I am at the end of my rope and struggling with health and family problems.
Q. This isn't about a romantic relationship, but I am at the end of my rope. I desperately need help but I am petrified because it seems hopeless. Let me preface this by saying that I had an emergency surgery a few days ago... I am heavily medicate...
A. 7 January 2016: Let me play devil's advocate for a moment, I want to know what plans you have put in place for when the moment comes that you can no longer live with your mother, or run to her for comfort. Have you considered what you will do if she cannot be ... (read in full...)
My wife doesn't like the expensive present I got from a female co-worker. What should I do?
Q. Hi all Where I work, its mostly with women and as a result I am friendly and comfortable around women,although my wife isn't too happy about it.There's one particular girl who I work very closely with and I'll admit i get on particularly well wit...
A. 7 January 2016: You need to think about your priorities .....
grab a bit of paper, and a pen, and organise the following list in order of importance to you:
Aftershave purchased by acquaintance
Work colleague wife makes snide comments about
Wife
Your ma... (read in full...)
Should I leave my depressed first love?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for just under 2 years and I love him to the moon and back. He has severe depression and I feel it's rubbed off on me. I don't go out, I feel so bad about myself, I can't be bothered to get out of bed and I feel ...
A. 6 January 2016: What a horrible lifestyle you have allowed yourself to be drawn into. Your friends are right, nobody should be treated like this.
I need you to know that you DO have the courage to walk away, because you have already taken the first step in recog... (read in full...)
How do I handle moving in with a guy who has too much stuff?
Q. Dear Cupid, My boyfriend is 30 and I am 32. We are in a long distance relationship. He has a good job and a house he owns. He has lived on his own for 10 years and is used to his own space, never lived with a girlfriend before. He wants me to ...
A. 4 January 2016: If you move into his house without this issue being discussed or resolved you will simply become just another part of his "stuff".
He needs to recognise that you are part of a partnership .... and as such he needs to recognise your "stuff" ... (read in full...)
What can I do to make my LDR boyfriend trust me?
Q. I m in a relationship with this guy and it had been 2 years. We love each other More then our lives. This is a long distance relationship. He is really possessive. I don't use any social networking because of him and I m fine with it. I don't talk ...
A. 30 December 2015: You can't make him trust you. I am concerned that you are not talking to half the population at school and out of school (boys) because he doesn't like it.
I am also concerned that you do everything he tells you to do and yet he still doesn't ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend breaks up then texts me, wants to have sex and then blows me off!
Q. So my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me almost a month ago because he believed a relationship was not his best interest and I deserved better but still wanted us to be friends. It was a very emotional break up for the both of us. However, ...
A. 30 December 2015: He doesn't want to be friends with you, he wanted to have sex, and he sees remaining on a "friendly" basis with you as sex on tap when he wants it.
The fact he expected YOU to come over to is place for sex shows just how dumb he is, he didn't e... (read in full...)
Online dating and we clicked. But am I wasting my time?
Q. I met this guy online. We clicked and I enjoyed his conversation. Unfortunately, this man is 2800 miles away. After a couple weeks of phone conversation he decided that the distance was too much for him and that we could just remain as friends....
A. 29 December 2015: Don't have sex with him, if he persists remind him he is the one that has suggested you take things slowly.
2800 miles is a long way to go for a quick roll in the hay, and travelling that distance also makes it a very EXPENSIVE roll in the hay.... (read in full...)
I just want him to love and care about me but he never shows any emotion
Q. I'll try and explain this as simple as I can :) Right, am 29 years of age and when I was a little girl, I had a best friend who is a boy and we where the best of friends since the age of 6 up until we where 13, we had sleep overs, we where best fri...
A. 29 December 2015: He is not the person you want him to be, regardless of your childhood connection. He is what he is, emotionless, uncaring, and not interested in long deep and meaningfuls by text.
When you were in a relationship with him two years ago he told you... (read in full...)
Why can't I leave this pill popping pot smoking drunk?
