A
male
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:There’s this boy I like, let’s call him M. I met him through social media a year ago, and even if we live 400 km apart, I’ve managed to see him in person twice. We have talked a lot and have also sent nudes to each other. Then there is this other boy called K who likes M. He asked him out two months ago and M declined, but a week ago they had sex. The thing is that M described their sexual intercourse as an accident, which doen’t make sense to me since M was the one who asked K to meet at his place and they stayed together for 5 hours. You don’t accidentally have sex with someone for 5 hours. K felt sad due to how M treated their relationship since K really likes M and he does not want a relationship with him atm. The thing is that K asked M if he wanted to be more than friends in the future, which M answered by saying that it might be possible. This is important because if M said that he would never date him, K wouldn’t have had sex with him. That makes me think that M is unsure about his feelings or that he just said that in order to have sex with him.I’m seeing M in about a week and asked me if I wanted to stay at his place if his parents weren’t at home… The thing is that seeing how M is very unclear about his feelings with K, I don’t want to experience that. I mean, I don’t want to mess around with him and develop a crush, since it seems that M likes getting other people’s hopes up and then acting just as friends. Maybe it’s all a misunderstanding and M is not like that, but my heart tells me I shouldn’t trust him. K decided to give him a second chance since M sort of sweet talked to him.Is it a bad idea to stay at his place? Will he toy with me like he has with K?
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female
reader, mystiquek  +, writes (27 July 2022):
 Steer clear of him unless you just want some fun because he is a player and doesnt care about anything but having fun. He will use you and throw you aside like yesterdays trash if you allow him to do so. He wont treat you any differently than he did your friend.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (27 July 2022):
 Most of us have gut instincts, which are there to protect us. You appear to have a reasonably sound gut instinct so trust it. When you say "my heart tells me I shouldn’t trust him", that's actually your gut instinct telling you to keep away - for your own good.
Be thankful this guy showed his true colours up front by treating someone else badly and don't become another of his victims. You deserve better.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2022): You don't accidently have sex at all - whether it is for five hours or five seconds. OR a sexy chat online. None of it is an accident. He is looking for regular sex, you won't be any use to him, he wants someone more available and nearer. The best you will get is that he let you visit (that is big of him) so that you can deliver him free sex now and then. You do all of the travelling, you have all the hassle and spend all the money on petrol or whatever, he just sits and waits until his free sex turns up. Nice for him. If he rang a local professional they would charge him so much an hour to do the same thing, and they would not bother to travel so far!
You might as well turn this into your paid job if you are that easy and willing and stick to local customers.
He is not looking to date. He is not looking to fall in love. Just sex. And all on his terms with you doing all the chasing and hard work. Even if he had said he would travel to you he would have been doing well out of it, but you going to him is - taking the mickey.
As for showing naked pics of yourself to guys, they will then see you as a sexual convenience, not someone to date.
You are coming across as very easy and the local bike.
So you cannot expect them to take you seriously then or try hard.
There is a saying. If you lie with dogs you get fleas.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (27 July 2022):
 Exactly this,
"You don’t accidentally have sex with someone for 5 hours."
OP, you know what's up here. M might like you but you live far away and he wants intimacy/sex on the regular and with a distance of 400 KM it's just not viable with you.
If I were you I wouldn't go visit. Or M might "accidentally" have sex with you too and then NOT want to date you because you live so far away.
M is playing the field. He isn't looking for a long-term relationship, he is looking for bed-fellows.
You can be a notch in his bedpost or wish him well.
K is going to get used again. And so will any other guy who WANTS a relationship with M until M WANTS a real relationship. For now, he doesn't. And that is fair enough he just shouldn't sweet-talk guys into having sex when he KNOWS they want more than that.
Maybe you should look a bit closer to home for someone to date? Someone you can see more often and get to know IN person.
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