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... Send *ot My Name a private message | | | *ot My Name's profile:I guess I am an analytical type of person who tries to consider all aspects of a situation from all angles and view it with logic rather than react with emotion. I am an observer of people and oft reflect upon human behaviour including my own which is not always ideal lol) and feel this has given me a pretty good perspective on the varying dynamics of human situations. Well most of the time anyway :-) I've always seemed to be the one being sought out by friends for advice.
I am a spiritualist by religion (yes - talking to dead people) but with a scientific approach. I am considered quite knowledgable in paranormal matters, and oft counsel and empower people having issues in that dept, but as comes with the turf will also help with people's problems. I am not a thou shalt do this and don't do that type tho, that mind control crap in many religions makes me sick! I think we answer to our own conscience at the end of the day and if we grow and learn from an experience no matter how moral or immoral it is percieved by others, then we are progressing as people which is what it is all about at the end of the day.
Realtionship staus - hmm, kinda complicated, maybe later :-) |
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If porn is no big deal, it shouldn't be hard for him to choose, right?
Q. Is there something wrong with me? At the beginning of my relationship with my boyfriend of years) i told him i hate porn. If he watched it, he's gone. End of story. Reasons being, the girls are someones duaghters, yet they allow themselves to have ...
A. 30 December 2009: Sounds to me like the problem is less with the porn than it is of you comparing yourself to the 'plastic fantastic' bodies in it and attacking the owners of them coz they threaten your own body image or sense of self.
... (read in full...)
I'm 13 and really want a baby! I'm depressed!
Q. hiyyahh help me i realy want a baby and i'm 13 all my mates are sick of me twisting about it i feel depressed because i want one that bad i crave it ive saved money up and thought it through the only thing i dont want to tell my perants i k...
A. 30 December 2009: Baby sitting is nothing like having one 24/7/365!
When you cant be bothered at 3 am, you still have to get out of bed and attend to your child and it does not matter that you have done that for the last 200 days and only get to sleep a few hour... (read in full...)
Our affair was exposed and my reputation is at stake!
Q. I had an affair with a married man. About a year ago we started hanging out and a kiss led to touching, and touching led to sex. We had sex 3 different times and hung out from time to time after that. I have not seen him in about 9 months and then ...
A. 29 December 2009: Why would he contact you? You already had not seen him for 9 months before he got busted - you were not a priority before, I doubt you will suddenly become one now that he is paying with the loss of his wife for what was in the end, just a few ... (read in full...)
I have a fantasy of the "perfect man"
Q. I'm a bit confused at the moment, hope someone can help. I have this thing for cute, blond men and I've always dreamed of ending up with a man like that. I met one a year ago, we dated a little and I fell head over heels for him. But he said he d...
A. 29 December 2009: You could overlook the physical appearance for all the other admirable qualities you have listed, ... or you could just buy him a bottle of peroxide and some colored contacts ;-)
Seriously tho, if you are not crazy in love with him regardle... (read in full...)
I'm so through with letting people into my heart
Q. Ok I've got this computer till after Christmas. I am 19 not a manwhore (3 partners) and have been in a relationship with a long time friend of 12 years for 1 year and we have a daughter which is now 6 months. My mother died when I was 15 and it was ...
A. 24 December 2009: Marijuana and Mental Illness do not go well together.
If you seriously want to work on yourself and your future relationships then giving up the wacky tobaccy would be the first step.
...or you could just go on ahead dismissing known... (read in full...)
Do other girls do this? He's changed things up in our sex life!
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for 6 months now and our sexlife is great, but the last month, he has been changing things around and I'm wondering if any other girls do this. He will start with vagina sex, then go to anal, then immediately after ...
A. 24 December 2009: Arrgghhh, nooo, nooo, nooo, ... some oral action after vaginal, yeah cool imo, but never after anal. You can get very ill from the e coli and other bacteria that reside in the back passage. You should never even go from anal to vaginal either as it ... (read in full...)
Can anyone make me feel better about this? I think porn has changed the way people perceive women.
Q. Hi. I had a boyfriend a few years back and we'd both never done anything with anyone. when i trusted him, i took my clothes of for the first time in front of him and the first thing he said was "Urgh, youre not like the girls off porn" I was very ...