Q. Hi everyone, I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost 3 years and he's a major pill addict and smokes pot and is an alcoholic. Trust me I had no idea he did all these things when we started dating. We now live together with my ...
A. 28 December 2015: The real questions are:
1. why have you moved in with him FIVE times? and
2. why do you expose your child to his behaviour? and finally,
3. how come it took five goes at living together for you to realise he popped pills, smoked pot and is an al... (read in full...)
Where do I stand in this? FWB but I get no respect and he insults me.
Q. Im a first year student who has got into a friends with benefits relationship with a guy who doesn't respect me. We had drunken sex in the first couple of weeks of university a few times, we then didn't see each other for a while but now it has s...
A. 28 December 2015: You say you don't know where you stand with him ...... you are somebody who is handy to have sex with, who still has sex with him if he slags you off or insults you ...
Which of the above are you going to miss? Being slagged off and treated ... (read in full...)
What can I say or do? My mother in law is driving me crazy and bankrupting us at the same time
Q. I am a 42 year old male who has been married for more than 20 years. I have always viewed my mother-in-law as meddlesome, but harmless. However, over the last 7 years (she is mid-70s now) she is experiencing signs of dementia. She can't pay ...
A. 27 December 2015: Your money is being used to support your mother in law so you have a say, however you and your wife need to be on the same page.
It is very generous of you to provide housing to your mother in law, rent free.
If she cannot manage to stay w... (read in full...)
Do I stay with my wife or go off with my soul mate?
Q. My question is should I stay with my wife and have a routine life or go and be with someone who I believe is my soulmate. I have tried hard to make my marriage work and my wife is a very decent person but I feel as though I am living with a sister ...
A. 24 December 2015: Oh, you and your wife have been arguing a lot these day. What a surprise!
It wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that you have been absent emotionally, sexually and spiritually for the past 18 months would it?
Oh woe, oh woe, oh poor you... (read in full...)
Confrontation. Was it right to not confront him? Does it seem as if I didn't stand up for myself?
Q. I dated a guy for 2 months then he stopped responding to my messages one day. I didn't confront him about it or anything, I was actually about to be going on a trip so I didn't have time for the drama. 2 weeks later while I'm on my trip he tells me ...
A. 23 December 2015: You have done the right thing, he is obviously a time waster. Block his number and profile on any social networking sites and move on.
If he contacts you again with silly excuses simply let him know you are not interested in flaky time wasters,... (read in full...)
I'm upset by this situation, why is he acting this way?
Q. I started to see Mr unavailable last year,he did then didn't want a relationship as can't form them due to every night in pub and just too selfish (his words). I told him we can be friends he admitted to loving me. I told him its too confusing and ...
A. 23 December 2015: Short answer: He is chucking a sad because he is not getting his way, block him and move on.
Longer answer: He has already told you he is not interested in a thinks relationship, he is telling you he loves you because he believes telling ... (read in full...)
Why doesn't she want to see the xmas party photos?
Q. I'm well over 50 and work with a lovely girl in her late 20s. We have always got along very well but due to the age gap and personal circumstances I've never made a pass at her and never would. I'm married and she has a long term boyfriend, who she ...
A. 20 December 2015: You appear to be assuming that, despite her plans to marry her long term boyfriend, if you decided to ignore your personal circumstances and made a pass at her that you would be "in like Flynn"
Guilt? Why should she be feeling guilty? Its poss... (read in full...)
My master manipulator sister is ruining our wedding plans and our life. Help!
Q. My sister is a master manipulator. Over the past year, since getting engaged, not only has she tried to get money out of me for stuff we borrowed, as well as bringing money for family suppers (instead of food), but she also has tried to interfere or ...
A. 15 December 2015: It seems the situation and your relationship your sister has deteriorated since you last wrote to Dear Cupid:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/manipulator-sisterat-my-wits-end-please-help.html
Did you consider that many of the problems between... (read in full...)
If nothing is changing on his part, then what do I do?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years. When he's not at work, he's either playing video games, watching sports, or with friends. This has become a problem in our relationship because we barely spend any quality time together. I've been to...
