A
female
age
30-35,
*3azzie
writes:this may sound bad but im 16 and i've noticed lately that im more atracted to guys in like there late late teens or like 22, so like 18-22... i just ind guys my age anoying and inmucher....i just want to find some one to cuddle with and feel safe with...corny i no lol but what should i do; not date untill im 18 or just live life and dont let things just happen as they are? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2009): Well 1st of all, id like to comment about the 1st guy. anyone can be a bad person ie rapist/pedo/killer, age has nothing to do with it, soo your interested in older guys, so what, im interested in older woman, even my 1st sex expierence was with an older woman, ok she was 38, n i was 12, but who cares, i wanted it, anyhoo, thats beyond the point, what im saying is, if you like older guys, go for it, theres nothing wrong with that, its not like thats a bad thing and you can help it. so yes, kepp liking them, its up to you!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2009): I'm sorry, but that's ridiculous to try to date someone that advanced from you. Like it or not, you;re still a child. That person cold be a rapist, pedophile or other awful things. I say hold off on relationships with those guys just for now, but a few years down the road, go ahead. Good luck!
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reader, ForeverDawn +, writes (26 November 2009):
 I understand you I'm the same way I have never liked guys my age. I am 18 and my current boyfriend is 24 we have been together for over 5 years and things work great!!! Guys our age are immature I am with you on that one they are a waste of time LOL Good luck finding your older sweetheart!!!
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female
reader, oliviaclairex  +, writes (25 November 2009):
 If you're mature enough then I don't think it's a problem. Girls mature faster than guys, so older guys with younger girls sometimes work out. I suggest you don't go 20+ as they may abuse your naivity and think they can get away with treating you differently.
I'm the same as you but I tend not to get into a relationship with them, since I'm young and I've been in relationships and realised I don't and a serious one yet. If they like you they should respect you and your thoughts, so if you like a guy older why don't you see them and have fun! and then if it gets serious, speak to your parents, let them know how you feel but listen to them as they care about you and are more wiser at this kind of stuff(:
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reader, Emaz help +, writes (16 November 2009):
 When i was 14 i was with a 25year old, hmmmm i know it sounds slightly wrong now but at that age i was mature and could handle it and ever since then i've never been with anyone my age, they are always at least a few years older so i understand how you feel. If you do fall for an older guy then please don't rush anything as you're young and they've had more experience with things. I don't know how your parents are with dating but maybe you should speak to them first if you do fall for an older guy and ge their opinion but you also need to explain to them that you understand the age gap and that they can trust you and that you can handle it. But please please do make sure you CAN handle it before you go into anything
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2009): It's fine being attracted to older guys but there will be some more MATURE (not macchur!) guys your age xxx
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reader, LessonsLearned +, writes (16 November 2009):
No, you should continue to date but in your age range. No more than 1 or 2 years at the most ahead of you. Although you may feel like you are safe with a more "mature" older person. You have to realize, an older person dating and getting close to a person your age is doing it purely to enjoy you as a sexual object.
Most girls who are attacted to older persons are dealing with the loss of a father figure early in their lives. Is this you? If so, you have to realize your desire for older men is a latent need for a father figure you were deprived of. This makes you vulnerable to predatory men, so be careful.
If not, just be careful, the men in the age range you are attracted to are mainly interested in your sexual organs and could care less about you as a person. So find a guy who likes you for you. That's the way to go.
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reader, pinktopaz +, writes (16 November 2009):
I think you should ask your parents this question, because they are the ones that would throw your older boyfriend in jail if they did not approve.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2009): I think you should hold off on dating the older guys at least. One reason being is because you cannot properly spell the word, immature. I know that sounds harsh and I'm not trying to come off as rude at all, just want to help.
Also, you mentioned that you want to feel safe and cuddle. That shows that you have some sort of void in your life that a relationship might notbe able to fill. And it is SO easy to fall hard for a guy at your age and state of mind.
Also a relationship is so much more than feeling safe and cuddling, especially when it's with someone older and more mature than yourself.
Alot of girls your age date at 16 so I don't really see a problem with it(although most of their relationships usually end up in heartache at such an age). Now dating someone older, that can cause some problems that you may not be thinking about.
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reader, biggiemac1000 +, writes (16 November 2009):
Well for one thing, you sound really ignorant saying that guys your own age are "anoying and inmucher". That'd be annoying and immature. Do you really think you can handle an older man?
Despite what you may think makes them older and more attractive, because any woman can acknowledge the appeal of an experienced man, there are much higher expectations that you may not be ready to take on.
I'd say that if you are 16, don't date anyone older than high school age, so many 18 or 19, to be on the safe side, because that is pretty common anyways. Any older just gets to be iffy and sketchy, and the motives of men who are that old and dating girls in high school instead of their own are questionable without a date. Most 22 year old men don't date 16 year old girls because "they are cute," but because they are easy to convince into doing things. You'll only get yourself into a bad situaton where you can't do anything about it if you ended up getting involved with someone of that age.
My suggestion to you is not to worry. College will come, and so will the perks of being on your own and starting your own life; then you can date whoever you want and don't have to be concerned about the consequences of it.
Many 16-19 year old boys will provide the same comfort and protection you would be able to find in an older man, and want to do whatever it is that will make you happy, you just have to be willing to dig deep and look past the goofy high school boy look, because there are so many sweet guys waiting for the girl of their dreams. Don't think of it as waiting around until your old enough but enjoying the life you are living now, while you still can. I think, if you are so consumed with a boyfriend who doesn't have the same connections as you, you will miss out on a lot of opportunities. You are only in high school once, and you'd regret not taking full advantage.
Try not to grow up so fast, and be yourself. Life will come to you.
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