A. 24 December 2009: ...and was he hung like a monster donkey, all buff with with six pack abs, and the stamina of a stallion like most the guys in porn? Might be some double standards in his deluded expectations.
In any case, if that is his ideal, well he can rule... (read in full...)
I told him I had been treated for genital warts after we had sex? Would you forgive me?
Q. I slept with someone and didn't tell him I had been treated for genital warts nine months ago. I felt guilty and told him after we had sex. Would you forgive me?...
A. 24 December 2009: No! You have not supplied pertinent information that could affect anothers health and conscious choice to sleep with you or not, and that is NEVER ok! You yourself may have chosen to NOT sleep with whoever you contracted it from had you been giv... (read in full...)
How can a woman stay with the man she's with, if someone better comes along?
Q. If women are turned on more and more as a guy gets more confident, wealthier, higher in status, famous, stronger, bigger, wittier, etc, how are they able to fall in love, and have a relationship without feeling like going off with a guy who is ...
A. 24 December 2009: huh? I am turned on by the nature of a person - not the BS side issues of status, wealth, fame, etc, that really dont say much about them as a person.
*sighs* I really need to get out more if I am scratching my head in bewilderment that people r... (read in full...)
My ex has a new boyfriend, better in everyway than me. How am I supposed to get a girlfriend of equal looks?
Q. My ex and I, let's just say we were about equal in looks. I'm introverted (most of the time), and she likes extroverts. She got a new BF that is very socially confident, outgoing, charming, taller, and probably intelligent. Hands down, better than ...
A. 24 December 2009: You're only looking at some attributes about your ex's new bf, which is hardly a basis to decide he is 'hands down' better than you. Nor a basis to be deciding upon a new mate. I can understand that teens go for each other on fickle and trans... (read in full...)
Met a new guy, he's really respectful but I have no idea where this is headed.
Q. I went out with John*[Mod: Name changed to protect Identity], a guy who is a yr older than me on Saturday night. We worked together in the summer. He picked me up which was very cute. He mentioned that my hair cut was cute! I was impressed that he ...
A. 24 December 2009: What does that then say Q about all us poor women who are subjected to dutch ovens by long term partners lol? A dutch oven might actully be a sign of commitment lol :-) ... (read in full...)
Met a new guy, he's really respectful but I have no idea where this is headed.
Q. I went out with John*[Mod: Name changed to protect Identity], a guy who is a yr older than me on Saturday night. We worked together in the summer. He picked me up which was very cute. He mentioned that my hair cut was cute! I was impressed that he ...
A. 24 December 2009: Respectful? ...oh c'mon, ...he was trying to get in your pants on a first date!
Don't be suckered in by the charm, make him wait a while and if he is worth sleeping with he will respect you and wait patiently - maybe even spend a bit of money ta... (read in full...)
During kissing/cuddling/etc I suddenly orgasm without stimulation! Is this normal?
Q. Me and my fiance are both virgins, we are saving our selves tell we got married, but we do have kisses and cuddling....etc The problem is some of the times when we are kissing i suddenly orgasm !!!!! It been concerning me, should i seek for medical ...
A. 24 December 2009: Lucky you ..lol... (read in full...)
I have been building a house, if we broke up, would fiance get the house?
Q. im building a house for the last eight year s with my own money my fiance never wanted anything to do with it were together six year s and have a six month old baby who i adore if we broke up would she be intitled to the house ,...
A. 24 December 2009: I think the answer might be specific to the laws in your contry and any extenuating circumstances that would sway courts in her favor - presuming you did not come to an amicable agreement yourselves.
Where I live, around 3/4 would typicall... (read in full...)
My girlfriend gives horrible oral, but is more than happy to give it, how can I make her better at it?
Q. I'm with a girl who I love a lot, and things are fantastic... to a point. When I give her oral sex, she loves it, moaning and grabbing and clawing... all the things I could imagine are good signs. But when she goes down on me (she is very willing to ...
A. 24 December 2009: Unless she is psychic, it is up to you to communicate what you like. You can do this with verbal comments and requests to let her know what feels good to you and guide her a bit, you can let her know with your body language and responses, ... and ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend makes me wear very revealing outfits all the time, is this right? If not how can I make him stop this?
Q. My boyfriend insists on me wearing very skimpy clothing even in the winter time. I live in Toledo, so it is cold down here! He has made me wear very short skirts and dresses, with little boots,it does look cute but not for every place we go. I am in ...
