We adore each other and have been good for each other but I can't be intimate with him because I'm a lesbian
Q. Hi there everyone, I really need some advice. I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and I absolutely adore him, I love him. But I'm a lesbian. I've been with girls, had relationships with girls and I'm unable to be in...
A. 9 May 2010: You just need to be honest with him. You will never be the girlfiend he needs. The longer you both continue this fantasy then the harder it will be to move on.
First, make it clear you love him as a person. But the fact your a lesbian means yo... (read in full...)
I'm frustrated because during sex, he lasts a few minutes...is this normal?
Q. my boyfriend can hardly ever last long during sex and its getting really frustrating! today he finished in literally less than 2 minutes and we'd hardly gotten into it. is this like a medical problem or normal? i thought he would be able to control ...
A. 13 March 2010: Hmmm..if anything the weed should help prolong the physical reaction.
Some men are just wired to orgasm very quickly. It's not that there's anything medically wrong with him, its just how he's wired. But there are things you can do to compensa... (read in full...)
I could care less for my biological Mom...is this wrong?
Q. Im 19 years and about to graduate high school. My life couldn't be better, even though it's not perfect. I was adopted by my grandparents when I was a baby, after my biological mother had me at the age of 16 but couldn't take care of me. My ...
A. 13 March 2010: Your feelings toward your biological mother are completely understandable and probably justified as well. But your right as well, they are unhealthy. Bottling up feelings inside is a terrible way to deal with corrosive emotions like anger. They rot ... (read in full...)
I hate being gay..help!
Q. I'm gay and hate it.i just cant handle it. It makes me desperate.in my town everyone hates gays . It is complicated cause i also love girls and not satisfied of being gay. If someone know it my life will be miserable and i hate being gay cause my ...
A. 13 March 2010: Being different is the hardest thing you can go through at your age. You need to learn to be tough and not let things get you down. Be very carefull because your vulnerable and dependent on others at your age. Others can indeed make your life very ... (read in full...)
I'm worried that I am gay!
Q. please help me cos i am very worried about this i am 13 i a am worried that i am gay because i get erections thinking about girls but i get that excited feeling every time i see a man and every time i masturbate it takes me a while to get arouse ...
A. 13 March 2010: Your only 13, it doesn't necessarily mean anything. Did you have any male touch you sexually when you were younger? That can implant gay tendecies in males. If not, just try to stick to girls, you may find as your body developes and changes you grow ... (read in full...)
My cousin touches me! Help!
Q. Ok, my older cousin used to touch me all the time. I was 10 years old and he was 13. I didn't know what masterbating was and why he did it, but he used to be my best friend when i was 10. So we used to sit together in the same chair because it was a ...
A. 13 March 2010: Anything sexual at your age is innapropriate. But the fact that he continues to attempt to victimize you makes him very wrong indeed. If you feel the need to tell your praents, by all means do so. If he attempts to do it again, you can also threaten ... (read in full...)
Should I confide in my teacher about my problems at home?
Q. Alright so for the past couple years I've been having trouble at home with my dad and fights every couple of weeks would either result in me getting kicked out for a couple of weeks or me leaving my house for a couple of weeks. Now somehow 3 of my ...
A. 9 January 2010: How are things going?... (read in full...)
How do I stop destroying my relationships?
Q. I have a problem with destroying my own relationships. Between the insecurity, short fuse, and accusations I push guys away left and right. It took me awhile to realize that it is a trend and its my fault. While some things I have every right to get ...
A. 9 January 2010: I applaud you for getting counseling and working on your issues. I'm sorry for what you went through and the betrayl you must certainly feel towards your mother. I just feel you have so much anger over the situation. I think there are 2 realistic ... (read in full...)
My guidance counselor gives me the creeps. What do I do about her?
Q. Hi...I just need some advice on this situation. Okay, my guidance counselor (female) and I spoke with each other regularly for a few weeks because of a near-divorce thingy between my parents that is now resolved. But now she calls me into her office ...
