A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi So my boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. We have had alot of rough patches mostly because he's always asking me for financial help. Today however, I found out he's lied about his age for 3 years. He told me he was 5 years older than he was. I feel like I can't trust him and don't really know him. I'm not sure I can get past this. Any advice? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2022): Hi! This answer is a bit late. I think that you should talk things about with him and ask him why he lied. If there were any red flags in your relationship, like him constantly asking for money (aka financial help) or something, then he was just using you. But if he's truly a good man, I say that you keep him. Just remember this: don't think that he's THE ONE because you're definitely not going to fall in love once. There are better guys out there, and you still have time to meet the one for you.
-Seaweed chip
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2022): Your bf has been trying to mooch off you for the past 3 years....and you what you worry about, is his lie about his age ??
Well, I guess that you and I have very different priorities then .Not that he was right in fibbing about his age , lies are never right...but ,let's face it, there are lots of people who do ( although often say they are younger, not older).While 3 years of wanting your financial help ,thanks God that's rather unusual.
Do not get past this. It is as good a reason as any other one to get rid of a laser.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 June 2022):
 "We have had alot of rough patches mostly because he's always asking me for financial help."
I know it's a "thing" these days for (some) men to live off women and I don't get it. Where is their pride? Their drive? Wanting to succeed? Be self-sufficient?
While people can argue about the pay-gap, the reality is that women quite often choose careers that pay LESS. And then on top, some have to be financially responsible for a partner too?
If he lives with you go file to evict him and tell him to pack his stuff and get out.
He isn't going to change. He is STILL asking you to fund his life after 3 years. He will keep doing that as long as you GIVE him money and/or stay with him.
What is wrong with him that he has to ASK you for financial help?
Is he physically incapable of getting a job? Keep a job?
His financial situation is NOT your responsibility. NOR would YOUR financial situation be HIS responsibility. You ARE just dating! There should be absolutely NO shared finances here. NONE.
Think about it, ALL that money you have "lend him" or "gifted him" could have been in your saving account. Saving up for a house, new car, a rainy day for YOU, a vacation, etc. The possibilities are endless here.
He lied about his age, because most people would PRESUME that a guy his age has his shit together. Instead, what does he do? USE you for financial stability.
What else has he lied about? My guess is a LOT. Or perhaps he has "omitted" things to make him seem like a better "catch" than he really is.
Throw this one back in the pond and find yourself someone who is trustworthy, stable, independent!
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (25 June 2022):
 You cant trust him. If he lied about his age what else did he lie about? It may not be a big deal in all honesty but the seed of doubt has been planted and you cant shake it.Its sad to walk away from a 3 year relationship but that would be the smart move.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (25 June 2022):
 In the grander scheme of things, I would say age isn't crucial. HOWEVER, you have already had 3 years of "rough patches" due to his entitled behaviour towards you.
Only you can decide what is a deal breaker for you but, if you are going to question everything he says in the future, then what sort of future is that going to be for you? A future of constant fighting over money and mistrust?
Sister, you deserve better. Dump him and move on.
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