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How can I get my girlfriend to perform oral sex?

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Question - (12 September 2010) 11 Answers - (Newest, 29 October 2010)
A male Ukraine age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hi. I really want my girlfriend to suck me off. She used to do it a few times when she was drunk but now she won't do it at all. I am the soul pleasure giver and go out of my way to please her every time, sometimes spending hours at a time performing oral sex and penetration.

I am not receiving any pleasure in return :(.

What would be a good way to make my girlfriend do this?

Thanks,

guy who wants some oral action.

View related questions: drunk, oral sex

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A male reader, DaFoz New Zealand +, writes (29 October 2010):

In my experience about 40% of women are just not into it, so your situation is not unusual. Maybe she doesn't like the concept, in which case you could try covering it with honey or chocolate. Maybe it is not physically comfortable for her. Find a large carrot about the right size and suggest she practice with it.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2010):

You need to talk to her and discuss your sexual needs and hers. She may not believe that oral sex is ladylike or safe. Social stigmas are difficult to address, but in the US, oral sex is now nothing (in the 70's it was a HUGE deal, now anal sex isn't even a big deal...)

You need to assure her that you want to have a fun and fulfilling sex life and that you love her. Don't stop going down on her... that's going to start a bad thing.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2010):

You cant "make" your girlfriend do anything she doesnt want. Period. At the most you can just ask her to try it out, but if she refuses, then thats pretty much it. Ask her why she refuses to, maybe it has something to do with the culture system of ur place, maybe its something to do about how she feels about the act in general. Have a frank talk with her, while you guys are NOT in bed.unless you are completely transparent with your partner and you know what she wants and vice-versa, there's no point speculating. See where it goes from there

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A male reader, BassiveMalls United States +, writes (13 September 2010):

BassiveMalls agony auntHow many girls have you been with where they give you oral sex? I ask this because I met someone that was near your part of the world (Bulgaria) and I asked her what the word for "blowjob" was and she said she didn't know because they didn't do that there. I thought that was bullshit but the world is full of different cultures so you never know.

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A male reader, Yos Netherlands +, writes (12 September 2010):

Yos agony auntTalk to her very honestly about it. Be direct.

If she is into you, then she'll want to please you. Oral sex is not an exotic request. Perhaps you can do something to help her want to. It could be something like personal hygiene, or even just taking out the trash. She may not be feeling appreciated.

If she refuses after you've had this conversation, then it's up to you to decide if this is a deal-breaker or not.

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A male reader, Jmtmj Australia +, writes (12 September 2010):

Jmtmj agony auntWell you could just stop giving her oral sex until she starts giving it to you... but then it all turns into a bit of a mind game...

Have you tried actually talking to her yet..??

If she was doing it to you before but only when she was drunk then there's a good chance that she just doesn't like or doesn't feel comfortable doing it in general.

Have you tried shaving or at least trimming your hair down there? I'm yet to meet anybody who enjoys going down on a forest of pubic hair...

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A female reader, tennisstar88 United States +, writes (12 September 2010):

tennisstar88 agony auntWell you're to the point. You can't force a woman to give you oral sex..Some just don't like to do it, or refuse to. Most of the time those woman are single. However, if you I were you I wouldn't give her oral anymore because you aren't getting any in return. In order to receive you must give, this rule applies even to oral sex. You can try making it a little tasty, such as dousing your member with whip cream, or using a little honey. However, as I said before you can't make her do anything and you will just have to continue doing without. Or break up with her for a woman who does give head.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2010):

"spending hours at a time performing oral sex and penetration."

"I am not receiving any pleasure in return :(."

I'm sorry that you do not get pleasure when performing oral sex and penetration on your girl friend. That's sad.

That being said, maybe you could try getting her to do it a little at time. Have her kiss and lick some and then stop her and do something else for a while. Then have her come back and do a little more. And let her know how pleasurable it is for you when she performs oral sex on you-so she'll feel compelled to do it again. Sometimes it's uncomfortable for a woman to suck for long periods of time because the jaws will ache after a few minutes. So stopping and starting may be the way to go.

Every girl is different--some like it, some don't. Good luck.

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A male reader, jimrich United States +, writes (12 September 2010):

Maybe it's how you ask for what you want. google: relationship tips and learn how to ask for and get what you want.

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A female reader, mjeanwilson6 United States +, writes (12 September 2010):

Well I completely understand that you feel as though this is unfair but maybe there is something about giving oral sex that makes your girlfriend uncomfortable. You cannot MAKE your girlfriend do anything. You could try asking her to do this and if she refuses, talk to her about why. Most of the time when girls aren't doing something it's because some part of it makes them uncomfortable. Hope this helps!(:

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A male reader, mb129 United States +, writes (12 September 2010):

What happens if you tell her that you won't give if you don't receive?

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