A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:For about a week or two now I have been tormented with a realization. I fell in love with my first cousin. The more I tried to ignore it, and pretend it wasn't there (I live with her and her brothers) the more obvious it became that something was up. (I only hang out with her and not really anyone else in the house so she was the only one who picked up on it.) So she asked me what was up, and I asked her if her noodles were done cooking. (CUZ THAT'S NOT AN OBVIOUS DEFLECTION!)Later that night we went for a walk (as we often do) and she wanted to show me her favorite spot in the neighborhood. She took me there to talk to me because she could see that I did not want to talk about it at the house where everyone was. We got there and were joking around and having a good time and then she asked me again "so whats going on?" I took a deep breath, finished my cigarette, and turned to her. I explained first that it had been bothering me for a while and didn't want to say anything because I didn't want to ruin our friendship. Then I finally came out with it "I like you." (UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE CENTURY)She was stunned "OH!" and we talked it through. I told her that the night before I couldn't sleep, so I looked on the net and found that in parts of the U.S. (i.e. CA) it is legal to marry AND have kids with first cousins. That in normal non-related relationships (Really the furthest you can get away to is 50th cousin) the birth defect rate is 2%-3%, and first cousins are only 4%-6%. Also that in the Bible there is nothing said against cousin relationships, (BIBLE NEVER IMPLIES RULES IT STATES THEM) and there are even people in the bible who married their first cousins. She was very kind and understanding, she said that if we weren't cousins she would definitely go out with me (NOT HELPING)that she is currently in a relationship anyway. She doesn't want there to be awkwardness between us, so shes always willing to listen to me if I need to talk.We are still good friends, and still hang out.I have to admit that I do wish she would have said yes or at least maybe. :P
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell the thing is I first told her and let her do the talking., that's when she said she would date me. and as we both chilled out, that's when I started coming out with the facts.
A
male
reader, CommandoDude +, writes (13 September 2010):
 Just don't appear as desperate or obsessed. Try not to make it TOO much a point about how it is totally okay to be together (Even though it is).
But you shouldn't make a move on her while she is still with another person, that's not cool. It probably would have been a good idea if you asked if she had one.
If you're lucky, they'll break up, and then you could ask her again, but don't appear desperate or like you were waiting for her to break up, that will just be a put off. If she really won't be with you because you're a cousin ask her if she really thinks that, or if she could see you differently, otherwise it just seems like shes trying to find an excuse to blow you off.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2010): For the moment you gotta suppress this urges man. I know it's hard, but your only shot know is to act normal around her, be patient, and maybe then she'll think about it and start to like you.
Just wait it out man. BTW you've got balls for telling you own cousin you like her man!
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (12 September 2010):
 Ouch... You may have come across a bit strong here mate...
Emotions make people do silly things and talking about states that allow cousins to marry and birth defect statistics between cousins JUST after you've told her that you like her... bold... but silly.
You're lucky to have a cousin that is so kind and understanding and she honestly sounds like someone who you could be best friends with for life...
Call me crazy, but that's way more valuable than anything that would have eventuated from her saying "yes".
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2010): Basically, you freaked her out by going on and on about how it's okay to have sex with eachother despite being cousins cos it doesnt matter in the bible and is legal in some states , and bombarded her with all these facts stating YOU COULD BE TOGETHER. And she , was like thinking.... Idon't fancy him at all but Ill be flattering and say if we werent cousins we would go out, but the truth is she doesn't fancy you but fancies her boyfriend. Leave it.
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