A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi all, I've been very down in myself lately. I've been wondering wat was the point in putting me on this earth? I live alone and I've no kids. I'm not in a relationship. The world could do without me. I really dont make a difference to anyone's life. I've a good job (that does tend to b quite stressful) and I've worked so hard at college to get where I am. But all these tings only benefit me??? Wats da point like?? I do often wonder dat if something happened to me wud anybody even notice? The only people i see regularly are my parents. My work colleagues are just dat-colleagues. I have no best friend and i just wonder wat was da point of my existence in the first place!! I'm not suicidal or anything like dat but i just get weary sumtimes and wonder why i even put in an effort at all. I'm probably not gonna find a boyfriend anytime soon and time for me to have kids is running out. I'll probably live like this forever. I dont kno if i cud bear that. Does anybody have any thoughts?
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male
reader, LuvHurts  +, writes (20 August 2014):
There is a reason for you to be here on earth. you will find out one day. work can be stressful and can take a toll on us humans very easily. For now, take a breather and relax. if you have vacation time accrued, use it. perhaps you will meet someone going on a trip. take some time out to attend social events or do volunteer work. there are lots of people out there waiting to meet the wonderful you.
Good Luck!
A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke  +, writes (14 August 2014):
 As a Christian, I would say our purpose is to serve God and that's the true way to find happiness and feel complete. Going to church is also a great way of meeting people.Biologically, three things make us happy: the anticipation of achieving a goal, the feeling when you have just achieved a goal and the endorphines you get from exercise. So to be happy, you need to set yourself goals - short-term, medium-term and long-term. Don't make them too hard. Take up a hobby, something you can look forward to doing and really enjoy. And start exercising regularly if you aren't already. Walking is the easiest one to fit in around your life.Why don't join a dating website? I'd advise you go for a paid-for one as you're less likely to find time-wasters there.All the best!
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A
male
reader, dougbcoll +, writes (14 August 2014):
 we are placed on this earth by God who created us. life is a gift, and what we do with it can impact people around us for the positive or negative. look in the Bible the new testament, you may find what you are looking for of how life can have meaning. maybe if you want to also put more value in your life, i am sure there is people near you that has needs that you may be the person to come into their lives and make a differance to change, help, and aid in their lives. look at a homeless shelter, school , church, hospital. their is people always in need of someone to come and be in their life. "what was the point of putting me on this earth?" we all can ask that from time to time. but over all God put us here to point us to him, and others to him. to live for not our own self only but to be a help people around us.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2014): Hi, My answer is going to be little bit different because nearly everything you are saying I can relate to totally. For a very long time(5+ years) I was down on myself, down on life and just down in general. I would often wonder what my purpose was and why I felt so sad and had no friends to surround me. It began because I lost my closest friend to a mental health issue and literally 3 days later had one very devastating relationship end and after that didn't really want to love anymore and that in turn affected everything else. I became reserved, anti-social and slowly and surely fell into a deep depression. In fact, I was VERY depressed. Nothing interested me anymore and I avoided people like the plague. But one day, while crying my eyes out, something in me snapped and I realized that I had cried so many times for others but never any tears for myself and the reason for that was simple: I didn't love myself or my own life enough to think I was worth any tears, not even my own. Somewhere down the line I stopped loving and caring about myself. That was like an epiphany and I started to take stock and I realized that the only reason why I had no friends and wasn't living a happier life was because of myself. I realized that the only person standing in the way of my happiness was myself. I say all of this to say: If you are wondering what your purpose is, it may just be that you have yet to find it, so take some time to get to know yourself and understand who you are and what makes you happy. And if you then still feel like you don't make a difference to anyone then go out into the world and start making some differences. You have to remember that every single day that you open your eyes in the morning is God giving you a second chance at living. So take that chance every single day and OWN it. I know that all of this is easier said than just done and it WILL take time before you begin to find your groove in life, but the thing is that you can't find one until you go out and start looking for it. So please PLEASE do. You may also need to seek professional help and if you feel that this is something that you need to speak about I would definitely recommend looking into a therapist who would be able to allow you to express yourself freely anytime you need without judgement.
