A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm gay and hate it.i just cant handle it. It makes me desperate.in my town everyone hates gays . It is complicated cause i also love girls and not satisfied of being gay. If someone know it my life will be miserable and i hate being gay cause my friends hate gays and no one know that im gay and in my town if u r gay u go to jailhow to give up being gay Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2010): I just read your question or I would have responded sooner. I agree with the answer written on March 22nd. The situation you find yourself in now will change as you get older. Life won't always be this hard. You might be going through issues so that later on you can help others feeling the same way. Just hang in there and don't give up on what really makes you happy........ Peace To You... xoxo..
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2010): If you find girls attractive take advantage of those desires and get into that world. Most people have gay desires at one point in their life, some are just scared at the thought. Doesn't mean anything. People are always changing. What you think you are now may not be what you will end up being a few years from now.The desire that will get stronger is the desire that you feed the most. If you don't like having gay tendencies then quit doing things that will encourage it. Focus on only one desire, and in this case considering where you live, focus on your feelings for girls, immerse yourself into that world and explore it to the fullest. Let yourself be seduced by it. You never know where it may lead you.
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A
male
reader, Heartbroken in love  +, writes (13 March 2010):
You don't sound gay to me. I don't ever hear truely heterosexual people say they hate being heaterosexual. And if a heterosexual person says they are also into the same sex are consider bisexual (confused).
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A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (13 March 2010):
I'm sorry about what you are going through. Go to http://www.iraqilgbtuk.blogspot.com. They will be able to put you in touch with counselors who you can safely speak to about your situation. If your life is threatened they can also help you find a safe place to go. Nobody is perfect. All of us are unhappy with the way we are. We are all seeking to make changes in our lives in something. So don't let anybody judge you or make you feel any less human. You mean something and you can come through all your problems. So take a deep breath, get some help in working out your feelings. As a previous poster said, at your age you may have feelings that can change as you get older. You are still growing. All the best.
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A
female
reader, Angzw +, writes (13 March 2010):
I'm sorry about what you are going through. Go to http://www.iraqilgbtuk.blogspot.com. They will be able to put you in touch with counselors who you can safely speak to about your situation. If your life is threatened they can also help you find a safe place to go. Nobody is perfect. All of us are unhappy with the way we are. We are all seeking to make changes in our lives in something. So don't let anybody judge you or make you feel any less human. You mean something and you can come through all your problems. So take a deep breath, get some help in working out your feelings. As a previous poster said, at your age you may have feelings that can change as you get older. You are still growing. All the best.
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A
male
reader, Kenj  +, writes (13 March 2010):
 Dude your still developing, but it sounds like you know what you want but cant have it because of the stigma placed on you by society.
If your gay, it's probably not something you can switch off that simple. Thats like asking me a strait guy to become gay, I wouldnt be able to do it.
You may find later your bi-sexual or even strait, but time will tell on that.
It will turn out in the future, its a problem right now because you cant go anywhere else other than your home town.
Try and focus on getting a good education and getting a good job then at the end of it, the world is yours for the taking then. There are a lot of countries who are more libral for gay people.
You will find someone who loves you later on in life, dont give up.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2010): Dont hate yourself its not your falt that people were you live dont like gay people I understand what is was like to be 13 i was in the army cadets and the army and the cadets both did not like gay people and i allso had a girlfriend to keep it covard up At the end of the day you might grow out of it you might not but what ever you decide to do with your life make it a good one Its your life no one elses
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2010): firstly to laura 1318 - what a a narrow minded attitude, we are all equal, gay, by, sraight whatever.. Accepting others for who they are and treating everyone with respect is the most important thing, narrow mindendess is not fair and not helping this young guy.
to the poster... I agree with sirenablusera. Also u are very young, give yrself time to work out who u are, this may be a phase that will pass, but if it isnt then thats ok too. Yes, u may be bi but u are very young and feelings may change, you dont have to tell anyone of yr feelings, confusion about sexuality is normal at yr age, a lot of kids go though it. Dont let anyone tell you that being gay/bi isnt ok or that gays are bad ppl. My best friend is gay and she is a great, kind and caring person!
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2010): You are who you are, try fighting it if you want. but you will loose.
Sexuality isnt as bigger deal as everyone else thinks. It is easy to hide and really you can live a very normal life.
In the area you are in you will either have to move away, or learn discreasion. Just act like the other guys and who will know the difference?
You will just have a guy room mate, thats all they will think and that you just havent met the right girl.
However if you feel its important and want to come out then perhaps you should move somewhere more accepting. I mean do you really need the hassle?
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A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (13 March 2010):
 What I meant to say in my last post is that I see you're between 13 and 15.
You're still a teenager and not finished developing and growing. A lot of times, our true sexual orientation isn't "set in stone" until we're older, say, 18 or 20.
I'm completely straight, but when I was your age (13-15) I thought I might be a lesbian, I had no interest in boys at all and I began to wonder "why don't I like guys?" If you are gay, it doesn't mean you're a bad person. But, what I mean to say is, are you sure you're gay? A lot of young people go through periods of questioning and uncertainty.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (13 March 2010):
 Try to focus on God. He is the one who can change your attitude and make you straight. Pray to Him and be patient.You cannot change over night and it will take time.
Don't reaffirm that you are gay and try to change your lifestyle. Try not to mix with any guys that has gay tendencies.You don't have to tell any one that you are a closet gay.
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A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera +, writes (13 March 2010):
How UNJUST!!!! I hate people who persecute gays or pick on them.
It's completely unfair that gays get treated so terribly. That doesn't mean that you deserve that terrible treatment.
I hope that you can get away from that town. You're really young; maybe you can go elsewhere to study when it's time for college. You're only 13-15 but your English isn't bad. Maybe that would be an options for you.
Maybe some day things will change. It's really sad, but there was a time in America when minorities, like blacks, didn't enjoy the same civil rights as whites. Some people had the courage to stand up and fight for their rights. There was sadly a price to pay but things changed for the better and civil rights were won.
Every day I pray that gay people the world over will be able to stand proud in public and be treated with respect and dignity. That people the world over will be judged by their character and not who they sleep with, or want to sleep with. Don't lose heart.
You're special, and deserve love and acceptance. There's nothing wrong with being gay. I hope that eventually the world realizes that. You can still be gay and be an excellent person.
You say you also love girls? Do you mean that you have girls as close friends? Or are you also attracted to girls sexually? Would you enjoy kissing a girl? Could you be bisexual?
If you're uncomfortable being gay, you don't have to tell anyone. Is there anyone you feel comfortable telling, who you trust with your secret? Be careful who you confide in, though... some people cannot be trusted. My friend was gay and confided in me... I promised to keep it a secret, and kept my promise. One of my roomates found out, though, and she told everyone.
It's completely unfair how gays are treated in your town, but that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with being gay.
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A
male
reader, LessonsLearned +, writes (13 March 2010):
Being different is the hardest thing you can go through at your age. You need to learn to be tough and not let things get you down. Be very carefull because your vulnerable and dependent on others at your age. Others can indeed make your life very difficult. Focus on school and get a plan together to move someplace where they are more accepting of Gays. Every place has them, seek out those places that welcome you and reject the places that don't.
If your Gay then you just have to accept it. There is no way to change these type of things. You will only ruin your life if you reject yourself and will ikely ruin the life of a girl as well. Accept yourself, find people that accept you, and take care of them. That's the best advice I can give you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2010): I don't have your problem, but... If you float inbetween never giving of your heart, you will stay confused. If you want to have clarity, find a girl and fall in love with her. The people you have in your life shape your preference more than anything. That's what I believe anyway.
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