A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I've been separated for years, I find sex is hard to get with out being in a relationship. I don't think it's fair to get into a relationship until my divorce is final. The only sex I had any chance of getting was with 2 married women, I won't have sex with anyone's wife or girlfriend. I get so sexually frustrated I could scream. I've started thinking about paying for sex. I do realize it's empty and passionless but what's a guy with sexual needs supposed to do, I'm tired of masturbation I need a woman to have sex with me, I'm getting so desperate. Is it so wrong to seek out a prostitute for sexual tension relief? I know it's risky and sadly illegal where I live, I just can't take being alone and horny with no one to have sex with. I'm thinking using a prostitute in my age bracket would be ok. In my situation is using a hooker ok?
View related questions:
divorce, escort, horny, prostitute, sexually frustrated Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2015): I think it's perfectly okay, as long as you are not currently in a relationship and that you show respect for the escorts. Escorts are offering a service in exchange of money, and you are offering money for that service. It goes without saying that you should stay away from minors or women who are pimped out, and instead go for the ones who work freely under their own terms, whether as independents or as part of a reputable agency. These women form the majority of sex workers.Do your homework, read online review boards in your locality, and go for reputable agencies and providers. Discuss with the escort what you need to make sure both are you agree on the terms of the encounter (i.e., what service is or isn't offered, the fee, etc.) so nobody has a bad surprise. Online reviews can also prevent you from getting yourself in a situation where you could be ambushed or mugged. Always give the donation to the girl at the end of the session, and respect the financial terms of the transaction.As far as STD goes, a previous poster is right saying it is no different than a one-night stand with a girl you pick up in a bar. I would even say that it could even be safer with sex workers: unless they are drug addicts and completely out of touch with reality (these people also exist in the non-escort world, by the way), they know better than anyone the importance of safe-sex and of a clean bill of health. No responsible sex worker will agree to non-safe sex and they will probably shun you and be frightened by you. When you think about it, it's what they make their living with: if you were playing the piano for a living, you would take care of not chopping off fingers.I don't know where you live, but get informed about the laws in your country/state/province, and if they are actually enforced by local law enforcement. I know for example that where I live in Canada, when it happens in a private place like a condo, between consenting adults, police don't intervene. In many places, entrapment is illegal so the cops can't legally pose as prostitute or escort agencies to lure citizens in offering money for sex. But know the law, don't take risks and for added security you can even cover your tracks by using a cheap pre-paid cell phone or by avoiding, for example, to use your personal (or work) email address on your cell phone.
A
female
reader, Anonyma  +, writes (24 September 2014):
 It's not okay. Buying bodies is never okay. Prostitution is abuse.You sound like a toddler having a tantrum. There are people out there who manage to go decades without sex, if they can do that, so can you. Masturbate, or try to find a fuck-buddy or one-night-stands. Get a girlfriend. Buy a plastic doll, there are such which look quite realistic. Subliminate your urges with something else, sports for example. Take cold showers. Be adult and live with the consequences of your current situation.In short: there are many ways to deal with your urges without buying people. Also be assured that many if not most women will dislike the notion of a partner who frequents prostitutes, because this is proof that he doesn't respect women and it also is proof that he isn't capable of self-control. Both are the opposite of character traits women seek in men.
...............................
A
female
reader, Intrigued3000  +, writes (18 August 2014):
 I know many will not agree with me, but I think it's OK. A lot of men (all ages, all income levels) utilize this service for different reasons. Forget about what other people think. It's about what you need for yourself at this time. You are not ready to be in a relationship, but you still crave intimacy and sexual gratification without complications. A prostitute can provide those services. Be safe. Be fastidious and have fun!
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (14 August 2014):
 My husband used escorts before he met me... IMO big deal.
Yes some women will not accept it.
I propose you find a site such as OK CUPID or Plenty of FISH
and that you seek a FWB with the express understanding that it's fun and games and you want a young horny single thing.
be willing to wine and dine her and buy her gifts or pay for things for her.
that's LEGAL prostitution since you are just friends helping each other out.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2014): I would say no, it is not ok- it's morally wrong, dangerous, illegal and creepy. Prostitutes don't enjoy their work. The higher paid ones like the money. It's a job. The lower paid sex workers are all drug addicted and they all take their life in their hands each time they go to work. Sometimes they may have sex/give blow jobs NUMEROUS times with different people in one day/week- no one is going to enjoy that.It is a dehumanizing experience all round. That is what you will do to yourself if you use another person that way. You will also be risking your life and that of any future gf/wife.Any normal woman with self esteem would not want you after this- not if she knows or finds out about it. How long can a divorce take? Just wait until it is final and then start dating, go without sex until then.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2014): Are you sure you aren't just craving intimacy? Sharing your fears and desires with someone?
