A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:How do I tell a guy after I have dated him six times, had sex with on the sixth date, and want to have sex with again, that I want to be monogamous while we are in this level of the relationship? It's an ex post facto thing and, although specifically monogamy was not discussed, he is aware that I am not a game player, do not have sexual flings, and monogamy is a must for me from my online dating profile, which he has used as a reference to learn about me and used to plan great dates. He is utterly a gentleman in other respects and I don't want him to feel cornered but I feel uneasy and don't know how to approach it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWow. Thank you all for the thoughtful replies. Getting the male perspective makes a lot of difference. To anonymous male; he does have money and has made a point to express his successes, takes me on lovely, thoughtful dates dates based on what I enjoy (and he enjoys too) and the energy between us has been electric on all counts. I was reckless to have not brought it up before the actual seduction and I take full responsibility for that. I don't know why talking about intimacy was more difficult than the actual act, esp given our ages and sophistication. To army medic: I got from you that it's not only women who want to know where they stand but my experience with him has been based on six dates over a two month period. he travels a lot for his business (and I know this to be a fact) and, although he always calls me in proper time to ask me out and follows up each dates with a great phone call, there is nothing in between, no emails, casual calls, text messages, which makes me feel kept at arms length to a degree.So my needing to know where I stand seems to be more of an issue. To gina; I liked the way you put it.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2009): A gentleman would take it as read, you only sleep with one person at a time.
You are on to a loser i'm afraid.
Good luck
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic  +, writes (3 February 2009):
 I think you are both old enough to have a serious adult conversation, you have already been as intimate as you can by having sex with him.
Come on you aren't a teenager, be up front and honest about it. As you say he is a gentleman and I know as a bloke I like to know exactly where I stand in a relationship.
Good luck
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