A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:(Yes, i know,move on ,many fishes in the sea. I'm a picky person, im not really into relationship nor do i go of and look for one,Take this into consideration. I know im young but its now that counts.) Over her one month vacation she tells me and says '' Where over,i don't want anything to do with you''I couldn't be anymore speechless. The month before she left (or 2 weeks ,before we broke up) We spent literally every minute together, we were so good. Yes we had our problems but we always worked it out. I knew things about her not other person in the world knew. She told me i made her happy,she did things for me that she didn't even do for her own parents. Things seemed great. We would always talk, until night, gave each other space when needed. We were on a good pace, we had that love but also a friend bond.She always talked about how i calmed her down at times and that she never got bored of my stories and talks. I was one of the few people she could tell anything, she even wrote me love notes,which she hated. Fast forward. Shes back from vacation. (This isn't the first time we broke up, i dont know why,but it felt different this time) We talk , she acts now as if she hates me. Were cursing at each other like dogs. The next day, i go over and see her. (Her sister, boyfriend have the same thing going. She left,they were great. They talk, she changes and breaks up with him)She acts completely different. She wouldn't talk to me or look at me. Time passes and she gives me something she picked up for me on vacation.We sit down and watch clips of her on vacation. The happiness and warm feeling we used to have fills the room. I see a picture of her and some dude,but i ignore it. (Of course i was pissed of, but where not going out,so what can i do) We sit down and watch T.V. Her sister boyfriend and i have talked of something to do,and we try it (To proceed and ask them, ''What do you want with us'') So i ask. She acts dumb and keeps saying ''i don't understand your question. She never answered any of the question. Practicably in tears,i try walking away And leaving. As i do,she holds my hand and says ''but aren't you gonna watch the movie with me'' . This happens a few times, until her mom comes in and i stop. She always seemed not to look at me, and tried to ignore me that day. She was clearly forcing herself, i know her pretty well :l.So i leave and she gives me a huge, with a sarcastic smile (Not does smart ass Smiles, a smile that was trying to hide sadness, not about me, but about many things).Next day (Today ;3)She Messages me, saying ''Sorry for being fucked up'' and we talk, and have a normal conversation. Laugh's here and there. Talk about her vacation. We talk about something (She said it with some harsh tones) We get to the part about the guy. I found out, she meet this guy last year. This year they talked and stuff and she told me hes the only one who truly has her heart. As confused as i was,i couldn't understand because, if that was the case, how come she would say all those things and do so many things. (Yes,she may have been trying to force herself, but she told me she wasn't,[ I'm taking her word,which i believe. We practicably swore on being honest numerous times through the conversation ] She couldn't be lying, she looked WAY to happy. The things she told me. The things we said. Her smiles,couldn't be fake. She was much happier then she was at the start of the year.)I then ask her ''is there ever gonna be an us?'' She goes on to say ''For now no, i can't see myself with you anymore (Another thing i can't believe)as for the future, i don't know. Shes told me while she was away ,she learned many things (which help make the decision of the break up) It's as if her personality towards me has changed completely) She then goes on to say ''I still have love for you, but just as a friend'' (Now,the way she used love is a bit different from others,you'll see why now) she mentions my One of my closest friends, whom i known since practicably birth, i say i love him. She then goes on to say ''you love him?'' in a way like ''love shouldn't be use in this term''. We talk about being great friends, talking about stil doing stuff we did as a couple,just with out the Lovey douby stuff. Another point where things seem of.She told me about how she never before tried to be friends with her EX (Which is true).I'm confused guys. From her actions and knowing how she hides things (WHICH, she does a lot. She never apologizes, ect. She has a big sense of pride)I don't know what to do. I love this girl guys. Yes, give me a few months,give her a while (she doesn't go of looking for guys, said before,said today. She said she wasn't gonna in a relationship anything now) we may move on but i don't want to. Honestly i can't. Girl have already tried,but i can't, I still love her.I may be young,but this is what i want now.Yes I'm young,but i can clearly say i know what love is. It may not be in love or whatever you want to call it. I don't need a stupid label to tell me how i feel about this girl. We have a bond,and it seems that what ever changed her mind on vacation is a big source of all this. None of this was expected. She talked about doing new things this year, changing for the better, stop harming herself. Trying new things Ect.I may be young,Immature ,I don't care what you want to call it but i know how i feel about this girl. I will go after this girl,until she has to call my some crazy pyshco I just don't want to make the wrong choice. What does it sound to you guys? Does she still any type of relationship connection or am i just some stupid kid in denial of life, and accepting this (Something that happened in a split second) Thoughts? Small speeches? Anything
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male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (12 September 2010):
 Ok, so I've weeded out the points I feel are most important in your post:
"I then ask her ''is there ever gonna be an us?'' She goes on to say ''For now no, i can't see myself with you anymore (Another thing i can't believe)as for the future, i don't know."
"(This isn't the first time we broke up, i dont know why,but it felt different this time) We talk , she acts now as if she hates me. Were cursing at each other like dogs."
"I found out, she meet this guy last year. This year they talked and stuff and she told me hes the only one who truly has her heart."
"She then goes on to say ''I still have love for you, but just as a friend"
"I will go after this girl,until she has to call my some crazy pyshco I just don't want to make the wrong choice."
... Dude... you're in major denial here. How many hints does she have to give you that she's not interested in you as anymore than a friend?? Saying that you'll go after her until she calls you a crazy psycho is a little worrying to be honest. It makes me think that you're quite happy to ignore reality and be overly persistent to get what you want, simply because you refuse to believe what she says that she wants- which is not you... That's flat out selfish bro... I hate to say it, but it's too true to ignore... there's more than one fish in the sea...
Chasing this girl is not the answer I can promise you that.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2010): I dated my ex for over a year. I went away to a six week program and realized how free I was without him around. He was insanely jealous. I put up with it because I loved him deeply. But being away from him for the first time during our relationship I realized how horrible it really was. I dumped him.
To him it must have seemed like what you are describing. We were perfectly happy, I went away, I changed. I didn't change I just realized what it could be like. I met another boy, the man I'm still dating after two years together.
My ex pursued me for over a year, all the while I'm dating another guy. My ex finally stopped after I rejected his attempted kiss. A month later he meets a new girl. They get engaged two months after that.
Things change, life happens. You love her then pursue her but know that it might not work out. I could tell you of another story of a friend of mine who's gf dated another guy but he eventually won her back.
It totally depends.
Good Luck.
I know, and you know, no matter what we tell you you'll try to win her back. The heart wants what it wants and the brain won't tell it different.
Be careful you will most likely be hurt over and over again.
Act quickly to prevent her from dating someone else.
Do something so extraordinary that she'll fall head over heels again.
Be careful though.
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