A. 6 January 2010: She should be in tune with how your reacting to her touches or attempts to draw you in. She may just be bad at reading people. But you don't need to feel uncomfortable around her. Just leave her a note that you'd rather not meet with her as you've ... (read in full...)
How do I stop destroying my relationships?
Q. I have a problem with destroying my own relationships. Between the insecurity, short fuse, and accusations I push guys away left and right. It took me awhile to realize that it is a trend and its my fault. While some things I have every right to get ...
A. 6 January 2010: Not to be simplistic but when females have problem with males in their personal lives it can be due to the realtionship with the father or other male figures in your life. Your problems seem rooted in insecurity (abandonment) and anger (resentment). ... (read in full...)
He has Erectile Dysfunction and I am not sure if this is something I can cope with long term
Q. I'm 43, divorced and I've been on the dating scene for 6 years. I started dating this guy a couple of months ago. For the first time since i've been single again, I feel like I found a true match and things were going great. But we are having a ...
A. 6 January 2010: Just talk about it honestly. He should see his doctor to make sure it isn't a medical condition. Being fit doesn't mean there can't be some medical issue causing the problem. If he's healthy and its an anxiety issue, then a temporarily taking viagra ... (read in full...)
He's 2 years older than me and wants to have sex with me, what should I do?
Q. what do i do ??? i was out at this club this lad came over two me and asked me to get with him so i did then he took he to this sofa i sat on his knee and he went to finger me i didnt want him 2 do but i let him he asked for my number so i did ...
A. 6 January 2010: You may like the guy but not be ready for sex. If this is the case, you need to stay away. If you feel your ready for sex you need to adequately address contraception. By that I mean you need to have birth control.
You don't sound ready for sex ... (read in full...)
Why can I only get turned on by my girlfriend? Porn does nothing for me and I'm starting to worry!
Q. Ok this may not seem urgent or even useful but at the moment I am in a very strange predicament, not serious or bad in anyway I do not think but never the less it is quite how should I put, well bugger it it is pure strangeness for me. My girlfriend ...
A. 6 January 2010: Not every guy is turned on by mindless depictions of sex. Porn isn't for everyone nor should it be. Your not weird for not caring for it. It took me until the age of 25 to admit I didn't like strip clubs. I just felt sorry for the girls and was ... (read in full...)
What can we do instead of oral?
Q. i'm currently in a relationship but neither of us are into oral. so i was wondering what other stuff could we do instead?...
A. 6 January 2010: Toys. You can order a vibrator like the pocket rocket or dolphin. But it depends on if you prefer clit stimulation over penetration to get off. Mutual masturbation can be fun with lube.
Learning to full body massage is a great way to prepare ... (read in full...)
I prefer older guys! Should I hold off on dating?
Q. this may sound bad but im 16 and i've noticed lately that im more atracted to guys in like there late late teens or like 22, so like 18-22... i just ind guys my age anoying and inmucher....i just want to find some one to cuddle with and feel safe ...
A. 16 November 2009: No, you should continue to date but in your age range. No more than 1 or 2 years at the most ahead of you. Although you may feel like you are safe with a more "mature" older person. You have to realize, an older person dating and getting close to a ... (read in full...)
He asked to see naked pictures of another woman!
Q. Well, i just want to ask you lady's out there what you would do if you caught your boyfriend out, that he had been asking your BROTHER to see NAKED pictures of my brother's girlfriend. My boyfriend says that its just natural for a lad, and i would ...
A. 9 November 2009: First of all. And let this be the first time and the last time you hear this. It will save you mounds of heart ache and worry. Nothing a man does sexually is because of you. It's because of him and his desires over which he has varying levels ... (read in full...)
Are we expecting too much of friends in the community?
Q. My husband and I have four children, ages 11, 9, 8 and 4. The issue is that we do not get out very often. It's not really that we do not have babysitters. My family is always willing to babysit. I really like people. I mingle easily and love ...
