A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Is it healthy for a boyfriend to ask his girlfriend about her past in such details so as to know (for example) how large another man was, how he made her reach orgasm, how strong the orgasms were with other men, or how long they would go down on her for?
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female
reader, a_seidner06 +, writes (3 February 2009):
 He is probably self concious about his sexual performance, my exes asked that also but i really didnt get too detailed. Just tell him, "Babe, i will let you know what to do if you arent pleasuring my well enough". Sometimes you have to take control to get yours, if you know what i mean.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2009): Thank you for all of the feedback, I would like to clarify that he uses it as information against me. I am very complimentary of him in bed and let him know what pleases me. But what he does is use information about past boyfriends against me to make me feel like I am dirty and to tell me that I am a wh*re despite my telling him how it hurts me when he asks questions that are so personal to me, but I answer them out of respect to him, and then he turns around and does that to me. Please!!! help me understand more!! Thank you so much!
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A
female
reader, aunty_rach  +, writes (3 February 2009):
he sounds insecure. i used to date a guy who was similar, but instead of always asking about the ex, he would always want me to compare him and the ex. however i refused and i got so sick of it i ditched him. you need to tell him it is bothering you and he needs to stop, as it's the past.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2009): I agree with Kelly. That isn't normal for a man to focus on what other men did with the lady he is currently with.
He should be more focused with what he does, and how he himself can better improve himself sexually and mentally when he is with her. Not what other men have done with her.
But, then again maybe it is a fetish, or a turn on for him. If you are comfortable with it then feel free to answer.
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (3 February 2009):
 Sounds to me like he is a little unsure of himself, and that he wants to know what pleased you in the past and the standard that he has to meet to be at the level of your passed lovers. To know what makes your girlfriend happy is a very handy thing to know.... I wish my wife had come with a user manual, it would have made life so much easier!
Just because I guy asks odd questions doesn't mean he's some kind of pervert. I agree with Emilyanswers, ask him why he wants to know, but be prepared to reassure him rather than be shocked at his filthy fetish!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2009): Sorry, I should have said that at first he explains that he just wants to understand my past. So, I tell him. He then uses it against me to (at certain times) tell me that I'm a wh*re. When I tell him that I am not, and that he has been with 7 times more women than I have been with men, he tells me that it's because he is a "man" so it is acceptable but that he finds it unacceptable that he is dating someone like me.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (3 February 2009):
It could be curiosity, it could just be his little fetish to imagine you with other guys, or it could be jealousy and obsessive behaviour.
You don't say how he reacts when you tell him / refuse to talk about it.
You will be able to tell a lot about his reason for asking by his reaction.
Or just ask him to give you a good answer to the question "why do you want to know?" and then you'll give him a good answer to one of his questions.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, kellyxxx +, writes (3 February 2009):
 no, instead of focusing on other men he should focus on what he does and how he can improve. he probably lacks self confidence so tell him what you like about what he does but tell him how you feel when he asks you about other men. keep me updated.xx
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