A. 24 December 2009: My instinct is to not believe this post is genuine - what a load of shit that someone would go out exposing themselves over a pool table at anothers insistance, ... but hey maybe I just can't compute allowing someone to boss me around or showing so ... (read in full...)
She's having an affair with a married man. How can I make her see the error of her ways?
Q. Hi, I'm hoping for some perspective. I've been friends with a girl from school for years. She's very clever, attractive, silly and ambitious. We don't have a huge amount in common but we've had common friends over the years, we've been on ho...
A. 24 December 2009: Unless she has asked for your advice or help, then it is not up to you to make her change her perspective from her own to yours.
I think you should butt out and focus on your own interaction with her, not her interaction with others,... and if y... (read in full...)
He's much bigger than my prior boyfriends and I'm worried sex will be painful
Q. hii so imm 16 and this boy imm dating is 18. we have a rlly good time together and he makes me rlly happy (: we havent had sex yet but we both want to and will probably do it soon. the problem is.. ive had sex with 2 other guys, both of which ...
A. 24 December 2009: Respectful and consensual rough play is one thing, but planning to be rough to someone who is not up for it physically and mentally (and you're clearly not if already worried about pain and feel nervous) shows a lack of concern for that persons ... (read in full...)
Made to feel bad for not wanting anal sex??
Q. Hi there, I just wanted some advice! I've been with my boyfriend for just over a year. He's a gentleman, charming and does everything under the sun for me. There's just one thing that's concerning me. I first let me boyfriend try anal sex about ...
A. 23 December 2009: Just be up front and tell him you are not comfortable with doing it and if he wont respect that/you and back off on this, ask him if it would be ok if you shoved a vibrator up his arse? Chances are fairly good he will recoil at the notion and i... (read in full...)
Fitting the mold...
Q. I am so sick of women falling into the trap of thinking that they are just a piece of meat for men to goggle at. Women are required to wear highheels and make up and such or they are not considered attractive...if they are not skinny and slutty ...
A. 23 December 2009: Agree with starmonster - women are not placed in submissive roles in respect to being required to dress certain ways, nor is it correct that guy's expect it. I for one certainly dont think I am a peice of meat to be ogled at, ...and if I wear ... (read in full...)
Did he mean what he said about my private parts or was he really joking?
Q. My boyfriend and I were in a fight and I was making fun of the size of his penis. Then he said well what do you call that stuff sticking out of you. He meant my labium majus. I asked him about it later when we had made up. He said he was just joking ...
A. 23 December 2009: yep - put ya pants back on until you are mature enough to not go giving complexes to other people that could affect them indefinately. If you can't respect each other, you have no business having sex with each other. ... (read in full...)
What is the name of this game?
Q. ok so i played this game a few years ago and im hoping there are a few gamers out there that can tell me the name of this game i compleatly forget. ok so theres this chick that lives supposably in the furture and she travels ...
A. 23 December 2009: Sounds to me like 'Dreamfall - The Longest Journey', ... Zoe Castillo is the main character, no dog - but a purple robot monkey called Wonkers, dremas and electronic images of a freay little girl outside a spooky house who is always tellin he... (read in full...)
My marriage is going downhill and I have met somebody who I can love as I once loved her!
Q. I have been married for twelve years, and before we were married we dated for ten years and lived together during those times. We have two beautiful children nine and eleven years old. My marriage has been going downwards for the last five years. I ...
A. 23 December 2009: I don't know, but being verbally abused by your wife in front of your children does not sound like a 'healthy family' to me. Kids are not stupid, they notice these things. Most times people think staying together is the 'right' thing to do for ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend insecure and following the masses?
Q. Is my boyfriend insecure? You see, he's a very nice, sweet, low profile, smart guy. Really down to earth with most things, he's like the perfect guy! But there's one thing that kind of bothers me... Sexually it's like he's been brainwashed by t...
A. 23 December 2009: Sorry - but it sounds to me like you might be the insecure one.
You object to his fantasy's - not that you are expected to carry them out if not your thing, but what is the harm in him wanting something sexually whether he gets it or not. You... (read in full...)
I found out my very close friend is a peophile!
