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... Send *vyblue a private message | | | *vyblue's profile:What qualifies me to help people…? Well to be honest I don't really know. I consider myself to be a life long learner therefore far from knowing everything. I believe the "outsider looking in" kind of advice can sometimes be the best because it can be the most eye opening and honest response that you will find.
Where do I live…? I sometimes wish I lived in the land of LaLa but for the time being I live in the Land Down Under.
My family makes me tick. They are my motivation for most things that I do choose to do.
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My son lost his twin brother. Should we let him go to counselling on his own or as a family?
Q. I have 2 sons, 1 is always in my heart and the other i wish only to make his pain go away. Twin boys born 21st june 2001. We lost Matthew in February this year. Paul was, well he was inconsolable. In june he refused to celebrate his birthday, now he ...
A. 26 December 2015: Absolutely . Grief is a very personal journey and for all that are affected by such tragic circumstances need the comfort,safety and freedom to work through their pain in privacy. I can only Imagine being a twin would have an entire set of ... (read in full...)
Falling for guy in long term relationship - don't want to be the other woman!
Q. I am falling for a male friend who is in a long term relationship. We met through work (at a social event- we don't work together so that isn't an issue) and have developed a connection which at first I brushed off, knowing he had a girlfriend. We ...
A. 25 December 2015: Nothing physical needs to happen before you are considered to be the other woman.Whether or not you realise you already are the other woman. The other woman that he is now thinking about, flirts with,developed feelings for and starting to give ... (read in full...)
Online dating: how do I make this work? When I suggest meeting up they back-off
Q. Dear Cupid After failed relationship, someone suggested me to try online dating, so I registered. So that was the easy part. Got a lot of hits and requests, and I tried connecting to few people. Almost everyone I talked to, never suggested to ...
A. 25 December 2015: My guess would be that these guys in particular are interested in not much more than looking for cheap thrills from the comfort of an arm chair. Im mean really, I cant categorise any man asking for nude photos and the likes of someone they haven't ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's "catching" up with an old female friend is starting to bother me
Q. My boyfriend has been spending a lot of time communicating with an old female friend from high school. Now we have been together for a little over 4 years, so we have a lot of trust in each other, but I feel as if this is wrong of him. I'll tel...
A. 23 December 2015: Invite her over for dinner.... (read in full...)
My friends uninvited me for Christmas!
Q. I live alone and I decided to invite a couple (who are friends) to dinner on Christmas Eve. She accepted the invitation and said why didn't I have lunch with them on Christmas Day. I was pleased as I am often alone at Christmas. A few days later ...
A. 23 December 2015: I agree, I would feel the same way because it was a bit rude. But if this was a decision of her husband she like you might be all that bit uncomfortable having to reneg on the arrangement. Unlike your friend, if it were me I'd stick to the plan for ... (read in full...)
Should I leave her a note saying she has no morals?
Q. Hi. A few weeks ago a girl hit my car and damaged my wing mirror on a country road. She was speeding way to quick and didn't slow down. I've reported it to the police but they say cause its a country road that it would be fifty fifty. I'm replacing ...
A. 22 December 2015: Breaking something and avoiding payment when you would more than likely expect the same- She all ready knows she has no morals. Let her deal with her conscience. I would expect leaving a note would have you in a more distressed state if she decided ... (read in full...)
He can't take the time to shop for me and my kids, but he will for his kid and for her?
Q. As most men do, my bf dislike shopping for anything. Especially xmas shopping.. So I've done all of it this year... Including a few little gifts for myself.. Then today I get a text saying that he totally forgot he needs to buy a gift for is ex from ...
A. 22 December 2015: As I read it you don't have an issue with him buying the gift on behalf of his kids, rather the fact that he hasn't taken your kids and done the same for you-right? if you are annoyed about the gift, thats very petty because its not about her or ... (read in full...)
Would this be a good opener to ask a nice girl going past me?
Q. Just a simple question. If I see a nice girl going past and I just say "excuse me, are you busy" or "are you in a hurry?". Wouldn't that be the best opener to judge if she's interested? Her response would show straight away if she has any interest...
