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... Send *vyblue a private message | | | *vyblue's profile:What qualifies me to help people…? Well to be honest I don't really know. I consider myself to be a life long learner therefore far from knowing everything. I believe the "outsider looking in" kind of advice can sometimes be the best because it can be the most eye opening and honest response that you will find.
Where do I live…? I sometimes wish I lived in the land of LaLa but for the time being I live in the Land Down Under.
My family makes me tick. They are my motivation for most things that I do choose to do.
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Ghost of Bf's sexual past invading current relationship
Q. So I've been with the boyfriend just under a year. Recently found out that one of his friends (a girl) who he has known since he was a teenager (he's approaching 40) he slept with two years ago (after his his birthday party). Very drunk affair- he ...
A. 10 October 2015: I don't know what I would be more annoyed with the fact that he has made it clear that he intends to 'Go out of his way to see her' or the fact that he is openly and accepting of his own hypocritical omission that if the shoe was on the other foot, ... (read in full...)
I'm not having much luck making friends
Q. I'm someone who has always felt very lonely. I know that must sound pathetic coming from a young female. My parents divorced when I was very young, and I'm an only child. I only have one grandparent left (my grandmother) but she lives very far a...
A. 10 October 2015: Loneliness can strike any person of any age and for a variety of circumstance so no, I don't think it is pathetic at all. making friends is more than just making conversation it is about having the courage to put yourself out there. I would imagine ... (read in full...)
Why does he only text me during the weekdays? not the weekends??
Q. Wtf! okay once i'm sorry for asking so much advice but :( i need advice aunts. My ex boyfriend and I are talking again and we are not going out officially but he only texts me/calls me/video chats me on the weekdays (btw we live 6 hours away fro...
A. 10 October 2015: I think the best person to be asking about where you stand is him, we can only speculate with regards to the txt'ing. So speculate away I shall…perhaps he didn't know how to respond to being referred to as ' Baby ' and thought it a bit OTT if you ... (read in full...)
I hate hearing about how happy they are in the bedroom! What do I do to get over this hurt and jealousy?
Q. What can I do? I hate hearing about their sex lives and I'm hurt enough! How do I stop thinking about my ex and his new woman? My ex boyfriend was very sexual - sex obsessed I would say. I didn't date him for long as he wanted to move too quic...
A. 10 October 2015: I understand that you are hurting but try see the flip side of things. If you are hearing about their sex life and through others I might add, what does that tell you about him? He is obviously so so full of himself that he feels the need to be ... (read in full...)
Is there hope of reconciliation, or is she just trying to soften the blow?
Q. Hello. I have a question in regards to relationship reconciliation. I was recently put on break with someone I really do love and cherish. This girl, who will be referred to as Jane, told me that it hurt her to know I was hurt. Now, a mutual fr...
A. 9 October 2015: Ok now that you have said that it could be that she is just softening the blow. No doubt she likes you, thinks you are a nice guy but an overly accommodating person can be just as frustrating as one who won't budge for anything. My guess is she is ... (read in full...)
Did I assume too much about her? What's my next move?
Q. I came back tonight from work a bit disappointed. This is the situation. I work at a job that haves a cafe and the connection between me and one of the girls there is strong. She stumbles every time I am there and acts nervous when I apporoah her ...
A. 9 October 2015: Your post:
Then I said that I am interested in another company and might give my two week notice( it was a lie)
Your post:
No I am not going to proceed with the lie.
Your post again:
I said I might leave which is actually true when ... (read in full...)
Is there hope of reconciliation, or is she just trying to soften the blow?
Q. Hello. I have a question in regards to relationship reconciliation. I was recently put on break with someone I really do love and cherish. This girl, who will be referred to as Jane, told me that it hurt her to know I was hurt. Now, a mutual fr...
A. 9 October 2015: Maybe, but without more information its a little hard to say. What where her reasons for wanting to take the break? ... (read in full...)
My best friend likes the co-worker that I've been flirting with and wants to know if he likes her
Q. Where I work is most females but we do have a few male coworkers. All of whom are either married or a lot older then most of us younger ladies, so when we had a new starter who is good looking, friendly and single, a lot of the girls made a play for ...