...............................
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (13 August 2014):
 This day in time with STDs so prevelant, I'd be terified to try what you suggest. I see no moral issues with it just the terror of the 'unknown' would likely render me impedent anyways, why waste money when there's free porn all over the net?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2014): "In my situation is using a hooker ok?"I don't know when there would be an "ideal" situation where someone would encourage you to seek the services of a prostitute. There are certainly many bad situations as there are good. Cerberus: "But I can't stress enough that boning an exploited or drug addict woman is not going to leave you with anything other than a feeling of disgust at yourself for feeding into that kind of shit."Whether the OP hires a professional prostitute or not, it doesn't help that the OP is still feeding into the sex industry and building the demand for sex workers - trafficked, exploited, willing, voluntary, or not. When you buy sex, you buy sex. When you buy someone's body for an hour or so, you buy someone's body for an hour or so. No sugar coating it."The only sex I had any chance of getting was with 2 married women, I won't have sex with anyone's wife or girlfriend."OP, I know this is different (and I'm not encouraging you to engage married women), but when you sleep with a prostitute you're still sleeping with someone's daughter, possibly someone's mother, etc...I could put many spins on it and it could make you feel just as lousy as you would for sleeping with married women. I'm just twisting things so you can see this from another angle....In case you do decide to sleep with a prostitute and then you begin to ruminate the things I've mentioned and you end up feeling bad after it's all done. If you don't want to feel any shame or guilt, your best bet is to "shop" around for women who enjoy one night stands, no string attached sex, etc...You don't necessarily have to find a professional hooker/escort. Of course, as you've said, you're getting exceedingly frustrated and finding these type of women takes time and effort...It's the more challenging method, but might be the most rewarding too.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2014): I know a lot will disagree but I think it's fine under very specific circumstances.
She cannot be a street-walker you pick up at the side of the road. They're mostly either addicts or being pimped out, you really don't want to stoop to the level of a woman who is either trafficked or an addict.
It's okay if you do your homework and find a high class one, pay proper money for a woman who does it as a career. Despite what people tell you a lot of women enjoy that line of work and the best chance you have of finding one is finding one of the more expensive and experienced ones.
Do your homework. Do not do anything with one until you're sure of her situation and you're sure she's a safe bet too.
Otherwise I see no problem. It's a service and you want to pay for it. As long as you pay, are polite and nice then there's nothing wrong with it.
But I can't stress enough that boning an exploited or drug addict woman is not going to leave you with anything other than a feeling of disgust at yourself for feeding into that kind of shit.
Also you know it'll be passionless and mechanical but I have a feeling you don't know how crappy sex like that can be. Your hand is probably better.
Anyone I've talked to that has experienced it once or twice said it just wasn't the same.
OP most importantly if you have to question strangers on the internet whether it's wrong or not means you probably aren't comfortable enough with the idea in which case you should just go on a dating website and try and find a hook up or even date.
If masturbation is not enough for you then then a warm fuck doll in the form of a hooker is probably not going to be either because it probably lacks what you really miss about sex.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2014): At the end of the day, I don't think it's morally or ethically wrong to hire a willing prostitute. But, if it's illegal, you could be held legally responsible for your actions in case you get caught...and that's not something you would want in your record at all. However, while your future SO might not have the right to know of your sexual history and I think people on here would say "it's none of her business to know since you two weren't dating at the time," some women wouldn't be too happy to hear that their SO slept with a prostitute....I know I wouldn't. (1) Because of the stigma attached to a prostitute (even though, if you really think about, it's no different than a one night stand in terms of risks of sexually transmitted diseases).(2) Just don't like the idea of someone buying sex and renting someone's body for an evening even though it really shouldn't compromise values in the long wrong so long as the prostitute is an adult and is willing. (3) "Willing" is difficult to define. People solicit their bodies for many reasons, some more materialistic, some more for survival. You never know...(Not trying to shame you). It's up to whether you want a prostitute to have been in your life. Prostitutes are still people. You're just paying for sex. If you can leave it behind you and wish not to mention it when in a relationship, then do as you wish.
...............................
|
