A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend has been spending a lot of time communicating with an old female friend from high school. Now we have been together for a little over 4 years, so we have a lot of trust in each other, but I feel as if this is wrong of him. I'll tell you why. They were Facebook messaging pretty much the whole weekend catching up on old times. That's fine and all but he got so caught up that he forgot he was suppose to pick me up from work. She also asked for his phone number so they could text, and she was blowing up his phone while we were sleeping last night. She also asked him to come out clubbing with her and some friends. She has also sent him pictures of herself in a short dress. It kind of seems like she has a crush on my boyfriend which is naturally kind of upsetting to me. I know my boyfriend wouldn't cheat, but it's starting to annoy me that they talk so much. What is there to talk about? Boyfriend hasn't really said much about it. His behavior is just really weird, like he's super excited to be talking with her. Catching up is one thing, but I feel as this is not fair to me. I hope I'm not in the wrong here.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (23 December 2015):
 Invite her over for dinner.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (23 December 2015):
 I too wonder how much he has told her about YOU and his 4 year relationship. Or do you feature prominently on his Facebook, so she can have no doubt? Have you asked him? And I would also ask him if HE was OK with you catching up with an "old" male friend to the same degree as he has been with her... And then...
Personally, I would see how far he takes this, himself. I'd find myself busy with my own friend (not male) and show him that you trust him and aren't 100% dependable on him for your attentions.
It isn't fair to you, but here is my thoughts on that. YOU should NOT have to tell him that it's over the top inappropriate for her to blow up his phone all night texting or for him to be SO caught up in facebook-chatting that he "forgets" to pick you up from work. That is why I'd talk to him but not make a big deal out of it.
He should know better. And no guy is so dense as to not being able to see that she isn't trying to re-kindle a friendship....
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2015): if you were the one who had run into an ex schoolfriend you may find yourself in a similar position to your boyfriend.There probably is a whole lot of intersting things to catch up on like who did what etc..but the fact that he forgot to pick you up from work is fairly unforgiveable in the short term.I think you are probably wondering what you can do to restore your previous harmony.I think you are going to have to tell him that he is acting like a single guy by being on call to miss reunited and you could let him know how little he thought of your post work rendezvous by pointing out that if you had children together you would like to think their dad was reliable enough to remember them even if he had run into old friends.Failing that getting through you could reconsider your own commitment levels and maybe point out that he is taking you for granted with his non stop reuniting.I dont suppose he wants to be the injured party :if you decided that it was more than you could reasonably be expected tio handle and you were going to walk in the opposite direction would he want to follow you or run off to rendezvous with miss reunited.He stands to lose a lot of dignity if you walk.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2015): It seems that he has omitted to tell her he has you. If he meets up with her go along as well or insist he sends a message in front of you clearly stating he is taken.
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