A. 9 October 2015: Aaah..workplace relationships. A lot of people meet at work, get married and live happily ever after. Then there is those that don't. Its all hunky dory till it goes to shit. Gets messy, gossipy, and publicly played out - then someones looking for ... (read in full...)
How can I get this other guy (''Dave'') to talk to me more? While also discouraging the other guy?
Q. Hello, I'm looking for some advice on boys. I have begun college and have started late so the others have already made friends. My course has a higher percentage of boys to girls. One of the boys has started messaging me on Facebook and I have r...
A. 9 October 2015: Hi there. First of all good on you having enough self respect to be in control of whom, how and when you want your first sexual encounter. For what its worth I don't quite understand why they call it revenge sex when to me it just makes the op l... (read in full...)
I don't think my boyfriend will like me when he finds out how poor I am
Q. My boyfriend has a very well paid job compared to me and he has just paid 2 million pound for his new house and we have agreed that each weekend we will stay at each others homes as we live 100 miles from each other but don't know how to explain to ...
A. 9 October 2015: Im not sure why you agreed to an arrangement if that is not something you are able to do. If he doesn't then what have you lost…I mean who wants a snobby bf that looks down their nose at you? I think being wealthy can be just as problematic as being ... (read in full...)
Did I assume too much about her? What's my next move?
Q. I came back tonight from work a bit disappointed. This is the situation. I work at a job that haves a cafe and the connection between me and one of the girls there is strong. She stumbles every time I am there and acts nervous when I apporoah her ...
A. 9 October 2015: sorry but I just re read your post and see it a bit differently. If you are of 'title' I assume that you hold a senior position. Maybe she felt pressure to accept your invitation to coffee out of obligation, additionally because you pointed out to ... (read in full...)
What do I say? Where to from here? I wanted his support and his response was insensitive
Q. Hi. I'm looking for support from someone out there :( tonight I felt so down and sadly I took it out on my boyfriend while he is working away (over the phone). I told him I wish he understood how I felt having pcos, but his reply was - 'you can walk ...
A. 8 October 2015: Most guys don't do womens stuff. They don't get it because they DONT GET IT. Sing it to a sister next time.. we all hear ya. even us strangers here on DC. Womans problems….just confirms for me that God aint a woman. Try smile even when you don't ... (read in full...)
Did I assume too much about her? What's my next move?
Q. I came back tonight from work a bit disappointed. This is the situation. I work at a job that haves a cafe and the connection between me and one of the girls there is strong. She stumbles every time I am there and acts nervous when I apporoah her ...
A. 8 October 2015: In your mind you don't plan to go ahead with the lie. Which is a good thing, but she is not to know that it was just a ploy to see her reaction. Do you feel that the reason she said yes to coffee was because you mentioned that you may be handing in ... (read in full...)
What's some ''feel good'' to take to my boyfriend who is into fitness and keeps to a strict diet?
Q. Hi, My boyfriend is feeling weak and I want to take him something nice like food which would make him feel better keeping in mind he is working on his fitness and has a strict diet to follow..what would you recommendations do you have for "feel go...
A. 8 October 2015: Chai seed pudding- So easy, so nutritious, so cheap and so yummy. I go choose vegan recipes. But depending on his diet you can use milk- I use coconut milk. Good fats, good sugar- no sugars good sugar, but better alternatives and very satisfying. A ... (read in full...)
Does he still find me attractive?
Q. I have been with my bf for two and a half years and it's been the best, two nights ago whilst going down on me he started to masturbate. I thought this was strange as he'd never done it before but I never thought anything of it. last night I tried ...
A. 8 October 2015: Probably not you at all. Just because he hasn't done it before i wouldn't worry about because you can't keep doing the do the same old same old, he has found something new that takes his fancy. Maybe he watches too much porn. Too much can do ... (read in full...)
I just found out my girlfriend of almost two years is MARRIED! Now what?
Q. Hey Aunts! I have been dating this wonderful younger woman for almost two years now. She is smart, ambitious, and beautiful and she is 10 years my junior. Our sex life has been amazing, but it was troubling in one way. She always pushed for o...
