A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend continues to force things I don't like on me after I told her I don't like them [ie I tell her I'm not a cat person/allergic, she keeps dumping her cats in my lap; I tell her I don't like going certain places and she still always insists on going there, etc]. When she doesn't get her way, she cries or gets angry. Sometimes I go with it, sometimes I don't, but earlier today I got fed up and told her to knock it off or I was gone. Was I right or should I just put up with it for the sake of the relationship? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 September 2010):
 Seems like she is pushing and testing your boundaries, like a 5 year old child does with his/her parents. In a relationship that is really immature, IMHO.
The whole "if you don't do what I want you don't love me" attitude screams of insecurity and seems a tad controlling.
And the fact that you have to put it out there, that if she can not accept a no, you are leaving. Do you really think a relationship where one person feels they HAVE to issue ultimatums in order to not do, what the other one demands of them, is a healthy relationship?
I think you two need to learn how to sit down and talk to each other and to hear each other.
A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (20 September 2010):
 You were completely justified in saying that. She doesn't seem to care about others at all, and staying with her in spite of that isn't going to make her snap out of it. She needs to learn to think outside of herself. Ending the relationship, or at least having a serious discussion about possibly ending it, will get that message across.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2010): I think you was absolutely right with what you said. You can't keep putting up with this, and she needs to understand how all of this is making you feel. Have you told her how you feel about her behaviour, and that you have had enough? Does she seriously understand how you are feeling? She might think it is all a bit of a game. If you make it clear to her that you are serious now, and won't put up with this kind of treatment, she might understand how bad things are for you.
I guess you could put up with it for the sake of the relationship, but it will mean you will be unhappy. Which could result in you walking away anyway. So putting your foot down now is a good idea in my opinion. Hopefully, she will realise how her behaviour is affecting you, and you can both try and sort something out. But if she still doesn't take you seriously, I don't think you will have much to lose by walking away.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (20 September 2010):
 She keeps dumping cats on you after you've told her you're allergic? lol, that's weird..
It kinda depends on how often these things happen... and what places does she insist on going to? Do you suggest alternative places? Do you go out with her often?
She could be just wanting to do more things with you...
Having said that- if it annoys you so much for you to question the relationship then your opinion is the only one that matters.
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