A. 22 December 2015: "Having a good night?" if your standing around because even a yes or no response can lead you to asking more questions and engage in conversation. As for your first question I think a lot of women would keep moving,unless of course they are very ... (read in full...)
I want to compete in a beauty contest, but speaking in public makes me anxious.Should I contest or move on?
Q. I didn't pull through to represent my country at the miss universe pageant. I didn't even make it through the auditions because I am a nervous wreck or was. I don't know, I have so much confidence as a person and I know back then in universi...
A. 19 December 2015: Confidence is beautiful as it is sexy, my guess is that the girl you were replaced with was the whole package, not just a face. Don't give up though, why not do a short course in public speaking.
... (read in full...)
Overwhelmed by gift house and don't know what to do
Q. Please can i get some advice! What I'm about to write may seem like I'm being ungrateful but I'm not. My fiancé and I have been together 6 years and were currently looking to buy our 1st house together. We both have decent enough jobs...
A. 19 December 2015: Oh boy! Hate to be in your shoes. I think you have grounds for feeling the way you do and I don't think it is fair to be labelled ungrateful. My fear would be if generosity turns into having to tow the indebted line. I can see it from their point of ... (read in full...)
She took the presents and ran
Q. Hello was dating this woman for a short time. I just gave her Christmas presents, then next day she broke up with me. Should I ask for them back?...
A. 19 December 2015: She has bad manners and my guess is if you ask for them back she'll respond in the same way leaving you more annoyed with a responsive-NO. I wouldn't be asking for them back but I would let her know just how rude her accepting them under such ... (read in full...)
I'd like some tips on how to make our MFM amazing
Q. Me and my gf arranged theeesome with another guy our age, she can be naughty at times. Any advice? We have been together three years and a friend is going to join in. It really turns me on involving another guy. Any tips to make it amazing? I'm 25 ...
A. 18 December 2015: Detach yourself emotionally 100%. My advice would be NOT to be involving a friend instead do your homework and find a like minded person or couple. before going through with anything make sure that you both are aware of what is acceptable and what ... (read in full...)
Feeling shattered. Two days ago I saw my wife cheating with another man. What can I do?
Q. I caught my wife having sex with another man. She says it was the first time she did this, but she did him with me just 30 feet away and right out in the open when i saw them. He says it was flirting that got out of hand. She says she don't...
A. 17 December 2015: Cheating on your spouse is not a side effect of pain killers and the fact that she didn't like it is irrelevant. Sorry is for being caught. My advice is to pack up your dignity and leave. Hard, yes of course but from my own personal experience ... (read in full...)
He is secretive about his phone and he becomes defensive when I ask. But could he be flirting online?
Q. Pls help! I've been with my fiancé for 3 and a half years. We have a 2 year old daughter together I found his profile on a dating site and it said last active 5 months ago and one of his pictures I took of him myself ! I confronted hi...
A. 14 December 2015: Be frank with him and in no uncertain terms make it very clear that you are not interested in half arsed explanation rather, for the sake of his family, only interested in having him delete the account in front of you. Once that is done I would ... (read in full...)
My friends are all settling down but I am still single
Q. I feel like I will never find a boyfriend, most of my friends are now settling down into relationships and I feel like the odd one out. I am in my early 20s and feel like I will never find someone to love. I have only ever been in one relationship ...
A. 13 December 2015: Darling, I sometimes wish that I was still single because in my early 20's I wasted too much time on trying to not be the odd one out ending up with relationships for that purpose only. Tied down too early and missed out on many opportunities that ... (read in full...)
Without foreplay I feel pain if my husband attempts intercourse without foreplay. How can I make him understand? I don't know what to do.
Q. I am recently married to my boyfriend of 10 years. We never had sex in these years,only physical intimacy/foreplay. now after marriage he just wants sex, he cant wait for 15-20 minutes of foreplay before sex. foreplay is important to me because ...