A. 8 October 2015: This woman is delusional on more than one level. If she honestly thinks that oral and anal is not cheating then you my friend are in for a whole lot of trouble. My guess the reason she has had a change of heart is because her husband has been posted ... (read in full...)
Don't want this to backfire. Would sharing a room, with my male colleague, be risky for this holiday?
Q. A co-worker/friend and I are going on a weeks long vacation together since its a place we found we both were dying to visit but had no one to go with. The topic of hotel/hostel rooms came up, he specifically asked if we could just share a room. I ...
A. 8 October 2015: Sex is the first thing that came to my mind. Twin beds in one room is risky enough but sharing one bed, well…..!!!! There will be consequences lol. It can go either way, all good when you get back or all bad. Just up to you if you are willing to ... (read in full...)
She cheated. At what point will I know I can get past this?
Q. Hi guys. I could do with some help. My Girlfriend cheated on me 15 months ago, and i found out around 6 months ago. IT's a pretty unique situation so I'll try to explain, We've been together 8 years, and she's been best friends with this guy ...
A. 8 October 2015: Thats a tuff question, I guess it would vary greatly between the individual so knowing the when or if you will get past it will be when you get past it. I have very little tolerance for cheaters. most justifications are based on blaming or just ... (read in full...)
Crush acting hot and cold. What does it mean?
Q. dear love cupid, i have a crush on a guy in my school. he's quite nice to me sometimes but he also love to tease in a kinda hurtful ways. there was a time when we were making our school project in one of my friends home. i accidentally wounded my ...
A. 8 October 2015: Hi there. I'm sorry to say but I'm going to have to…At your age, boys or girls, will sometimes reactant not always handle a situation in the same manner as what an adult would ( and even the react bad sometimes). There could have been a few ways to ... (read in full...)
We never have sex and now another guy is interested in me! What do I do?
Q. In a bit of a dilema! i currently have a boyfriend and hes lovely hes sweet thoughtful and really in love with me, the only thing is we barely ever have sex, ive repeatidly told him about this and yeah yeah ill change i havnt brought it up for ...
A. 7 October 2015: You say the physical side of things are boring between you and your bf,so what role have you taken to change that? For some reason many women seem to think it is the responsibility of the man to keep things interesting when really it really does ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend lost it when I told him I wanted to look in on my brother as I'd promised my parents!
Q. Am I in the wrong? My parents are away on holiday and my brother has been left home alone (he's just turned 18, can't cook but he can heat up soup and do beans on toast) and my parents have asked if I can go out each day to cook supper and make ...
A. 6 October 2015: I agree, sorry. Pick up the phone to check in. I don't think he will starve.... (read in full...)
How can I be happy doing what I do at home?
Q. im a 34 stay at home mom for 11 years. im grateful to raise my 3 kids, but im depressed being at home cleaning and taking care of the house. this last year i started drinking in the day.. at first it made cleaning more fun, but i need to change. i ...
A. 6 October 2015: Have you thought about a party plan kind of work. That way you can plan your hours around your husband and the kids. Even if its not party plan things like Avon etc you don't even need to have a party. If your kids are young pop them in the pusher ... (read in full...)
Should I pay for a relative's meal on my birthday where my significant other reluctantly paid part of the cost?
Q. My fiancé's parents are in there 80's and the dad is able to get around. The mother needs a lot of help walking due to overweight issues. The are still both mentally sharp. I have an aunt in her 90's and she is mentally sharp too and gets a...
A. 6 October 2015: Man what a miser. It is a meal, your b'day and your aunt is family. I'd pay him back with the comment that you were glad it wasn't as expense as the time he took ….(insert ex's name) and parents….to …..(insert restaurant name.)... (read in full...)
How do I get him to move into the spare room and take things from there?
Q. I am tired of crying sleepless nights over my marriage. It is loveless, no tenderness and we have tried to keep it together but it seems like a battle going around and around. I'm am quieter than my husband. I have asked him to sleep in the spare ...
A. 5 October 2015: Is there anything stopping you from leaving? When things are as bad as you say, moving out may be the better option. Not just for you but your child also. Whether is temporary or permanent both options have a positive side. Temporary gives you time ... (read in full...)
I'm not sure if I should log onto the dating site?