A. 14 December 2015: Get a piece of paper and write a list:
1. Accept he is not going change
2. Decide if you are happy to live like that for the rest of your life, or not
3. If you are happy for this to continue until you are old and grey with one foot in the ... (read in full...)
I want my house back! Relatives of my husband keep on visiting, and then they stay. Solutions please?
Q. My husband is originally from Spain but moved to the UK to be with me and he now has residency here and we are married and we bought a house together. What i'm finding really annoying is that members of his family (from Spain) keep coming over...
A. 13 December 2015: I very much doubt anybody is holding a gun to your head forcing you to provide laundry and ironing services to your (unwanted) guests.
Whose problem is it if, once you have shown people how to use your washer etc, they chose not to use them? No... (read in full...)
What do I do? I really want out at the moment but we have a lot of commitments.
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for about 4 years. We have recently had a child and are pretty settled but have had our arguments in the past. We were also seeing each other before the 4 years for maybe 4 months. Any way to the problem, maybe 3 ...
A. 11 December 2015: Where is the hate? I suspect you
are reading answers you did not want as "hate"
If you were asking the question to 'fix' the relationship, rather than end it, you would not have written this:
"What do i do? I really want out at the moment bu... (read in full...)
What do I do? I really want out at the moment but we have a lot of commitments.
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for about 4 years. We have recently had a child and are pretty settled but have had our arguments in the past. We were also seeing each other before the 4 years for maybe 4 months. Any way to the problem, maybe 3 ...
A. 11 December 2015: I get the feeling you are looking for an reason to get out of the relationship, and that you would prefer that reason to be something your partner did wrong ..... its much easier to leave if the "blame" can be apportioned anywhere but on ... (read in full...)
What do I do? I really want out at the moment but we have a lot of commitments.
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for about 4 years. We have recently had a child and are pretty settled but have had our arguments in the past. We were also seeing each other before the 4 years for maybe 4 months. Any way to the problem, maybe 3 ...
A. 11 December 2015: I get the feeling you are looking for an reason to get out of the relationship, and that you would prefer that reason to be something your partner did wrong ..... its much easier to leave if the "blame" can be apportioned anywhere but on ... (read in full...)
How do I know for sure if my suspicions that my boyfriend's younger sister is gay, and what should I do, or not do?
Q. Hi everyone My boyfriend has a 19 year old sister (I will just call her "Jane") and I have known her for many years but have recently realized something that is not quite normal about her. She is extremely pretty but has never had a boyfriend or e...
A. 10 December 2015: I have to admit I am a little perplexed by your questions, yes the girl might be gay, but then again she might not, and what you consider not normal is an opinion only, there are many and varied shades of normal.
The girl is 19, not a child, t... (read in full...)
He canceled our first date, hasn't rescheduled, what are his intentions?
Q. Me and this guy in one of my classes have been talking everyday after class for the past two and a half months. We talk a lot and he's really nice, I catch him staring at me a lot in class. I'm not sure if he's interested in me, but I am so I asked ...
A. 9 December 2015: He doesn't have any intentions, you have initiated plans enough, you now need to wait and see if he contacts you to do something this weekend, if he doesn't get in touch, then let it drop, you will know that he isn't interested or is just flaky.
... (read in full...)
He's going to lose me if he doesn't start showing some interest
Q. Recently my boyfriend hasn't shown much interest in myself or our relationship. I don't know why but I don't like the way he is. For example, I booked a table for two for us at a restaurant and he shown no interest, no thanks for booking it or an...
A. 9 December 2015: Only you can decide if the flirty banter goes too far or not, every now and then ask yourself "if I was in a relationship with this guy would I be worried about the level of flirtiness happening here?"
Always be respectful of other people's... (read in full...)
I felt betrayed when my best friend told my ex everything I'd said about him
Q. I have known my best friend for 9 years. I have told her things.. Very personal things, about my ex, our relationship, how I cheated on him, and that didn't want to be with him anymore . I trusted her with this information, and weeks later she told ...