A. 13 December 2015: He may say he wants you to enjoy it but it sounds more like he wants to enjoy himself. Complaining that you lie like a dog when you are in pain his horrible,just horrible and is sounds more like sexual abuse than anything loving and considerate. How ... (read in full...)
I am worried that raising this issue will ruin my friendship with my friend. But do I confront her about my concerns?
Q. My friend and her fiancé came to visit me at home yesterday. Her fiancé used our toilet which is upstairs (our house only has 1 toilet). He was in there a while and when he came back down he started asking me if I know where he could buy a Ferrari ...
A. 13 December 2015: Tuff one I will admit. Thing is what do you do when they drop around un announced, Make up excuses each and every time ? Where will your loyalties lie in order to keep every one happy...the friend or your husband? You have to live with your husband ... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm her 2nd option. Is it time to end this friendship? Sick of her letting me down.
Q. I am so frustrated with my friend because whenever we make plans to meet up or go out she always cancels last minute and its beginning to really annoy me! For example we had dinner plans the other week. I went to the restaurant and got us a tab...
A. 13 December 2015: Take her silence as a blessing in disguise and let it die a natural death. Good riddance I say.... (read in full...)
He takes me for granted and I want to leave him. What's my best strategy?
Q. i hate everything my boyfriend says or does he has become a pain in my ass..... He is self centered and only treats me like a lump of shit...he is 24 hours on a stupid game...on his phone i dont mean anything to him he isnt how he was...he has star...
A. 12 December 2015: please explain a bit more what you mean he doesn't let you leave?... (read in full...)
How do I address the lack of sex and intimacy in our marriage?
Q. So I am living in a situation and I will give as much detail as possible so everyone will know how to address it and thank you beforehand I will appreciate the advice. Me and my wife have been married for almost 4 years in fact it will be 4 yea...
A. 12 December 2015: The situation, as you describe, is unfair and understandably frustrating. Not one that anyone in a marriage should have to endure for too long of a time when only one partner is willing to seek a solution. My advice would be to go ahead and make ... (read in full...)
My husband and escourts..he claims he just looks at them, nothing else
Q. I found out recently that my husband of 9 yrs (we have young kids) has been seeing escorts and of course he is denying sleeping with them. 11 months ago, he says he started "looking into" escorts because his close friend was coming into town and ...
A. 11 December 2015: Sorry but I don't buy it for a second. I would imagine a man with such restraint not to allow himself to have sex with an escort on as many occasions as mentioned, would have enough restraint not to call them in the first place. Hypothetically, and ... (read in full...)
Will it be a huge turnoff to girls to find out I'm a virgin?
Q. To begin things im just gonna say that im a virgin...well i had girlfriends before but im kind of the emotional attachment old school kind of guy so i dated a girl for 6 months and still didnt have sex. Even though i dated i always respected a girl ...
A. 11 December 2015: No way not at all. Man whores are a turn off I think. You don't have to advertise the fact and when you do find that special someone i would be surprised if she didn't think of herself as being lucky to be with a man that hasn't a long list of ... (read in full...)
How do I know for sure if my suspicions that my boyfriend's younger sister is gay, and what should I do, or not do?
Q. Hi everyone My boyfriend has a 19 year old sister (I will just call her "Jane") and I have known her for many years but have recently realized something that is not quite normal about her. She is extremely pretty but has never had a boyfriend or e...
A. 11 December 2015: Im not sure why you feel the need to do anything. Live and let live.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has a fetish for bald guys. Should I shave my head for her?
Q. I used to notice that my girl liked to check out older guys when they walked past her, before I realized it was actually guys with clean shaven heads that she has this weird thing for. She said she found bald guys really hot. Well I found it weeeird ...
A. 10 December 2015: if you are up for a change then sure ,why not? I probably wouldn't shave it off bald straight away because if you have a tanned face and your head is not then you might just regret looking like a Chupa Chup, thats a two toned lollypop where Im from. ... (read in full...)
What can I do? Should I meet a man who can only tolerate my much loved resucue dog?
