A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship. We've been apart now for 8 months, and I will see him first in 3 more months. We both want to be closer to each other, and I would love to move in with him after New Years. However, I am a student (he is too) and for the sake of future jobs I feel obliged to apply for internships that I can only do now while I am still a student. These internships that I need I can not take after graduation, and they are in another country all together. If I take the internship I will be away from my boyfriend for another 6 months at the least, and without opportunities to visit him (as I will be working full-time). When I talked to my boyfriend about this he said that I had to choose family or career. And after trying to talk to him about this a few times, I still have not gotten any clearer answer from him on what he thinks. I am worried that if I choose what is best for me and my education/future career, I will loose him. I hate the thought of having to be away from him any longer then we already have been, and somehow it now feels as if I am the only thing keeping us apart with my wishes to do the internship. I hope for any advice on how I can go about this.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2009): Thank you so much for your replies! I am really feeling guilty for wanting to do the internships, but Im trying to see that I shouldn't be. This could secure my future jobs and so make sure that my future family is better off. So in a way I am choosing family, and career too.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (4 October 2009):
I agree with the post below. He's put you in a a bit of cruel position by forcing you to choose. Which means he's not really looking out for you, but for his own interests. You'd be better of takking the internship and finding another guy who will let you be who you want to be.
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A
male
reader, LessonsLearned  +, writes (4 October 2009):
He's basically told you if you take the internship it will be the end of the relationship. He is forcing you to chose. That is just not fair. It's his prerogative to do so, but it's a lousy thing to do to you. If he truly loves you, he will wait six months so you can do this thing that means so much for your future. Just make sure he knows how much you mean to him and how much this means to you to prepare properly for your future. Anyone that truly loved you and deserved you would never stand in your way. Take the internship.
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