Q. I've got a bit of a unique problem I need help with. Its not a relationship problem but its kinda something I feel I can't ask people I'm friends with incase of how they react :( I just need some advice and thoughts. For the last 3 years, I had a...
A. 22 December 2009: Ditto the first poster - but will add in case you wanna chase him up, ...
I had to locate someone in an unknown prison earlier this year, and found it to be surprisingly easy.
I rang my local police, explained the situation, got a number off... (read in full...)
I can't do this anymore... I'm obsessed with his ex!
Q. I'm losing grip, and I'm losing my mind... I've written on here before, but I'm still suffering. Things got better, and now they're falling back into a place that is haunting me, and it's a place that I can't escape. I am 20 years old (almost 21),...
A. 22 December 2009: What the hell are you doing to yourself? She was ancient history in his personal life long before HE CHOSE YOU as his focus!
Actually, go get a peice of paper (yes - right now) and write in big fat letters HE CHOSE ME on it and pin it on your bed... (read in full...)
Please don't lecture me, I need advice on what I should do next!
Q. i have recently had unprotected sex several times within the past month or two. lately i have been feeling nauseous, tired for no reason at all, having weird food cravings, going to the bathroom more, and my breasts have been sore. i have had what i ...
A. 22 December 2009: I showed a negative on a home pregnancy test when I was in fact about 7 weeks pregnant. The level of hormone in my system was not sufficient for the test to accuarately detect (I even had a second one show neg in the doctors office - so it was not a ... (read in full...)
She is too tight, how can we solve this?
Q. me and my gf have tried intercourse 5-6 times. my penis is not circumcized and I am her first sexual partner. I have had sex before, but this girl is just too tight. my penis penetrates just about an inch inside her and my foreskin is pushed back ...
A. 22 December 2009: When you are trying to penetrate, keep going fwd a little at a time until you are all the way in. Thrusting in and out whilst trying to achieve more depth each time will cause your girl more pain than with a slow steady fwd progression, and will ... (read in full...)
Failure and weak men
Q. Well hello all Its RAINORFIRE, I felt it is about time I jump into the mix. I have something to talk about, Men who are weak Cheating seems to be a huge issue it always has in relationships then there's the porn, post after post wives ...
A. 22 December 2009: I think the weakness is not in being attracted to another person, but in not having the gumption to do the right thing, admit your partner is not doing it for you anymore, and then stop wasting their time and life by cheating whilst they live out ... (read in full...)
Hollywood ex: Do? or don't?
Q. Hi All, So my boyfriend has been sort of hinting that he'd like me to get strip the carpet downstairs, but I'm a little unsure about it. Ladies, have you done it before? Would you recommend it? Does it hurt as much as I think it might? Any ot...
A. 21 December 2009: I guess it depends how you go about the hair removal.
A lot of people shave coz it is quick, inexpensive, painless, not a lot of effort, etc. On the downside you can have shaving rash, tiny pimples come up in hair follicles, etc. Personal... (read in full...)
I cant be sure that he loves me as much as I love him!
Q. Okay, my boyfriend and I have been going out for like a month now and he says that he loves me every time we get off the phone and whenever we talk, but im not sure he really means it cause well I don't think anybody could have the same feelings for ...
A. 21 December 2009: We can't really measure something as subjective as another persons feelings. We can try to comprehend, but we cant ever actually experience what another is feeling to truly know.
I think it may be a case of actions speaking louder than words - ... (read in full...)
Does she feel masturbating is wrong?
Q. Dear readers, how do I get my girlfriend to masturbate... I've told her to try it several times and said she didn't feel anything. She says she only feels it when I do it. She also doesn't like putting her finger in herself... does she not enjoy ma...
A. 21 December 2009: Glad my comments helped/ gave you insight /whatever :-)
Just thought I'd add, my non pushy approach paid off today.
Did not really have time to do anything this morning before work, but thought I would just tease my man a bit to keep him keen... (read in full...)
How can I make my wife swallow?
Q. Ladies, I'm a married man of 2 years, and my wife is still not sure that she wants to swallow while performing oral sex. It creates a kind of vicious circle for me in a sense that I have a hard time "finishing" because the thought of her n...
A. 21 December 2009: She may just be grossed out at the thought of swallowing a bodily fluid in which case that's life and nothing you can do about it. Take heart tho, I have a friend who literally vomits just at the sight or smell of it, nevermind any notion of her ... (read in full...)
