A
female
age
26-29,
*ocker_grl_96
writes:Sooo I really like this guy I have been friends with since kindergarden. We have always been friends but in the last few years he's become my closest guy friend, we know more about each other than a lot of people do. Recently-ish he broke up with his girlfriend cause of multiple reasons, one of which that he liked some girl he works with. Well then the other day he was saying that we should hang out so after he got off work at 9:00pm he came and picked me up and we went to his house. I ended up staying there til about 3am anyway while I was there we were listening to old records and just talking about anything and everything (one of the many things I love about him, that we are so comfortable. Well while we were laying there we were really close and we had each others legs and arms kinda over lapping on eachother. That was fine and dandy until one the times he would playfully rest his hands on my breast and act like he had no clue. After I few times I told him I knew he was doing it and I didn't mind. Then he got his face super close to mine and out lips were barely grazing each others but not losing and while this happened he started to touch and play with my breast over my shirt, after a while he moved under it but we still weren't kissing. I wanted to but I was afraid he didn't because he likes or liked the coworker or whatever. And I thought if he did want to he would have already. Moments later he did kiss me but we didnt really make out, cause there was no tounge. Well through all this I was ecstatic floating on freaking cloud 9. But then after that he was like jits late I need to get you home and stopped. for a minute there I thought we might go all the way which I was okay with but he I am a virgin and he's notso I don't know if that's what scared him into stopping or if he's hung up on that girls or if I did something wrong. Because while he was touching me although it felt amazing I don't actually know if my nipples got hard so if they didn't I feel like he might have thought I didn't like it so that might be why he stopped. Now I want to just text him and talk to him all the time even more but I don't want him to think I am being clingy. What should I do? Its not like we are even dating so idk how to handle this whole thing. Please help :(
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2014): You're young and your hormones are at fever-pitch! You think you're spending time with a guy you're really familiar with. He pretty much has a womanizing personality,
because he'll drop one woman for the other. Now you're letting yourself be a quick-stop on the highway. Don't let a heated moment take your friendship out of context. I think you're going to end-up getting your feelings hurt.
He says the thing with the girl didn't workout, or she didn't like him that way. You might be pretty naive; but he actually dumped his girlfriend for someone who didn't really like him that way?!! That's either pretty calloused or down-right stupid! Now he's groping and fondling a friend; because she's female. Under the pretense he needed you over to comfort him as if he was getting over something.
He's a dick, and you got played. He's pretending to be heart-broken, and you think he's hot for you. He sees you as just another vagina and pair of boobs he can set aside when he wants to fool-around. You'll see. Your raging hormones tell you it all felt good; but wait until your heart and brain catch up with you. It won't feel so good anymore.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (18 August 2014):
 But SHE turned him down. Had it been for him, they would be dating. If he is single, he is single by default, and it does not mean that he actually likes YOU instead of her ( or of the next girl he chances into ).
You say you did not like the title and that's not the issue , so please tell us what the real issue, I am not sure I got it either.
You liked it when he fondled you and ....? Are you asking what you should do now ?
It all depends from what YOU want.
The guy was happy, obviously, to cop a feel, and to have a little casual session of skin-to-skin. Maybe he was paving his way for something more the next time, but all in all it does not sound he is that bothered, he likes another girl ( whom he does not date because SHE does not want him ), never asked you out , never said anything about dating you, does not do much for you or about you other than swapping occasional texts, big deal- he may be doing that with half the female population of his town.
He had YEARS to develop feelings for you, he hasn't , it sounds like he took you out of the friendzone temporarily because he was horny.
Are you OK with that, do you want some casual fun, some random " hanging out " like you just did ?. If you are fine with that , go ahead , I 'm sure he'd be game.
If you instead are saying that you are getting attached, that you are falling for him, that you'd want to be dating him.... then , instead, you need to back off- so off that you are out of his picture. It really does not sound as if he is willing to give you what you want, so do not be setting yourself up for heartbreak and trouble.
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A
male
reader, Forge  +, writes (18 August 2014):
 I'm with WiseOwlE on this one, but from a different perspective. I've been this guy. I got involved with 2 girls, almost at the exact same time (a 2 day margin between breaking up and getting another) and the entire school knew about it. It was the kind of rep I didn't want, so I dumped the second girl (having dumped the first a while ago, as stated) and get even more wrecked. Now the second girl calls me at least once a week asking to hang out, and I say no. I want to distance myself from her.
You should put some distance between yourself and your friend. You said you didn't care that he was touching you, and he continued. (By the way, it's still making out, tongue or not, depending on how you do it or the duration).
Guys like him (and me) are heart breakers, but at least I pulled my head out of my ass soon enough.
You're playing with a rattlesnake here, so tread lightly. Or don't tread at all.
-Førg€-
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A
female
reader, rocker_grl_96 +, writes (18 August 2014):
rocker_grl_96 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Well shorty after he broke up with the girlfriend for the other girl she said she didn't like him like that so they never actually dated nor do they intend to.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2014): You might like what he did, but did you forget he left his girlfriend for another girl? You know he's a cheat, so now it's your turn? Did he breakup with the second girl also?
Being involved with too many females leads to drama; and that always ends in vicious cat-fights. The women at each others throats over one guy who is messing around on all of them. In the end, he goes back to his ex.
He stopped making-out with you; because he might have had an attack of conscience. You may have liked getting fondled, but you will not like getting played.
You are not going to like how it feels just being used and rejected. He will go back to his new girlfriend. Wait until his new girlfriend figures-out what you're up to. Getting cozy and sexual with her new boyfriend!
None of this is innocent, nor coincidental. It's all happening "accidentally on purpose," as my partner used to say.
You conveniently placed yourself in a position to be seduced. You're playing with fire.
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A
female
reader, rocker_grl_96 +, writes (18 August 2014):
rocker_grl_96 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust to be clear I don't like the tittle it gave this, it is very misleading and not the point I was getting at. At all. Haha
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt +, writes (18 August 2014):
 Pretty much sounds like this guy is "all over the place" on his on/off attractions, How soon do you think it wil be before he's moved on to his next girl? You wanna get in this crossfire? I don't think so.
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