A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I started seeing a medical specialist recently. I've been struggling with all sorts of problems ever since we (my husband and I) moved to another country and I asked for help as soon as I could afford it.One of my biggest problems (and my husband's too) is that I cannot find any friends. Some of our old friends live all over the globe but most of them have stayed in our country of origin. We are cut off.When we got here we were already in our 30's and most of the people we meet have simply no room for us (I don't know how else to put it). We mingled, tried to meet new people... and nothing would stick.We mostly hang out with other foreigners, but most of them leave/move sooner or later.As if we're out of tune with our surroundings, constantly running late, missing our train or ending up in the wrong compartment.We've tried signin up for different activities, went to clubs... we met some interesting people, but as I said they have no "vacancies". They already have freinds to go on holidays with, play cardss on Sunday, go hiking.I love my husband and we're really happy that we found each other some 15 years ago, but it is weird that on most days, apart from colleagues we meaningfully talk only to each other, as if we were on a deserted island.Our friends who have emigrated as well are facing with the same problems. It simply is hard. I'd like to somehow change this... I just don't know how.... I hope that it is still possible...Thanx.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAunty Bim Bim thanx for answering... my shrink pointed out that both of us have chosen pretty solitary actvities. But you're right, we could find some groups and go to classes.
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (7 May 2015):
 Its great that you write and your husband does woodwork, at home, alone ..........
Attending a class or a community group offering these will bring you into contact with other people, potential friends.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for your ideas! I laughed because I'm a writer (in my spare time ;) and my husband is a woodturner (in his pare time).I can talk to friends by Skype... but it doesn't solve the problem of having no freinds here where I live. Believe me it sucks.I haven't tought about meeting friends online. Some of the people we know here use Internet to meet potentia gf/bf but never friends.I'll check out local schools and our library. Funny thing is... I used to do most of those things (volunteering at the zoo, helping elderly neighbors...) in my hometown. I just hit a wall here.And one more thing, having troubles finding friends can be as stigmatizing as being single. Other people who haven't got that problem can look a bit down on you.. oh well...And I'm grateful for my husband every single moment... we're not perfect but we're perfectly compatible :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2015): Check out Meet Up groups online. They are great for meeting local people etc. Good luck.x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2015): Time to stop digging holes in yourselves about "no friends"...what ever happened to skype..surely you can contact your old friends that way and have a good meaningless chatter about their lives? Many people have no time at all for any kind of meaningful chatter at all...so dont look down on yourself if you can talk to your husband...be thankful!
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (5 May 2015):
Volunteer ......... find a thrift store, your local museum, cover books at the school library, see if your primary school needs people to listen to kids read, or if they have kids who need some one on one interaction, volunteer at your nearest seniors centre, some people are just needing a fresh face to talk to, do you have any skills you can pass on, is there a neighbourhood centre, volunteer at a pet shelter, find an elderly neighbour and take them to do their grocery shopping on a weekly or fortnightly basis, what about a book club at your local library, does the library conduct special events, author talks, arty movies etc?
Go to night school, learn a skill such as woodworking or short story writing. There are other people at all these places, and while some of these activities might not be for you, some of them might, give it a try, its a great way to meet new people, learn about different people, and will help get you out of your rut.
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