A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm with a girl who I love a lot, and things are fantastic... to a point. When I give her oral sex, she loves it, moaning and grabbing and clawing... all the things I could imagine are good signs. But when she goes down on me (she is very willing to do this) I hardly feel the same way; the teeth, the lack of moisture... I love her, and things can be seen as lasting for a long time. I love making her happy, and she wants to do the same. But she doesn't know she's bad.. How do I address this?
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female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (24 December 2009):
 Unless she is psychic, it is up to you to communicate what you like. You can do this with verbal comments and requests to let her know what feels good to you and guide her a bit, you can let her know with your body language and responses, ... and you can get in the habit of asking her if she is liking something or has preferences in the way you're doing things so that hopefully she will feel comfortable just coming out and asking you similar stuff.
I think a lot of the time people see it as an admission of crappy technique or something to be enquiring what does it for their partner. The way I see it is everyone is different and likes diff things and we have to learn that about each new person we are intimate with if we want to make it as enjoyable as possible for them. And dont take it as a slap in the face either if something is not working out for them.
A
female
reader, MissKin  +, writes (24 December 2009):
 such a sensitive subject! First of all. never use the following words/phrases: 'I can't feel it, I don't like it, It's bad, horrible, not good, you need more practise.'
Don't let on that you've never liked it at all - that will just crush her willingness to do it at all! But it isn't hopeless. If you've got a good strong relationship you can talk about it, but you both still have feelings.
I think a good way to go about it is to coach her softly during. Make everything a dirty game and it will be okay. If it's not.. moist... enough, then tell her to make you all wet because you like it. And just tell her during, no matter what she's doing 'it feels so good when you *Something you want more of, even if she's never done it before*, it feels so good...'
... you get the hint. Be sweet and caring and understanding. If she DOES catch on that she needs a bit of help with it, be sure to be understanding if she cries, and make sure to try and make her feel better and calm.
You could always go to ann summers, or a place that sells 'how to give oral' sort of books and buy one each as a mini-adventure :)
umm im not sure this will help! Sorry if it doesnt.
take care and gud luck
x
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A
male
reader, paulofessex +, writes (24 December 2009):
 Sounds odd but l wonder if giving her a demo on her thumb would be any good.....oh that does sound odd.
Best Wishes
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A
female
reader, lovinghim4ever  +, writes (23 December 2009):
Lemme start by saying I am a female. I have had a man in a previous relationship tell me I wasn't the greatest at oral. It embarrased me a little but I didn't get offended...try explaining to her that you love she's so willing but she could use some practice n just give her some pointers on how to make it more pleasurable for both of you
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2009): It won't get any better dude. Blow jobs just aren't what porn sites crack them up to be. You are right, the moisture problem, teeth (uggh), not enough sensation from the lips, all combine to make it nota so good, eh? Have her work in a hand job with the blow job. That will make it better.
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A
female
reader, Mrs. Sheetz +, writes (23 December 2009):
ok well when i first started doing oral for my bf i felt like i wasnt doing anything right and i think my bf felt my self consciousness he started dropping hints that he was looking up new things online on how to make me happy..so i did the same..idk it mite work for you too
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2009): Communication is key. Just tell her, guide her on how you would like it. She doesn't know what you like, and if you keep quiet, she'll assume that you're enjoying it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2009): Give her some guidance, tell her to protect you by covering her teeth with her lips, to try to salivate a little more, and to use suction, not just go up and down...and show her how she can use her hands as well.It is about communication and if you are old enough to be having sex, then you are old enough to talk about it.And yes oral sex is sex. Please make sure that she is on birth control before ever having intercourse.
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