A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Okay, so tell me if im the crazy one. My bf and I have been living in my house with my disabled mom for a few years. Our finances combined took a tumble; I ran out of my inheritance, and he lost his job. He has stated that he will help me with the finances, but it's been hard for the both of us to keep up with the bills.I was talking to my best friend about needing help with house and how we were considering getting a friend/tenant (that we can trust and can actually pay)[=when i had the money i allowed many friends free rent for 2-3 years, yeah i know now that was stupid].My best friend was looking for a place to move and offered to pay me 300 more than what I had originally asked for. I was over joyed, filled with tears of relief.So i go home and let my bf know we have a taker, how she has offered to pay us generously, but has to split the payments throughout month. He had his reservations but said he'd need time to think about it. After a week or so my besty and her mom had a falling out, she came to our house and stayed on the couch for 1-2 weeks. We had a room in mind for her, but my bf had turned it into a shoe room/closet/Jordan collection. The night my besty came over after her parental fight, my bf stated he knew what it was like to beef, and understood the need to get out. Slowly she started moving her stuff in. She asked where she could put it. My bf was still being wishy washy about preparing the room and accepting that we have someone living with us again. He started making excuses that he had no where to move his clothes and shoes. I cleared out my mini closet, bookcases and another closet to help make him comfy with readjusting his stuff. After I spent hours making the space he (tipsy), said it was okay to move his stuff into the closet...so i did.After that he started screaming at me about everything related to my friend. My friend who helps me around the house, cooks for me, isn't an asshole and pays on time. He doesn't like her having her older friend with benefit come over to the house cause he says he doesn't like older men having sex in his house/he don't like the guy/he doesn't trust him/my besty/and etc.My friend helping me with this money has allowed us to get things, begin to catch up and avoid cancellations for a lot of stuff. But my boyfriend just realized that there was a split payment set up. My bf is known for jumping to conclusions and is easily aggrivatable. I know i didn't give him as much time as he'd like to acclimate to the idea, but it's not like I didn't listen to his input either. So now he's even more angry with me, he says I'm leaving him for her because i tend to make her more comfy, or so he says. He says I haven't made any sacrifices and he said he's been damnnear evicted. Is he tripping/being more difficult than necessary, or has the threat of poverty and destitution made me lose sight to respecting my bf's wishes. Please dispel my confusion
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best friend, disabled, lost his job, money, older men Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (3 April 2015):
 your boyfriend is being passive aggressive in not cleaning up the room.
if the house is owned by you or your mom then you tell him "you have ONE week to clean that room up or I will do it for you" then you do it.
IN addition if he lives with you at your (or your mom's) home then he has no say on who is allowed to come and go including your tenant's FWB unless her lease (written lease is best) says she can't have guests (which seems unfair to me)
Is anyone in this household working full time and being an adult?
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (3 April 2015):
 Whose house is it, yours, your disabled mother's or do you and your boyfriend share ownership?
I think you are being very careless with your assets, especially if you had an inheritance and lived off it until it was all gone.
What are you going to o to support yourself for the foreseeable future and beyond?
Your boyfriend is being unreasonable, if you have somebody willing to rent a room so that you can get income from it, and a non payer (your boyfriend) can no longer have that room for storage as a result then your boyfriend needs to suck it up.
What is he doing about finding further employment, what arrangements have you put in place to ensure he doesn't claim half that house some time down the track?
He needs to recognise that you need money coming in, more $$$ needs to come in than you have going out, you, if the house belongs to you, or your mother if the house is hers, need to seek some advise to make sure your home is secure, if your boyfriend is claiming he is being evicted over this you need to make sure he wont get vindictive if you ever (I know it may not happen) break up with him.
Get your house in order, get your agreement with your friend in writing, and one with your boyfriend, with you or your mother as the landlord, as well.
Start acting smart or it wont just be your inheritance you let slip through your fingers, with nothing to show for it ... and then get a job!
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