A. 9 December 2015: She is not your best friend, her actions point that out quite clearly. Your feelings of betrayal are justified.
A best friend is somebody you can trust implicitly, this girl has proved herself to be untrustworthy.
Only you can decide if she ne... (read in full...)
How do I stop this man from criticizing my parenting?
Q. I have two older children for a previous relationship. I struggled like hell to bring them up as a single parent as their father was more interested in laying other women. While they were growing up I placed my self through university and then ...
A. 6 December 2015: Did this paragon raise his 'perfect' children or their mother?
How hands on has he been as a parent to the 13 year old you and he share? How much does he contribute to the home to ensure his child and the child's mother have a roof over their he... (read in full...)
I'm angry that my partner returned the iPhone he found to its owner
Q. What would you do if you found a I phone? My partner found one by his car and it belonged to a woman because it had a case with flowers on to protect it and a photo of her and her fella. My partner said to see if she rang for her phone and if...
A. 30 November 2015: What would I do if I found an I phone?
I would do as your boyfriend did, try and return it, or hand in to nearest police station. Your boyfriend is an honest man, I believe most people are honest and would try and return it.
If I had lost... (read in full...)
New baby, but he will not lift a finger to help in any way. What can I do?.
Q. Hi everyone I have been with my boyfriend 3 years we had a bavy girl 10 months ago I have now realised how lazy my boyfriend is he does nothing to help me with our daughter even after a emergency c section I have done everything I clean the ho...
A. 23 November 2015: Effectively you are doing the work of a single mum, but with an extra person to cook for and clean up after.
The easiest way to lessen your workload would be to tell the boyfriend to move on out until he is ready to step up and be a fully particip... (read in full...)
Has he lied to me again about what he really said to this girl?
Q. I posted here last week about my boyfriend allowing this girl to pick off off his plate, take the cherry from his drink etc. Both myself and boyfriend's sister in law spoke to him telling him it's wrong, that he shouldn't have allowed it. He said ...
A. 17 November 2015: Your boyfriend needs to stop her doing this, I still say next time it happens just get up and walk out.
If that doesn't make him take action, then he isn't worth keeping around.
... (read in full...)
Has he lied to me again about what he really said to this girl?
Q. I posted here last week about my boyfriend allowing this girl to pick off off his plate, take the cherry from his drink etc. Both myself and boyfriend's sister in law spoke to him telling him it's wrong, that he shouldn't have allowed it. He said ...
A. 17 November 2015: Show him the message. Tell him you don't care what he said to her, or what she said to him, but the next time she picks food off his plate, or cherries from his drink you will be walking.
And do it, you don't need to say anything, you just pic... (read in full...)
She wants him back and he still visits his ex!
Q. My boyfriend of 2 years is still friends with his ex which he periodically goes and sees. I have never had a problem with this... until he asked her if he could bring me over with him. She said no and that HE was always welcome but not me. Ive do...
A. 16 November 2015: I agree this is disrespectful, but have you thought about what you will do if you tell him not to visit her anymore but he still does?
This woman is playing some sort of power game, and your boyfriend is letting her .... is his behaviour a deal b... (read in full...)
Why does my ex want to be friends with me and still want me in his life? He treated me very badly.
Q. My ex use to manipulate me a lot! I felt used, was treated badly and finally walked away after a terrible breakdown from the relationship. My ex tried to reach out to me many times and I ignored him. we didn't talk for 3 years. But we made up t...
A. 15 November 2015: He is still manipulating you. Break all contact, block his number, block him on all social networking sites, don't take his calls nor check out his facebook.
What you are holding onto is but a dream or a wish, the reality of him is nothing ... (read in full...)
Am I doing the right thing by putting my career before this man that I love?
Q. Is it real or is it craziness? I have dated this man off and on for many years. The first few years, we only went out a couple of times, and I didn't think he was really interested in me. But he kept in touch with me. He always told me that he ...
A. 15 November 2015: What happens if you decide to move, marriage? Living together? Full on commitment of some sort?
How often has he said he loves you? Has he been to visit you in the past 7 months? Is he committed to you, or does he just want you to move back so ... (read in full...)