Q. Hello I have subscribed to a dating site for 1 month, and have agreed , to meet a woman for a date , she has said , we can meet , when she is back from ...
A. 5 October 2015: Meeting a woman and dating a woman are not the same thing. Dating sites,in my opinion, are very much a try before you buy kind of thing. In no way am I suggesting it is ok for people to play people, rather you are not yet committed to anything other ... (read in full...)
Why do people say a couple is being ''selfish'' if the couple make a conscious decision to have one child only?
Q. Why do people consider you selfish for making the choice to only have one child? My boyfriend and I have thought hard about this. We have decided to have only the one child when we marry. It's a thought out decision. We are both self employed a...
A. 5 October 2015: I don't know why people say this.Being the parent of an only child myself it really sounds unjust and pretty darn stupid. Ive asked my teenager if being an only child, feels like having missed out on anything, felt lonely etc but that hasn't been ... (read in full...)
I'm catching my boyfriend's lies out. Do I call him out ?
Q. i think my new boyfriend is lying . the reason im thinking this is because he told me his dad had fallen really badly and had to go to hospital (the day of our date) we havent met each others families yet so its not like i could ask his family ...
A. 4 October 2015: Sticking around to teach him people shouldn't lie is a lesson for children not a grown man. Suspecting he tells porkey pies is unsettling enough I would imagine, but him coming clean by his own omissions just confirm it. Stretching the truth might ... (read in full...)
To smoke cigarettes or not? Is there a compromise or a solution we can try to make things ok for us both?
Q. I know what I’m going to write sounds kind of strange, and very long but I guess that’s just the way it goes…. Since I was a young teenager I was interested in trying smoking but I got the chance once at the age of 14 but I didn’t actually go throu...
A. 3 October 2015: No I don't think there is. Being a reformed smoker myself I find the very thought of being with a smoker a turn off. It is a repulsive habit that, for most smokers, starts with just one or two then BAM…before you know it your a pack a day smoker. ... (read in full...)
He took in homeless people and I'm the bad guy for wanting them out?
Q. Hello all. I really need some advice. Forgive me if this takes too long. My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 years and we just recently moved in a one bedroom apartment together August 1st, 2015. Things have been good until this past wee...
A. 2 October 2015: Sorry but I can hardly believe what I have just read. What a crazy,random and dangerous situation. Your action are totally justified and far more generous in nature than I would be in this situation. His reaction towards you is mean, not the other ... (read in full...)
I'm questioning our moral compatability
Q. Dear Cupid, I'm torn, confused, and seeking your comments. I have been dating Mike for 10 months. I moved in with him a month ago and recently found out (two weeks ago) that he is into threesomes. He was invited (8 months ago) to participate with...
A. 1 October 2015: Hi Lonely Heavy Heart
Im with you,in part, on this one. If Knowing my partner is into this kind of lifestyle would be an instant turn off. But There are many solid couples who indulge in this kind of thing without any repercussions. Instead of m... (read in full...)
Tips on making a good impression on her?
Q. Dear friends Firstly, english is not my first language, so forgive my errors. I would like some advice regarding meeting with a friend of mine. I have not known this girl long, and we agreed to meet up so i can guide her around this city, she...
A. 1 October 2015: I don't know about anyone else but spending good quality time having fun with someone is something that gets my attention. Make a genuine effort to make sure that she is enjoying herself. Could you show her some of the countryside and take along a ... (read in full...)
He made a racist remark. How should I respond? I think reporting him will make things worse for me.
Q. Hi all, I'm a 16 year old female that has just started college and is having some issues. I am on a male dominated course and I know a boy on their from my old school. We got on really well at school but now we're at college he's trying everythi...
A. 1 October 2015: Maybe not report it if it was a one off. Report it if it continues. Steer clear and if he asks why tell him that you don't appreciate or deserve to be spoken to in that manner, preferring to surround your self with less negative and rude people.... (read in full...)
What do I say? When he asks me why I like him so much?
Q. I am 26 years old and I have always been a little socially awkward and reserved!i met this guy that I really like and care about a lot but let's just say I am unable to express that to him,he asked me why do I like him so much and I have no ...
A. 1 October 2015: You have just answered your own question with what you have posted. If he has asked then your response with either go one way or the other. Keep it short, true and simple.... (read in full...)
