A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Three weeks ago i found out that my boyfriend was cheating with me. We had a big fight and he left me. He called me bitch and said he never loved me. One week ago he called me and asked for help...he came to my state to do his pratical and he needed a place to stay. He said the girl he loves is from my state thats why he came to do his pratical in my state so that he can get more close to his present girlfriend. I allowed him to stay in my house. Every afternoon and at late nights he always talks to his girlfriend on fone. Theres no single day that he never talked to his girlfriend. Yesterday when i came from work we were talking and dont know how we had sex together. After having sex he asked me to leave from the room coz he wants to talk to his girlfriend. Today again after work we had sex....and again at late night i heard him talking to his girlfriend. I dont know why but when ever i hear him talking to his girlfriend i have heartache and i start crying. To tell the truth i still love him....and want him back in my life. What should i do..... ? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (19 December 2009):
 Dont disrespect yourself by letting this guy disrespect you. Don't get sad, ... get mad at any guy wanting to treat you like this and boot his butt out the door.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2009): For heavens sake, woman, get some backbone! What on earth do you think you're doing, letting this nasty man stay in your home so he can be closer to his current girlfriend, and still having sex with you?!You are causing yourself to be unhappy by telling yourself you love this scumbag, then you get upset when you hear him talking on the phone to her (after having sex with you); give yourself heartache and tell us you don't know what to do. What do you expect?Tell him to leave your home, right now and to never contact you again, under any circumstances. Let him find his own accommodation if he wants to be close to his girlfriend. Clearly, he has no respect for you, and I'm sorry to say this, but by your "loving" and crying over him and trying to help him out, you are only encouraging his (admittedly horrible) treatment toward you.You have NO obligation to him, none whatsoever.Hope this will serve as a wakeup call, that you'll learn from it to treat yourself better and NEVER allow any other man to behave like this.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (18 December 2009):
 1. Stop having sex with him - his dick is not made of gold.
2. Tell him he has to move out.Having him around as a constant reminded is not healthy.
3. Don't let anyone treat you like a doormat.
He is a man-shore - let him go. It isn't love.
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A
female
reader, bitterblue  +, writes (18 December 2009):
 You want him back after he trashed you, you keep having sex and welcome him in your house so that he lives closer to his girlfriend. Sounds great.
My dear, where is your dignity, where is your self esteem, why do you 'love' someone who trashes you??? I fear you are so troubled that you can't help yourself all alone. Do you at least have the power to ask for help or are you that weak?
Don't forget - you are who you are with and you are treated how you accept to be treated. Your self esteem is very, very poor, and it's crucial for your happiness to have a healthy esteem. Get help but before this, recognise that you need it.
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A
female
reader, Courts4  +, writes (18 December 2009):
 Why are you doing this to yourself?
This man is just using you to satisfy his needs, he doesnt feel anything for you.
Please dont let him do this to you.
I cant even tell you how I feel , I just want to give this guy a smack in the face for what he is busy doing.
Please ask him to leave.
He is just gonna ruin your life and leave you with a scar.
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A
female
reader, PeanutButter +, writes (18 December 2009):
 You need to stop having sex with this man RIGHT NOW!
He doesn't love you anymore and you are letting yourself be used.
You might still love him, but he is with someone else now, and he is clearly not letting them go if he feels the need to call her every five minutes.
Usually people call their partners after they've has sex with someone else to try and eliminate the guilt they're feeling for having done so!!
You do NOT need a man like this in your life, you deserve better. He should never have stayed with you in the first place - he needs to be staying at a hotel or an actual friends place, not somewhere he can get fringe benefits.
Don't do it to yourself. Let him go, be strong and stand your ground. You are not going to get this guy back with sex, all you're saying to him now is "Ok, I'll have sex with you, and you can have someone else on the side, works for me" and you can't allow yourself to get sucked into that situation.
Make your stand. Deny the sex. You don't want to be with a man that cheats on his girlfriend because he'll then do the same to you.
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