A. 9 November 2009: Geez, what kind of exclusionary children of the corn community did you move to? There's no real answer to mingling except to mingle relentlessly unafraid. Those events are exactly the kind of place you meet contacts that will, in a sense, "sponso... (read in full...)
Should I confide in my teacher about my problems at home?
Q. Alright so for the past couple years I've been having trouble at home with my dad and fights every couple of weeks would either result in me getting kicked out for a couple of weeks or me leaving my house for a couple of weeks. Now somehow 3 of my ...
A. 8 November 2009: That took guts. I'm really proud of you. Let this be the first in a series of healthy realtionships with men for you. ... (read in full...)
"Sort your life out, you aren't a baby anymore"?
Q. Hi, i dont know if im being oversensitive here but i just want some feedback. Im 27 and been doing driving lessons just over a year now.My instructor wants me to book my test in and im just not confident. Last night on my driving lesson h...
A. 7 November 2009: He made an insensitive comment and was a bit of a clod. But maybe it's bothering you because you may feel on some level theres an element of truth in what he's saying. It's not the comment that really hurts, it's what we perceive as the truth in ... (read in full...)
How can I let him know I am over him and just want to be friends?
Q. ok i posted a lot of things on here actually.. im having trouble getting over what happened i explained it in detail in one of my other writings.. long story short i got left for some ghetto girl on homecoming nite for a guy i committed to and...
A. 26 October 2009: I dont think you have accpeted the seperation. When your done with someone, you don't generally want to hang out with them. When one person does, it's something called "unrequited love" thats means, unreturned love. You dont want him back but you... (read in full...)
Should I confide in my teacher about my problems at home?
Q. Alright so for the past couple years I've been having trouble at home with my dad and fights every couple of weeks would either result in me getting kicked out for a couple of weeks or me leaving my house for a couple of weeks. Now somehow 3 of my ...
A. 22 October 2009: I don't wanna get into all the psychological reasons why it's important you talk to your teacher. You just need to be able to learn to take a chance and trust someone. You were let down by your father, then your stepfather. You need to make a ... (read in full...)
How do I tell him to stop using me for sex?
Q. I started seeing this guy for a couple of months. It turned into a him calling me late at night to come over (ending up having sex every time). I didn't want that kind of relationship but i did so bc i liked him a lot. I tried to talk to him abou...
A. 17 October 2009: Good for you! Don't let your heart blind you from spotting a user. Here's my coup-de-text for this guy. "Im sorry I let you use me, but now I know better to avoid guys like you, goodbye" And then never respond to him. ... (read in full...)
Once an abuser, always an abuser??
Q. My ex bf abused me and now he wants me back. He promises hes changed and so on. He says he regrets it and would do anything for me. He admits to be an idiot. He says he loves me- something he never told me when we were in a relationship. He says we ...
A. 17 October 2009: The real question is why are you attracted to an abuser? You need to know the answer to that or you may end up making the same mistake with a different asshole. Were you abused as a child by a fahter or prominent male figure? This may have se... (read in full...)
Is my teacher crossing the line?
Q. Okay, there's this teacher at my High School, and I think he kind of flirts with me a little bit, and I just want to know if he might like me too much. First of all, I don't even have him as a teacher, he's only my homeroom advisor. But we h...
A. 17 October 2009: Okay. Here's the deal. It is totally innapropriate for him to be giving you any kind of signals or putting out "vibes" of any kind toward you. It's against the law for him to try and have a relationship with you. The fact you felt the need to say ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend was drugged and raped and I blame myself.
Q. I am 20 and my girlfriend is 18, We have been dating since high school. I go to college in a town that is 4 hours away from our home town. Last April during our last week of school I invited (begged) her to come down and attend the last class bash ...
A. 9 October 2009: You need to understand some things. One, although talking to counselor seems like it makes things worse, its only keeping the shit stirred up so it doesn't settle in your brain and make you sick forever. You can't repress or minimize the pain and ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend was drugged and raped and I blame myself.