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A
female
reader, MSA +, writes (14 August 2014):
 I think the first thing you should do is see a counselor about your depression. You mentioned you have a good job.. I believe part of your medical benefits package at work includes family or personal counselors. Give them a call and make an appt to talk to someone.You are still young and worked hard and gave up a lot to be where you're at right now. Most of the ladies entering their 30's working in corporate who is not yet dating or married will feel as you feel. Don't worry, this will not be how you will live the rest of your life!Hang out with co-workers more, make friends, volunteer, go to church groups, etc. To make friends you must first show yourself friendly.Let me share a story with you. I have a friend who thought she would be single all her life because the love of her life, a guy she was with for 10 years dumped her at age 29. She is now 32, met a guy at a dental office less than a year ago... they are getting married in a few weeks. Fate is a funny thing, believe in it!!Best of luck to you!!
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A
female
reader, laap +, writes (14 August 2014):
Hello, I would not recommend you to adopt kids. They are big responsibility and if you wanted that you would have done that. We make place in the world and we have to find ways to be helpful. The best place to start would be somewhere, where volunteering is accepted. Like if you are in big city, there are animal organizations like PAWS. I found it very helpful in such situations. You get to make friends or at least know what's going around and not feel lonely. I got to foster a cat till she found a owner. The next would be churches or your religious place. They often have lot if volunteer openings. In addition to these if you still feel the same you may need to see a counselor.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (14 August 2014):
 Yes, I do have a thought on this. You sound like you are depressed. It can be treated and you can find the many reasons to enjoy this gift of life we've been given.
Go see your doctor and lay it out; ask for help as you are struggling with this.
If you don't know what to do then make a decision to help others as much as possible. There are so many people who struggle in this world.
It's difficult to feel this way but you don't have to. Go ask for help from your doctor.
Do the things that are healthy and provide meaning to you. Take cancer patients to their treatments. Deliver meals to shut ins. Walk dogs and feed cats at shelters.
http://www.actionforhappiness.org
Life can be awful, difficult, hard, challenging and make you feel so unhappy. It can also be amazing and beautiful.
I love this: Life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful.
I think what's happening with you is something that can be dealt with, if you take the energy you took to write this question and apply it to looking into happiness.
:)
Choose to be well. Best wishes.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2014): Yeah, it's time for you to do something. Number one, research how to get what you want. The Internet is at your fingertips!
Finding a husband takes work, it doesn't just happen by magic and there are books that explain the stats and strategies.
These feelings are there to motivate you to action. So go get whatever you want. I think you've decided what you want, that's the first step. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (13 August 2014):
 highmaintenance 101 has it nailed... without offspring or adopted offsping it really can feel like there's no validity in your life. Apparently you don't have a faith to assist in these matters if you did the answers would be se;f evident.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2014): Maybe look into religions?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2014): Why dont u adopt kids? I dont think that you dont contribute anything in this world. All of us was created for a purpose.
Just maybe yours is different from most people. Being married, having a relationship or being with too many friends doesn't guarantee happiness.
You are lucky to have your parents. That' s a gift you should treasure. Not everyone does have a wonderful relationship with their mom and dad. You do and i envy you for that.
I dont have that. I may have a couple of relationships but that didnt last it just made me feel numb like i cant tell which is real, which is fake.
I maybe have friends but i am not secure that they dont talk behind my back. The most important thing in life is your relationship with God and your family.
Because no matter what happen they will never leave you.if you wanna be happy try to take a look at other people, less fortunate than you. Offer help. After that, you will have this gift of magical feeling that no one can put a price on it.
Do it regularly. It will make you feel complete and happy. That maybe will be your purpose in this life. The most noble purpose, ever.
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A
female
reader, Intrigued3000  +, writes (13 August 2014):
 You are going through an existential crisis. We all go through periods like this, even people who have kids, a husband, a best friend and a full life. Here are some suggestions to lead a more fulfilling life:
1. Adopt a puppy or a kitten from the animal shelter. A pet will give you companionship and unconditional love.
2. Create a bucket list of all the things you would like to achieve before you die, and start doing them. Don't be afraid to travel alone or do things by yourself. It will open new doors and offer new opportunities to meet new people and enrich your existence.
3. Travel, travel, travel. Get in your car or on a train or a cruise ship or a plane and go see the world.
4. Take a course that you're interested in or learn a new language.
5. Train yourself to run a half marathon or full marathon.
These are just some suggestions to put a spark back into your life. When you fill your life with new experiences and new challenges, your existence would not seem so bleak anymore, and while you're busy having fun, people with a kindred spirit will gravitate towards you. Pretty soon you will have a network of authentic friends who understand you, and if you're lucky, you may even find love.
Listen, there are many people out there who are trapped in bad marriages / relationships, who wish they could be free like you to live your life as you want on your own terms. You are very fortunate. Don't worry about having kids either. When the time is right, you will. I have friends who are well into their 40's and they're having their first child. You still have time.
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