A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I (33F) met my dream man (40M) in a dating app. He ticked all the boxes and I was smitten. We went on 3 dates and had sex twice. I never had sex before with anyone outside of an exclusive committed relationship so he was special to me. I know he is in demand and has a lot of options. We saw each other every week for 3 weeks and he was texting me everyday. I thought things were going well but he stopped texting me the day after our last night together (our second time to have sex). After that, the energy shifted and I haven't heard from him. I reached out for small talk after a week and he responds to my texts politely and in a friendly way but never hang out again. After 2 weeks I sent another text and asked to hang out and he gave me a vague "soon" answer. I am completely crushed since I felt like he is the one for me and he is the best person I met in all my years using dating apps. It's been 1 month since our last date when he ghosted me but I am still pining for him and just desperately want him to come back. I became attached and wasn't ready for the rug to be pulled so quickly from underneath me. Everytime I try to initiate texts he responds politely but no more dates. I tried to go out with others but they dont compare and I want to see him again.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2022): I'm going to try to be real and hopefully helpful.
Just because you think he's perfect for you doesn't mean he feels the same way about you! Unfortunately, he doesn't.
I think you have two options: give up and try to forget him, or ask if you can be friends in the hope that in the future he will catch feelings for you.
Best of luck!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2022): You describe a man who is conceited, distant and selfish. Not sure how he ticks any of the boxes let alone all of them. You threw yourself at him end he enjoyed it but you were a pushover so the thrill wore off. Girls of sixteen know better than to do this why don't you? To him you are just a blow up doll when he is frustrated and got nothing better to do, that is the only reason he still responds to your messages. Why can you not figure this out for yourself it is so so obvious.
As for him having great options elsewhere, oh dear. Do you really believe this? If it were true he would be too busy with those options to meet you in the first place? No guy meets up with some woman he does not know in the HOPE she is an easy lay, in the hope she is quick and free, in the hope she is good looking and young and willing, if he had anyone like that already he would have gone to her instead.
You are very naive and gullible. Guys who are great at getting women and have a good sex life dont spend hours on dating apps looking! They would be too busy meeting up with their victims and enjoying them!
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (23 July 2022):
 As with many of these posts, I have a question of my own: how do you know "he is in demand and has a lot of options"? If he made this clear to you, that should have rung deafening alarm bells in itself.
You say you had sex with him because he was "special" but, ironically, I suspect that will have given him the impression YOU were not - because you were willing to have sex so casually with someone you had just met. I know nothing about the man obviously (although I suspect I can guess a lot more about him more accurately than you worked out because I am not looking through "love spectacles") but you really cannot decide, after a couple of casual dates and a couple of sex sessions, that this man is "the one". That is just preposterous. You fell for the dream you had woven around him, not for a real man.
As he has not ghosted you completely but still answers texts without committing to anything else, he is quite obviously keeping you on the back burner in case he is ever at a loose end and wants to have a dead cert in reserve because, let's face it, if he rang you tomorrow and said "let's have sex", you would be there so quickly, you would leave skid marks. The longer he plays you, the less you will value yourself and the more willingly you will sell yourself cheap. YOU ARE WORTH BETTER THAN THIS.
My advice - which you will probably ignore - is to block and delete him and move on with your life. Stop dating desperately like you are doing. Give yourself chance to get over this madness you feel towards this player (because it really is madness), then brush yourself down and start again. Next time you find someone you like, take it steady and don't jump into bed with them. If they are right for you, they will wait.
Chin up. This is not the end of the world. Honestly.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 July 2022):
 OP
You don't know the guy. You met him on a dating app. He might have lied about EVERYTHING, so saying he "ticked all your boxes" is well, a little silly. Because no, you can't know that ANYTHING he told is true. OR you have a very short "list".
He is off to "greener pastures" OR his wife/GF got suspicious.
You were an "easy" conquest.
My advice? Stop being so desperate and read the writing on the wall. He wanted to have some sex with you and a few dates but other than that? He isn't into you. I don't say that to be mean but to have you wake up and smell the coffee.
BLOCK him, DELETE him and MOVE on. NEXT time you meet a man, TAKE your time before getting in bed with them. GET to know them IN person.
Also, get an STI test done. If this dude goes around screwing ALL the ladies he can, he might have an STI or two.
With the whole Monkeypox going around how can you be so casual about sex with an ALMOST stranger?
You are 33! not 17.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2022): You'll have to keep pining until you get-over him. Why bother wasting your feelings on someone who isn't reciprocating those feelings? You want him back? That doesn't matter unless he wants to comeback.
I suspect this is what he's going to do. He will leave you hanging, and when he thinks you've starved and craved enough; he'll call out of the blue. It will only be a booty call; but like far too many females, you will welcome him back with open-arms. He will be sweet, get the sex, and he'll pull his player-moves again and again and again.
Move on, my dear. If you keep trying to contact him; that constitutes harassment. Get a hold of yourself, maintain your dignity. He's a player, and they have smooth moves. Giving him some benefit of the doubt, he may have realized he's not the right-guy for you; and decided you're falling too quickly, and he removed himself for your sake.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2022): Testing
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2022): You made yourself too available too quickly, the novelty wore off. You were not dating him, a few meets is not dating,you slept with him and gave him what he wanted and he moved on. Y
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