A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Okay, there's this teacher at my High School, and I think he kind of flirts with me a little bit, and I just want to know if he might like me too much. First of all, I don't even have him as a teacher, he's only my homeroom advisor. But we had to do this project in his class and while we're working on it, I would look up from my desk and he would always be staring at me. I would smile and look back down, and when I would look back up, he would still be staring at me in a really odd way. When I would go to his desk and ask him for something, he would blush before he handed it to me. Sometimes in his class, he comes up behind my chair and stands there for like 10 minutes at a time, and just watch me write, or sometimes he pats my back. Or if someone would be playing around in class and insult me, he would be like "I don't want to hear anymore of that." In a really serious way. One time in class he asked us to take out notes or something, and I reached in my folder to get them, and he's like I wish you all would work as hard as *my name* does, and smiled. Then, when I go into his class, he always says hi to me, smiles and asks me how I am. And when he calls for attendance, he never even lifts his head when he calls anyone else's name, but when he calls mine, he always looks up, smiles and says "hey, there you are." One day, when I was in the hall in the morning, he looked at me, and we smiled at eachother, I did'nt think anything about it, but when I turned back towards him, he was still looking at me. And the thing that really made me think he likes me, was when I was in walking down the hall with my friends one day, he came up and started walking beside me. My best friend, who is also my cousin by the way, comes and puts his arms around me and says "hey honey"(in a jokingly way, not being weird), and my other friend, who didn't know we were cousins said "you two so totally need to go out." Then my teacher got the most worried, choked-up look on his face, and starts looking at us. I said "uhhh we're cousins" and he relaxed and smiled at me in a really flirty kind of way. Again, it's not like he's obsessed with me, and he does'nt try anything on me. He's not like that at all, he's honestly a really nice guy, and he's not married either. This is his first year of teaching, and I think he's only like 23, and even kind of a nerd a little bit, and a lot of people say things about him, but he just seems so nice, and I might even like him a little(which really worries me.) It's just I don't want anything to happen that would even come close to getting him, or me, in trouble. I don't want to get too close to him because I think something might happen between us. But I don't want to avoid him, because I'm not even sure he likes me, and if he does'nt, and I avoid him, he might think I don't like him at all, or I'm mad at him. It's just, I feel so comfortable when I'm around him and he's such a great guy to get to know. I talk to him sometimes about my personal life(not in a flirty way) but he's really easy to talk to about anything. Again, please don't think he's like a pervert or something, I mean he's never done anything out of the ordinary for a regular guy, but my friends have started to notice the way he gives me extra attention, and they say he's really crossing the line, but I honestly don't think he is. I just want serious answers about if he is just being nice, or if he is actually flirting with me, because I can't tell. Thanks everyone :)
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best friend, cousin, flirt, my teacher Reply to this Question
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female
reader, mysterious_blonde_lady  +, writes (1 November 2009):
Doesnt sound right to me. You're over 16 so that makes it less weird, but even still he is meant to be a teacher, meant to be professional. You already know he fancies you he is quite young; however it seems a bit creepy and he shouldnt be touching you. So long as he doesnt try and make any moves i wouldn't worry about it; if he tried to make moves on you i;d keep well away because any teacher no matter what age they are, that tries to push things with one of their students is in the job for the wrong reason.
A
female
reader, kitty_3 +, writes (19 October 2009):
 it's unprofessional for him to be touching you, etc. and it seems like you only like him because he might like you. don't waste your time with him; you can do better!
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A
male
reader, Half_spoken_soul  +, writes (17 October 2009):
Would you regret after maybe ten years if you discover this nerd like stupid guy was really into you? Maybe he really loved you. So,better take a chance, if its love, you both will know. And in love everything is fair. We live for love. Dont we?
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A
female
reader, ellie:) +, writes (17 October 2009):
 change your advisory class..... or talk to one of your teachers
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A
female
reader, reign154 +, writes (17 October 2009):
Hi. Ok yeah reading throught this i can see that he find you attractive. you say how he stands behind you or puts his hand on your back this is a way of showing that he has affection for you and some way wants to be physically close to you without pushing the boundary. His face was upset when he though your cousin was a guy you were interested in really says he wants to pursue something with you. i fear that it may just be sexual becasue you say how he is a nerd like person. He could have been the quiet type or nerd type in high school and now that he is a teacher i guess he is trying to use you to get what he couldnt as a kid which is a chance with a girl that he finds attractive. I would say dont worry about it but yes keep your distance, you never know what signlas he thinks you are sending even when your not. So i would say push him off of you by ignoring his flirtiness or making it known in the classroom or whever in his ear distant that you are seeing someone. This will get him to back off without you having to tell him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2009): He's into you. It's not like you're making all this up right? Its the way he acts, he makes you unsure of where you've got him, and you think it's not normal. So then no: it's not normal, he is probably singling you out and being extra nice to you. For whatever reason. Even if he never intends to go any further, his behaviour is causing you to question his intentions. And that should not happen. You should not have to worry about those things at all with your teacher. Therefor it is inappropriate.I will suggest you tell one of your other teachers and avoid him from this point on. You're not his friend. You're his pupil. Him even being your friend is inappropriate. So stop thinking you are friends or whatever, and get him to stop.
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A
male
reader, Red Green 0289 +, writes (17 October 2009):
Sounds like this young teacher may find you attractive. He needs to learn to not do this, and keep his feelings better hidden. Your right in keeping some seperation here as if he was tempted to 'cross the line' he could easily lose everything that he's worked for. Educators can NOT become invovled with students. He's not there to find a wife, girlfreind or next lay- dating at your office is bad enough, but when your charged with the education of our nations YOUTH, you can't be tempted to use the student population as a dating pool.Your approach sounds fine... keep some distance, don't tempt him, don't lead him on... be freindly (socail), but not flurty. You need to enjoy life, date, do the normal healthy things you should in HS, and have fun. If you find yourself not wanting to be with a guy that you like for fear of 'hurting' this teacher, (i.e. your putting his needs ahead of your own) you need to seriously rethink your thoughts.Good luck- nice to have a question that's not about a HS crush on a teacher! Enjoy!
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A
male
reader, LessonsLearned +, writes (17 October 2009):
Okay. Here's the deal. It is totally innapropriate for him to be giving you any kind of signals or putting out "vibes" of any kind toward you. It's against the law for him to try and have a relationship with you. The fact you felt the need to say your were cousins in front of him is a sign this guy is developing a very wrong relatioship with you. You should be able to talk to him about personal things. He should be there to give you guidance and advice. For him to be misinterpreting that as a girl/guy relationship building thing is totally wrong.I know he seems like he's being kind and caring but the fact he seems to want a sexual grown up relationship with you makes it all a lie. He's violating the trust parents gave to him to give you guidance and knowledge and is using your naivety to try and take advantage of you to satisfy his sexual urges. It's wrong, he's wrong and you should stay away from this guy.
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