A
male
age
26-29,
*ow1234
writes:hey i am 18 and i am in big problem i have no nice friends in my new college and in my previous college i didn't have friends and people who i talk to won't concentrate much in my talks and many will start talking over me and i feel so alone in my college and i feel lonely and one person told me my voice is not manly i feel i don't have a nice personality. I feel people don't prefer talking to me. I feel so bad. I need help. Pls i need your advises. I want to improve. I want to be popular in my college. I want to have many friends. i feel nervous also while talking to girls and what shall i do to talk really nice and have a nice personality
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male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (13 August 2014):
 You need not fret over your college years as friend making years, you'll most lely never those folks again after the tassles flip from one side to the other,so just make great grades and concentrate on your next phase of life. AND,whatever you do, start saving your money from day one of your first job. Otherwise you'll end up broke and alone answering questions on wev=b sites like this one. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Being popular is HIGHLY over-rated.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2014): In addition to the great advice given by Tisha-1, I suggest that you become totally immersed in your studies. College is not a popularity contest, it is where you go for higher education; which will open doors to your future.
Try independent travel. Work and save your money, and travel to places you've never been. Even in your own country. Then you will have pictures and things to talk about.
This has worked for many OP's and friends of my own. Join the drama club in your college. Learn to be expressive, to stand and speak before crowds. Learn to tap into your imagination. Enjoy performing, and you'll get an audience. Your face will be exposed to groups of people, and the theater crowd will embrace you for your uniqueness. People just like you have become the finest performers of all time.
If you have a hobby, a talent, or an interest that you are extraordinarily gifted at; either join a club, or start one.
Sometimes your hidden talents are what draw people. Share those things you are really good at.
Good luck to you young man!
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A
female
reader, 02DuszJ  +, writes (12 August 2014):
 You're racked with self doubt and low self confidence- and people SENSE this... When you're nervous, wondering what people think of you, you're not focusing on the conversation, people pick up that self doubt and it makes them a bit uncomfortable..I know when I was very socially anxious the very rare times I did speak to someone, I could tell they found me a chore and we both just wanted to conversation to end, badly! You are very young and at that stage where you don't know quite who you are, n are constantly looking for answers, evaluating yourself. Well in actual fact the others are the SAME as you, they don't know who they are either... At 18- 20 years old not many are wise and well rounded individuals. It's rude to exclude people or talk over people anyway. That's NOT the sort of person everyone wants to be around. They'll likely form cliques and make you feel like you're not likeable... People who are also insecure or going through a learning process about themselves can often be cruel and thoughtless.You've not said anything to indicate you're a bad person... You just believe you are because of your severe lack of self confidence.Like Tisha said, the book she mentioned "how to win friends...." Is a BRILLIANT book and would be ideal for you. Here's a link that just shows there are many millions more like you that don't feel comfortable and are at a loss how to interact with others. There's loads of stuff on the internet, but wikihows pretty good! http://m.wikihow.com/Have-a-Great-ConversationTake care of yourself, We all wish you well :) x
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (12 August 2014):
 Hi Wow, there is a very famous and helpful book that was published a long time ago and has sold millions of copies. It may help you in your quest to make friends.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Win_Friends_and_Influence_People is the wikipedia page. The book is widely available for not much money so look for used copies online.
A friend of mine would go to toastmasters meetings in order to develop confidence and speaking skills. You can find a local chapter here: http://reports.toastmasters.org/findaclub/
http://www.toastmasters.org is the main site.
I would focus on trying to learn 3 facts about each person you encounter. Speak with them long enough and ask the right questions and you'll learn more about people.
Teenagers often feel very self-conscious and like everyone is staring at them and judging them. Once you realize that most people are caught up in their own worries and aren't paying as much attention to you as you fear, you'll be a lot more relaxed.
Just smile, make eye contact, ask polite and pertinent questions. Get the book and join toastmasters and come back in a year to let us know how well you are doing!
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