Q. I am 20 and my girlfriend is 18, We have been dating since high school. I go to college in a town that is 4 hours away from our home town. Last April during our last week of school I invited (begged) her to come down and attend the last class bash ...
A. 9 October 2009: You need to understand some things. One, although talking to counselor seems like it makes things worse, its only keeping the shit stirred up so it doesn't settle in your brain and make you sick forever. You can't repress or minimize the pain and ... (read in full...)
Is a live webcam session something I should reasonably be upset about?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend since I was 14. I am 20 now. We have a 3 year old son and have been living together for 4 years now. The other day he accidently left his computer signed onto a porn site. I do not have a problem with him looking at porn, ...
A. 9 October 2009: You married a young man. There are faults built in to every man his age. The fact he was strong enough to own up to what he did and apologize speaks to his character. He was not given to you perfect. You will make him better by sticking to what you ... (read in full...)
Lasting longer in bed
Q. I've just has a circumcision as i suffered from a tight foreskin and frenulum breve. For over 2 years i have suffered with premature ejaculation and can only last 20 seconds before i ejaculated with or without a condom. I'm now waiting for ...
A. 9 October 2009: Unfortunately, theres not a whole lot you can do about this. It's just your particular biology. All you can really do is manage it. One trick is to masturbate and ejaculate prior to having sex. Sometimes the second orgasm will take you longer and ... (read in full...)
During sex I decided it wasnt right..was that rape?
Q. I met up with this guy and concented to sex...then during sex I decided this wasnt right and asked him repeatedly to stop....he didnt, I even tried moving but I wasnt strong enough, when it was all over I just let it go and stayed the night....I ...
A. 9 October 2009: Yes, it qualifies as rape. It's a bad situation for both when something like this happens. As a technical matter it's rape. As a practical matter, I wouldn't try to bring charges.
1. The defense attorney will ask "Did you try to scream to get h... (read in full...)
Should I go ahead and do it already? I'm a virgin.
Q. I'm a 34 gay man and haven't had a sexual relationship yet. Being this age now, I feel frustrated for not happening. I have a kind of boy friend who doesn't want commitment but likes me and I like him, we've being seen each other but since I don't ...
A. 9 October 2009: Yes, for the love of God, go ahead and do it already. ... (read in full...)
Will he forgive me for cheating?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for several years. We live together, and have for the past 3 years. After years of being together, I cheated on him. I am not going to make any excuses. I know what I did was wrong. I knew it when I did it. ...
A. 9 October 2009: There are some basic reasons why women cheat. Heres the big three in my opinion.
1. You don't really love him and are looking to sabotage this relationship to get out of it.
2. You sabotage relationships when you feel things are going too go... (read in full...)
Is it possible to be aroused by a girl who you simply don't see the sex appeal of?
Q. I have a new girlfriend and she is great. She is beautiful, funny, cool and I am really proud to introduce her to my friends and family as my new girl. I have literally never dated a girl I feel such a strong connection with. Everything should be ...
A. 9 October 2009: I think you feel more comfortable with heavier women because you feel it takes the pressure off, you don't feel like they will judge you harshly because they're lucky to have you. It puts you in control and makes you forget your insecurities at ... (read in full...)
How do I find a girlfriend without having to go out?
Q. I'm at university and hate "going out". I seriously hate it, but I do it anyway so that people don't think I'm a hermit. I was at a big party, and our group split up all around the club. I felt retarded since I hate clubs and paid to get in, so I ...
A. 9 October 2009: You have the stink of desperation on you. I don't know how else to say it. If I can sense this it's bad. Trust me, women can smell it like sharks smell blood. Next to Taco Bell farts, it's the least attractive smell to a woman. Lets recap. Yo... (read in full...)
Is there still hope that I can make changes and save our marriage?
Q. I have been married for 15 years. My husband has asked to leave... I have asked for him to stay and let us try... we have been trying for years. I am not able to quite. He has agreed to stay in our home (by my begging) until he finds a place which ...