Q. I was really looking forward to meeting a man I have have been talking online to. This morning he dropped the bombshell he would only ever"tolerate" a dog and his argument is he thinks its cruel to keep them as pets anyway. I am quite hurt as my do...
A. 10 December 2015: Crazy as it sounds but there are people that actually get jealous over the relationship between man/woman and his best friend which can have negative consequences for the animal.A totally agree with C Grant...love me, love my pet.... (read in full...)
I'm finding her persistent acne a turnoff
Q. I don't want this this to come off the wrong way, but I need some help. I love my fiancée and we have a great relationship. I'm physically attracted to her but I find myself turned off a lot because of her acne issues. She's dealt with rea...
A. 9 December 2015: Im trying to get my hands on FERMENTED cod liver oil. Not normal, but fermented. it is supposed to work from the inside out which is helping to fix the problem rather than just the symptom. Things like Roacutane, I think I spelt that wrong, can have ... (read in full...)
Live in an isolated area and am home schooled. What can I do to make new friends?
Q. I have been diagnosed with an extreme form of social anxiety, going back to when I was a young child and my parents encouraged achievement above socialization. Now as a teenager forced to leave school in order to come back to grips with life (do...
A. 7 December 2015: Not quite the same but what about seeking out and joining online communities for starters. I dont know how far is too far but can you ride into town? If so why not try source out volunteering at the library or the likes. Friends come in all shapes ... (read in full...)
Am I being unreasonable with my no contact request?
Q. Hi my partner and I separated for some time. During that time he began a sexual relationship with a woman for about 4 weeks. We have now got back together again and I have asked him to stop all contact with her. He makes excuses and fobs me off ...
A. 7 December 2015: Of course not. He is being an ass. Hardly says he is serious about you or her rather he is just wanting his cake and eat it too. My advice would be to try not make this into a situation about staying with him just to prove to her that you are the ... (read in full...)
Help me beat my birthday blues
Q. Today is my birthday. But my mom didn't even wish me. She was in bad mood from last 2 days when we had a argument. But she carried it away till this day. I always wanted my birthday to be special. I am not a teenager but still I think that this day ...
A. 7 December 2015:
Sorry you had a bummer of a day.Try not let your mums mean attitude spoil your day. I dont really have much advice other than:
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to You
Happy birthday dear poster
Happy Birthday toooooo youuuuuuuuu... (read in full...)
We are to be married in 2 weeks but are fighting about his ex and his socializing
Q. I'm getting married in two weeks. My fiance and I have been arguing alot lately. He throws a tantrum and pouts for days. The last argument was because his ex keeps contacting him and he just wants to ignore her but I want him to tell her to leave ...
A. 5 December 2015: Cold feet maybe? No I think it is unreasonable for you to be asking the man you are going to take as your husband to man up tell his ex to bugger off. Why wait for him to contact her, why don't you? Because she may be the reason for his ... (read in full...)
I want a child but my boyfriend doesn't. Should I tell him I'm going off contraception?
Q. So I've been with my partner for 3 years . I have had the implant in my arm for nearly 6 years . It's only meant to last 3 years ? Is there a specific time limit for this contraception? Me and my partner don't use any other form of protecti...
A. 4 December 2015: What if he knowing gave you something you didnt want like an STD? ... (read in full...)
How do I get this married man out of my head?
Q. I have posted a few times about this situation. I have fallen for a married man. I don't want to feel a thing for him. Let me be clear I have never allowed us to cross the line. I have tried to avoid him, but down to his work this is impossible. S...
A. 4 December 2015:
"Let me be clear I have never allowed us to cross the line."
"Then a moment where we almost missed but we were interrupted, so didn't."
Just for clarification: kissed not missed? Because that sounds a bit contradictory.
So in answer to your q... (read in full...)
I told my ex he needs to reflect on himself and be honest and he says there is nothing wrong with him!
Q. Hi, I broke up with a guy on Sunday after 8 months. It's the usual story, he was overly keen to begin with, texting, calling and constantly knocking on my door (we live in separate flats in the same house) After 7 months we slept together and as ...
