about having your " flaw " pointed out, because some people would not be . ( After all, what 's a lazy eye which occasionally acts up ?! It's not as if you were the Elephant Man ! ) Sure, she should have thought that SOME people COULD be self conscious in a case like yours- but... forgive her :).
And remember : also Venus had a lazy eye .
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (17 April 2015):
 I think she believed she was being helpful, not hurtful. Most people know not to say certain things, in fear of hurting someone's feelings. But she clearly didn't piece together that it would hurt your feelings or upset you, and so she proceeded anyway. I think it was good intentions gone wrong.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (17 April 2015):
 She may not realise you felt disrespected, she may have believed she was being helpful......
My brother in law has a lazy eye, I don't know what he would have done in your situation, he would probably have responded with a laugh. If she offers unsolicited advise just say "thankyou I will give your advise due consideration" and keep doing whatever it was you were doing.
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