A. 6 October 2009: Okay, complex situation here. I'm just going to respond to what you've written. Obviously, he'd give a different account of the past. Because you were hurt and abandoned you have shut down emotionally. Fear of being coupled with unacknowled... (read in full...)
If I can get her into it it's OK, right?
Q. if i was in the mood for sex and my gf isn`t and i did things to make her horney like foreplay is it safe to assume i can proceed? if she resisted at first but then gave in then it`s ok? its not rape if she ends up enjoying it right?...
A. 5 October 2009: No, it's not really rape. Relax your not a rapist, your just being a shit boyfriend. You see, she's a real human being with feelings, thoughts, dreams and a right not to have sex if she doesn't want to. You need to learn to respect that. She will ... (read in full...)
I need words of wisdom. I'm a girl in a dark place...
Q. I think all my problems start with the vivid memories of my childhood. I remember I must of been only four, I was pounding on the door, screaming for my mother and when the door opened, another woman was standing there - naked. It must of took us ...
A. 5 October 2009: Let me analyze it for you, okay?
Your father broke your heart early in life. At that age a girl is supposed to be able to look to her father as a rock, a guide, and you learned all too soon that people are fallible. That's all. He was just a f... (read in full...)
How can I boost my bosom?
Q. i am 14 years old and my breasts are too small they look like one cup! What should i do to make them grow or atleast to make them look bigger without using medical stuff??...
A. 4 October 2009: Not all girls sprout at the same time. You'll likely be around your mothers size eventually. Relax, your normal and fine. ... (read in full...)
Please someone tell me how I stop all this negativity and hurt?
Q. I've been batterd and beaten I've been in fights I've been hurt physically and emotionally. my first love was killed and the murderer got off because I broke his nose ribs and hurt his neck. I got severe probation, house arrest and was court ordered ...
A. 4 October 2009: Dude, you may not like this answer, but I know it will help.
If you do positive spiritual things, it's like a shield that protects you from negative internal and external influences. If you commit to starting a spiritual path, your life will see... (read in full...)
In love with two men, so confused, any advice?
Q. I have been married for 4 years, and have been with my husband for almost 8. We also have a child and have a good life. The thing is I am also in love with some one else. The guy doesn't really know, I'm sure he has some sort of idea. We text and ...
A. 4 October 2009: Ah, the grass is always greener, isn't it? Your free to fantasize about a life with another man, but never have to deal with the reality that he's not any better, really, than what you got. He never got the opportunity to hurt you, bore you, fart on ... (read in full...)
Should I take the internship or move in with my boyfriend?
Q. My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship. We've been apart now for 8 months, and I will see him first in 3 more months. We both want to be closer to each other, and I would love to move in with him after New Years. However, I am a ...
A. 4 October 2009: He's basically told you if you take the internship it will be the end of the relationship. He is forcing you to chose. That is just not fair. It's his prerogative to do so, but it's a lousy thing to do to you. If he truly loves you, he will wait six ... (read in full...)
Is a live webcam session something I should reasonably be upset about?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend since I was 14. I am 20 now. We have a 3 year old son and have been living together for 4 years now. The other day he accidently left his computer signed onto a porn site. I do not have a problem with him looking at porn, ...
A. 4 October 2009: Hell yes! You've got a kid! That's money that should be going to the baby. This is why kids should not make their first relationships turn into marriages. Men his age can hardly be trusted to care for a fern let alone a wife and kid. Yes, it's a ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend was drugged and raped and I blame myself.
Q. I am 20 and my girlfriend is 18, We have been dating since high school. I go to college in a town that is 4 hours away from our home town. Last April during our last week of school I invited (begged) her to come down and attend the last class bash ...
A. 1 October 2009: Don't go do something stupid to "recover your manhood". Christ, thats dumb advice. You'll end up getting caught and going to jail and throwing your life down the drain. For some reason the justice system targets vigilantes worse than they target ... (read in full...)
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