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female
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*ellachic385
writes: I went out with John*[Mod: Name changed to protect Identity], a guy who is a yr older than me on Saturday night. We worked together in the summer. He picked me up which was very cute. He mentioned that my hair cut was cute! I was impressed that he remembered. We went to his appartment to watch movies. Things were going well. He did cute things like putting the blanket over me when I was cold. When he went to far I stopped him and he respected that. He then asked if I was a virgin, which I am. I did not expect to have that conversation this early in our relationship. He said that it was totally fine and held me closer. It was reasureing that he cares for me and not just for sex. He did the same when I mentioned that I just got out of a bad experience over Thanksgiving break. I feel happier and more comfortable with him than anyother guy I have dated. I know I threw a lot at him for the first date. Since then we have been texting everyday. I want to be in a relationship with him. I go to school 2 hrs away but with the right guy it can work. How do I bring this up. At this point I'm not sure where this is headed. Any advice is good.
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female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (24 December 2009):
 What does that then say Q about all us poor women who are subjected to dutch ovens by long term partners lol? A dutch oven might actully be a sign of commitment lol :-)
A
female
reader, Not My Name +, writes (24 December 2009):
Respectful? ...oh c'mon, ...he was trying to get in your pants on a first date!
Don't be suckered in by the charm, make him wait a while and if he is worth sleeping with he will respect you and wait patiently - maybe even spend a bit of money taking you on a proper date too lol.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2009): You don't need to know where this is headed it is too early to tell. So just have fun and remember not to invest too much in this one guy, date some other guys so you don't get clingy and obsessed with this one and do not wait by the phone for him to call. Guys like girls with their own lives, so keep doing all the things you like to do.
I don't think it was respectful to take you to his apartment to "watch a movie" on the first date. That is not a date, that is a gee, I hope I get lucky event. The fact that he asked you if you were a virgin, tells me that he is mainly mainly interested in sex. No matter how patient or nice he seems remember that early on in dating a guy will say anything and do anything to get sex.
If you really want to know "where this is going" then don't give up the goods for a Loooooong time. If he is really into you, he will be happy just to be in your company and he will actually spend some money on you and take you out on a real date. If he is only in it for one thing, he will exit sooner than later, and no it is not worth it to give a guy sex to get him to stick around.
Having sex with a man does not make him fall in love, it makes him fall in lust. Men can easily detach their feelings when having sex.
In fact he may not see you as girlfriend material unless you say NO to his advances. A little secret the guys don't want you to know.
Have fun.
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