My son dislikes his sister-in-law and her family and won't go on family vacations with them! How do I handle this?
Q. I have two sons. The oldest is 32 years old and the youngest is 30 years. The oldest, Rob, is married with two kids and my youngest, Justin, is single with no kids. About ten years ago, we all went on a family vacation (My husband and I, m...
A. 1 October 2015: I wouldn't be handling it at all. End of the day they are adults and should be sorting it out them selves. Sounds like he has a very valid point in not wanting to go. Annoying persistence when he has already said no gives a bit of an indication to ... (read in full...)
My wife will not accept apologies. No matter what. What can I do?
Q. I have a wife who rarely apologizes. But more strange to me is that she does not accept my genuine apologies. I am some one who does not have a problem with admitting by faults and working to do better. But my wife of 21 years seems to be stuck on ...
A. 30 September 2015: If it's repetitive behaviour or problems- words are cheap and apologies taken with a pinch of salt. Actions are far more forgiving. If you feel as though you have been treated unjust then you need to stand up for yourself and let her know. It's a ... (read in full...)
When we travel my wife of 21 years changes and becomes easily offended when on vacations. What's the solution to this problem?
Q. I'm tired of traveling with my wife of 21 years who will ruin a trip by becoming over sensitive and easily offended by any little thing. Otherwise, she is a rough and tumble type that jokes around a lot and a lot of fun to be with. But on vacat...
A. 30 September 2015: Have you spoken her her about this at all? If it's you that she is getting annoyed with is it at all possible that you could be part of the problem without realising. Not discounting your frustration or finger pointing but 21 years of marriage is a ... (read in full...)
I recently discovered that my husband had secretly taken nude photos of me while we had sex. How would you react
Q. Would you be a) be flattered and not let it bother you, b) be disgusted c) feel violated d) be angry and could never forgive him e) be confused f) wonder if he secretly takes pictures of other women in public unbeknownst to them g) be on edge if ...
A. 29 September 2015: I'd feel violated, furious, betrayed just to name a few. I would be so angry and like you mention, fearful of exactly where and what he is doing with them, that I would probably see what options I had, before confronting him, from a legal standpoi... (read in full...)
Is Using A Dildo If You're A Virgin Safe?
Q. I'm saving it for the right guy. Anyway, I want something "up there" but I'm pretty sure I haven't lost my hymen as I've barely even fingered myself and I feel really tight because I am petite. I can get myself to orgasm without penetration ...
A. 29 September 2015: Sweetie you can tear your hymen riding a bike or riding a horse but it is possible using a dildo. Using enough lubricant can help minimise the possibility and lessen any pain. Speaking of pain and blood loss, pain varies and blood loss is a bit like ... (read in full...)
Is it too dangerous for me to be delivering pizza?
Q. This isn't a relationship question but I would like the honest opinions if the people here on dearcupid. I am a 20 year old girl and a college student. I have been hired as a part time pizza delivery driver for a local pizza place. At fi...
A. 29 September 2015: Only a crystal ball can tell if you are going to get hurt but the chances in this type of work are higher.I wouldn't let my child, male or female do it. What about making the pizza? Good on you for wanting to get some work while you study but ... (read in full...)
Is my local Starbucks barista flirting with me?
Q. Is my local Starbucks barista flirting with me? So everything I go to my local Starbucks the same guy is there. When I first encountered him he told me that my nails was pretty. I'm guessing that that is a icebreaker. And another time he told he ...
A. 28 September 2015: Id say he's flirting. I mean to be staring at you when you come in and he is not even serving you yet suggest he is. It might be a bit unprofessional for him to do anything more so are you going to ask him out? Maybe for a Hudsons LOL... (read in full...)
My childhood friend is passively mean to me!
Q. Hey all, So I have this friend I grew up with. He is a little eccentric in his behavior but we had a fun childhood together. He was my best friend for a very long time. As we grew, I guess he started liking me and still does I guess. I love hi...
A. 28 September 2015: Its really up to you if you can forgive him. If you want too then do it, don't be stubborn about it. I would assume that if he knows you so well he should be told he should know better than to be thinking that your motives for being interested in ... (read in full...)
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