A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm a bit confused at the moment, hope someone can help.I have this thing for cute, blond men and I've always dreamed of ending up with a man like that. I met one a year ago, we dated a little and I fell head over heels for him. But he said he didn't want a relationship and he left me. I was absolutely devastated.I dated a few other guys after that but nothing ever took off. In that time I met a guy but I wasn't too sure about him because he wasn't the blond, cute type. But we got on so well, we could talk for hours and he was so into me...I decided to give him a chance and see where things would go.I've now been with him for 6 months and he's getting serious about me. He says he wants me in his future, his family really likes me and he's making all these plans for us.He's amazing, I can spend hours with him and it feels like minutes. He listens to every word I say, he remembers the smallest details about me, and he really cares about me...I've never had anyone like this before.I however am not sure where I want things to go. I enjoy the here and now but everytime I think of 'settling' down with him I always think that I will 'miss out' on getting than blond man I've always wanted. I guess I'm content with what I have but I'm not crazy in love, I'm not head over heels.I don't want to leave my boyfriend because of some fantasy I have of the 'perfect man.' Maybe this fantasy man doesn't even exist and I would be throwing away all that I have now.I just feel so confused and guilty when my boyfriend talks about all these plans for us and how he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. I can't imagine life without my boyfriend and I don't want to leave him but I'm always thinking that I will miss out on that specific man I've always wanted.Any advice from anyone who's felt a similar way? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (29 December 2009):
 Say you find Mr Perfect. What makes you so sure you are Miss Perfect to him?
But if you are not in love with him, then you are not in love with him. But then, why can't you life without him?
You got to figure out what it is you are really feeling and what it is you really want. You can't make yourself love someone just because they are right for you.
And could your wish for the perfect man be a way to avoid committing? Sort your feelings out, for your own but also his sake. He deserves a woman who loves him fully and without regrets or constantly looking over his shoulder for a better guy.
A
female
reader, Not My Name +, writes (29 December 2009):
 You could overlook the physical appearance for all the other admirable qualities you have listed, ... or you could just buy him a bottle of peroxide and some colored contacts ;-)
Seriously tho, if you are not crazy in love with him regardless of appearance, then I think it would be kindest if you did not let him get too far ahead of himself with making life plans that you perhaps can't see yourself as part of.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2009): A fantasy man is just that 'A Fantasy'. I doubt very much even if you got him that he could live up to the idea that you have of him in your head.
Stay with your boyfriend and enjoy what's real.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (29 December 2009):
Everyone has an image of the perfect partner. What you have to remember is nobody is perfect. You love your boyfriend, he loves you, his family love him. That's pretty close. If you want the blond cute men, you'll lose your boyfriend because he will think he's second best. Nobody is perfect, and he search for perfection usually leads to great sadness. There is more to someone than blond hair and looking cute. I think you should stay with your boyfriend, because if you try and chase a fantasy, you'll end up alone. And besides, your fantasy man has already let you down. He dumped you because he didn't want a relationship. Your boyfriend may not look like the fantasy man, but he's there to keep if you want him. Surely that's better than someone who looks the part but who will hurt you?
...............................
|
