A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi guys, hoping for some advice. I’ve been friends with a guy for a few years and do really like him deep down but I’m really shy so never had the guts to properly make a move so we've always just been good friends. I’m 99% sure he likes me too. One thing we have in common is a passion for travelling, particularly around Asia. I can remember chatting for hours and hours with him about it one night on Facebook. He’s said many times that WE should go together but I could never tell if he was being serious or not. But last week he told me he was going to do it next year; Vietnam, Thailand, Laos, Cambodia, Burma, India and Sri Lanka over the course of 6 months. And he’s invited me to go with him. He said he couldn’t think of anyone he’d rather experience it with. Whilst I’m flattered and of course more than tempted to fulfil a life-long dream and ambition I am worried about it all going wrong.I know most people would say just do it as friends and nothing else, but I think by spending so much time together it’s inevitable we’ll end up in each other’s arms. I want it to happen don’t get me wrong because there's clearly a spark between us. I mean just last week on a night out with friends I wanted to snog his face off so bad and drag him off to bed with me. But I just couldn't muster up the courage to try it on with him. We flirt ALL the time as well. I’m just concerned that if it doesn’t work out it could ruin the whole experience and taint it. I mean what if we end up splitting up halfway through the trip? We couldn’t carry on travelling together and I definitely couldn’t do the remainder on my own. The idea of travelling alone in a foreign country just scares me so I’d need him by my side the whole time. I don’t know if I’m just over thinking things though and should just go for it. I mean I know him properly as a person and he ticks every box for me so why wouldn’t it work out?Thoughts?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2022): I agree with YouCannotBeSerious, you're overthinking and just assuming the worse case scenario. Even if it did happen, it'd be better than just not going at all. Imagine looking back in 20 years time and thinking about how you'd passed up on an incredible opportunity like this. It'd be so much worse than actually going and something like that happening. Again looking back in 20 years time you might think it was unfortunate that you had a messy break up but then at the same time you'd surely appreciate whatever experience and memories you got out of it beforehand.
One thing that is pretty obvious is that you need to bite the bullet and make it clear to him how you feel. You've known him years, fancy him like mad, flirt all the time and have an obvious spark. Just tell him, it's clear that he feels the same about you. I know it's hard when you're naturally shy but sometimes to get what you truly want in life you have to push yourself and step out of your comfort zone.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (31 August 2022):
 Oh sweetheart, you can't go through life afraid to do things just because something may go wrong. There is ALWAYS a chance something can go wrong, with ANYTHING.
You have known this guy for years so you have had chance to assess his character. You know you like him, and feel he likes you. (Let's face it, he would not have asked you to join him on his travels if he didn't like you.)
Yes, something COULD go wrong. One of you could get taken ill. You could have a fall out. Other things may happen. HOWEVER, think of what could go RIGHT.
If you don't go on this trip, will you get another chance to fulfil your dream?
In your shoes I would save like mad for the time you have and make sure you have sufficient money in your bank account to get home from anywhere on your travels in case of an emergency.
That aside, I would start preparing for what could be the trip of a lifetime.
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (30 August 2022):
 Honestly?
I'd hold off on the dating if you want to travel with him around Asia for 6 months. You don't want to be left in a country where you don't speak the language because you two had a lover's tiff.
Backpacking for 6 months will give you a GREAT insight into the guy and IF he is BF material.
" I mean what if we end up splitting up halfway through the trip?"
That could happen regardless. Being friends or lovers.
Personally? I wouldn't travel with a potential love interest. I'd travel with someone or a GROUP of someones I KNEW I could trust.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2022): You have to go on a proper date together. He asked you to go on a six month travel, I think that pretty much indicates there is a romantic-interest in there somewhere; but you're waiting for him to sky-write it across the big blue sky, or hold up a sign above his head.
He is waiting for you to acknowledge where you want to take it. You will have to learn to deal with rejection, or being told what kind of an interest a guy has in you; or you will always be hanging by a crush. You're mature enough to use your words and express your thoughts. He is throwing all sorts of cues and clues, and you're waiting for...exactly what are you waiting for?!!
Tell the guy you think you should date properly before taking trips to foreign lands together. If it is done as friends, are you satisfied with that? If not, let him know that you won't be taking that trip with him. Trips like that have to be planned well in advance; and it wouldn't be wise to be traveling with a guy you hardly know. Even it he is only a friend.
Shy is for children. Time to grow-up and let menfolk know if you're interested or not. If you like to explore romance with him, poop or get off the pot. Tell him!
I don't recommend going on such an extensive travel; unless you know him well enough to have a little trust in his character.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2022): testing
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