A. 3 December 2015: sounds like a a weirdo...get a lock for your door... (read in full...)
His house is filthy but he wants me to move in - Agh!
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for a year now. He has been wanting me to move in for awhile now ( we live 40 mins apart) and well, I really don't want too. Here is why- His house is a wreck. He does not sweep or dust. He has two 130 pound dogs ...
A. 2 December 2015: You can love someone and have a great relationship without moving in together. If his house were not the issue is moving in what you want to do?, because there is nothing wrong with wanting to remain in your own home and live your own way. My guess ... (read in full...)
Should I insist on her leaving her husband before I move to Germany to be closer to her?
Q. I have met a German married woman. I am in UK, 57 divorced. She is 44 with 3 children. We met at a party in Germany and she told me her husband no longer has sex with her since 6 years. We talked all night. The past 4 months we talk every day on...
A. 30 November 2015: Not guilty enough to leave her husband and not guilty enough to not have you as her piece of cake and eat it too. All you are is whats missing in her relationship, she has the security of him and sexual satisfaction of you. Sounds like she has ... (read in full...)
Why do women become so much more interesting when you are committed?
Q. Hello cupid I'm recently committed after a long time and I have been very comfortable and happy with my girlfriend. Before meeting my girlfriend, many girls showed interest but I was adamant to stay single till I find the person I can be fully mys...
A. 30 November 2015: Forbidden fruit just looks all that bit tastier and to answer your second question you are in a relationship not dead and the urge to flirt is natural. Knowing not too is the art of being emotionally intelligent.... (read in full...)
I'm angry that my partner returned the iPhone he found to its owner
Q. What would you do if you found a I phone? My partner found one by his car and it belonged to a woman because it had a case with flowers on to protect it and a photo of her and her fella. My partner said to see if she rang for her phone and if...
A. 30 November 2015: Sorry but see it through different eyes.Yes you are correct, not all people are willing to do the right thing by others but the thing is you are with a person that does, be grateful that your partner is of character that restores my faith in ... (read in full...)
He's been having long private secret lunches with drinks with a co-worker! Is this forgivable?
Q. Please help me. My husband has been having private lunches with a woman 10 years younger than him. The lunches turn I to four hours with drinks and no other coworkers are included. He has been doing this for four years and kept it a secret. We ...
A. 29 November 2015: Personally I would struggle with being able to forgive a four year long deception. A one off, maybe because I'd put that down to poor judgment but four years is poor character. He's been having an affair. Whether or not its sexual but it is ... (read in full...)
He admitted that he only knows two girls who are 'hotter' than I am and they'll be at an upcoming party
Q. Hi everyone, When my boyfriend and I first started dating we were going to a party and I said as a joke "there are probably going to be really hot girls there" because he is very involved in sports so a lot of the girls that are in his friend g...
A. 27 November 2015: I think in your bf head he wishes he kept his tactless response in his head. In no way,in my opinion, does it mean he doesn't love you and I think his actions of taking care of you in a ridiculously sweet manner as you say is what you should be ... (read in full...)
Her daughter is a nightmare at bedtime! Ideas on how to deal with her?
Q. I'm in a relationship with a lovely woman who has a 9 year old daughter whom I absolutely adore. She is a great kid, but has quite a problem when it comes to bedtime. And it is driving my gf completely insane to the point she is at her wits end. ...
A. 27 November 2015: Have you thought about extending the bed time by an hour because ADHD kids don't need as much sleep time as others? Instead of just springing " hey it's time for bed" do you give plenty of notice several times leading up to it. Sounds like she ... (read in full...)
What to do? My boyfriend will not stop talking about the past
Q. My bf and I are moving in soon, but their is one big issue between us. During our time we've dated until now recently, he was the one who drove all the time to pick and drop me up at my home. I don't have my own car. I rely on my mother to allow me...
A. 27 November 2015: Maybe acknowledge that it must of been frustrating for him to have to travel so much however the circumstances were a bit out of your control, unlike him being able to control what comes out his mouth. Be honest and ask what it is that he is hoping ... (read in full...)
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