A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I never used to have a problem having sex and i used to love it! Now i have a new boyfriend and everytime he goes near me i freak and move away! We have had sex a few times and it was good but he always has a go because i dont have an orgasim. I really want to be able to have sex like i used to, i cant understand what my problem is. I'm so scared now and it puts my boyfriend off!Please help! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (21 December 2009):
 What the....? He must want to shag a robot who will come on command if he is gunna go you for not operating on cue like he thinks you should.
Perhaps he feels inadequate and is deflecting the blame on to you rather than acknowledge he may have any part to do with it.
The fact tho that you are freaking and moving away from his advances suggests that you are not in the right 'place' mentally, emotionally or physically for this to occur, and therefore probably not with a person compatible to you to be doing it with in the first place.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2009): Sounds like he feels a bit inferior that he can't bring you to orgasm like someone in your past could, and he's blaming you for it instead. And the more he does this the less relaxed you are going to feel and therefore less likely to have an orgasm. Sex is supposed to be about both people experiencing pleasure, not counting orgasms!
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A
male
reader, Advice_man  +, writes (20 December 2009):
 I must agree with the anonymous reader below. I think your relationship lucks chemistry, at least on your part. Ok, maybe you love him, he is a great kid, he treats you nice and all that, but you don't feel attracted to him. Or perhaps is just a phase that you are going through, you just feel a great apathy towards everyone, you feel cold and distance. Hope you figure it out soon. Best of luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2009): Your problem is that you and your boyfriend don't match up. He makes you freak out? Definitely not a good sign, of course the sex is bad when you can't stand him touching you. Is this how it always was or did something happen while with him that changed things? In that case: what? Him having a go because you dont get an orgasm reeks of immaturity. Teach him a lesson on female anatomy. We just don't come whenever we feel like it! It takes hard work, and clearly he believes YOU are the one who needs to work more. Actually, he is probably just not that good in bed and needs to learn how to get you off, which bothers his ego. Either he can get real, or you should find someone who makes you feel comfortable.
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