My managers are asking me out and I'm afraid I'm going to get fired because I say no
Q. I would like to ask for your help to give me some piece of advice. I am working in a big company for 2 yrs now with more than 100 plus employees. I am a silent type of person and when at work I just do my job well but these past 6 months, managers...
A. 21 December 2009: Perhaps this is to do with cultural boundaries. Many middle eastern countries expect women to remain virgins until marriage, and sadly in many, not doing so can land the woman (rarely the male in the equation) in very serious trouble. Being ... (read in full...)
I want to have sex like I used to!
Q. I never used to have a problem having sex and i used to love it! Now i have a new boyfriend and everytime he goes near me i freak and move away! We have had sex a few times and it was good but he always has a go because i dont have an orgasim. I ...
A. 21 December 2009: What the....? He must want to shag a robot who will come on command if he is gunna go you for not operating on cue like he thinks you should.
Perhaps he feels inadequate and is deflecting the blame on to you rather than acknowledge he may have... (read in full...)
How ofter should I masturbate if I'm only 13??
Q. how often should i masturbate if im only 13??...
A. 21 December 2009: You ask as if it is a requirement and there is a quota to fill ..lol. Do it IF and WHEN you feel like doing it providing you are in an appropriate place to do so. It may be often, may be very infrequent. Either is ok. I really dont think it is... (read in full...)
I smelled my sisters feet when I was younger, am I normal?
Q. (MOD NOTE: TITLE IS ORIGINAL POSTERS)Sexual thoughts and family Okay so I'm 17 and for about a year ive had "intrusive thoughts" where i picture sexual acts with basicly everyone i meet, even family members. I'm quite disgusted with myself and ...
A. 21 December 2009: I am suspecting from your comments that perhaps suffer from OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) If this is in fact a correct assumption, then you will also learn through counselling that it is the nature of the disorder to think things / worry you ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to want some privacy to masterbate?
Q. I'm 14 years old and in the ninth grade, and like most guys my age I masturbate what I guess would be pretty frequently (at least one time a day if not more). I'd rather not do it in the bathroom, I'm just more comfortable in my bedroom, but my mom ...
A. 21 December 2009: You dont even have to go so far as to say you want privacy incase you happen to be masturbating - tho do so if your comfortable saying it. I think that even the case that you may happen to simply be changing clothing should be enough for a mum to ... (read in full...)
The girl I like is already taken, where can I find another like her?
Q. Hello this is my first time here =) Well i am a cool guy, have friends(popular in school), good looking, and kinda profound, but Ive never had a girlfriend or had sex, last girl i tried to get, well she was 1 year older,i talked to her and all w...
A. 20 December 2009: There is a very fine line between appearing confident (and imo appealing) and appearing egotistical (and a total turn off). Ya might wanna check which side ya toes are poking on coz I am wondering if somewhere in the ensuing convo's with this girl ... (read in full...)
Girls: after you have 'come', how long do you need to wait before you can handle more?
Q. Girls, after you have come, say from oral, how long do each of you need to wait on account of sensitivity before you can handle more?...
A. 20 December 2009: Not everyone experience extreme sensitivity to a degree where they can't handle more - so for some it is virtually straight away. Actually who says a woman even has to stop at all because she has come? That said, probably dont expect to get too much ... (read in full...)
My ex has sex with me and then goes and calls his girlfriend
Q. Three weeks ago i found out that my boyfriend was cheating with me. We had a big fight and he left me. He called me bitch and said he never loved me. One week ago he called me and asked for help...he came to my state to do his pratical and he needed ...
A. 19 December 2009: Dont disrespect yourself by letting this guy disrespect you. Don't get sad, ... get mad at any guy wanting to treat you like this and boot his butt out the door. ... (read in full...)
Does she feel masturbating is wrong?
Q. Dear readers, how do I get my girlfriend to masturbate... I've told her to try it several times and said she didn't feel anything. She says she only feels it when I do it. She also doesn't like putting her finger in herself... does she not enjoy ma...
A. 12 December 2009: I have a similar situation but opposite sex. My guy previously spent 16 years with a sexually repressed prude who would only have sex in one position, lights out, and responded to any of his encouragement for experimentation by calling him a pe... (read in full...)
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