He's driving me crazy. Am I the toxic one ? how can I save this distrustful relationship?
Q. My boyfriend is making me really anxious and making me feel like I'm losing my mind. I recently posted a question on here about how my boyfriend has hurt me emotionally by spending our money on porn. 2 months later I found a naked pic of a girl on ...
A. 14 November 2015: Who says you HAVE to get up and make his breakfast?
Don't make his breakfast, tell him he is big enough, and ugly enough to make his own breakfast. Don't make his breakfast.
Okay, now that I have that off my chest, lets look at some of your ... (read in full...)
Does my wife really not remember what she did with past Boyfriend?
Q. Hello All, I have been with with my wife for 15 years together for 20. A couple of years into our marriage, we got on the topic of past lovers. My wife had 1 boyfriend who she never had sex with, but they did fool around with oral and touching. Th...
A. 11 November 2015: I've been married twice, now single, kids with both husbands, cannot for the life of me remember anything significant about the first one, I doubt I would even recognise him if we passed in the street ......
I cant remember doing the deed wit... (read in full...)
How could he treat me like a queen and then block me from facebook and act like I did something wrong?
Q. On and off since HS my friend and I have always been good friends. We may go a few years and not see each other but when we do we talk and catch up. After 30 years he invited me to visit him. I did and we had the best time. Laughing, talking and ...
A. 8 November 2015: You called him out and showed him for the man he is, a player who likes to have lots of women.
You did the right thing, not the wrong thing.... (read in full...)
Ideas to raise money for skin removal surgery
Q. I'm a young woman who has lost a little over 200 pounds over the last few years. The frustrating and sad part is I have a lot of loose skin that's very bothersome. I was hopeful and even excited to talk with my doctor and a surgeon in the a...
A. 8 November 2015: I saw a video on facebook earlier today of a young man who had lost a huge amount of weight, he was asking for help for skin removal on gofundme. You would get more help if you are willing to post some before and after pics, but it might be an ... (read in full...)
I made a mistake, hurt my friend and now I don't know how to make things right!
Q. Hey what's up guys, Kind of messed things up with a friend of mine. She asked me a question last night saying do guys know when girls are wearing too much makeup? And I said I think so, and she proceeded to show me a picture and said do you thin...
A. 8 November 2015: Okay, here goes.
She set you up a little bit, by not letting you know straight up that it was a picture of her, I do wish people didn't feel the need to do that!!
However, she did it, and you fell into a hole over it, and need to find a way to... (read in full...)
Is it OK to get back in contact with my ex - and offer to just be friends?
Q. I'm happy in my relationship now but miss my ex, as a person, not who I want to get back with. Is it OK to get back in contact to be friends or not? He's the only other person I've been in love with and after 3 years I still can't get him out of m...
A. 7 November 2015: He is the only other person you have been in love with, and you can't get him out of your head?
Sounds like you are still hankering for him to me, and as more than a friend, leave the past in the past, and concentrate on the relationship you have... (read in full...)
I'm a selfish idiot but one who needs help!!
Q. I got married when I was 19 and had two kids by the time I was 22. Also divorced at 22. Rebounded into a relationship with the wrong person for a year and then met my ex 3 years ago. I was 24 she was 19.She is beautiful and has a huge heart. She ...
A. 7 November 2015: If you are here looking for advise on how to get this girl to take you back into her life you are wasting your time, as she said, its too late, and good on her for having the nous to recognise that fact!
No nonsense Aiden has some very good tip... (read in full...)
Manipulator sister...at my wits end. Please help!
Q. I have a long-winded problem that I need an outside eye to help me figure out how to be on equal and better terms with my sister. The past year has been a rollercoaster of incidents, one after another with her, and I want off. Growing up, we w...
A. 5 November 2015: First up, stop listening to your niece, how old is she anyway, you refer to her as "cute" so I am assuming old enough to be listening in on adult conversations but too young to know to not repeat!! I am also interested to know how YOU know your ... (read in full...)
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