A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello cupidI'm recently committed after a long time and I have been very comfortable and happy with my girlfriend. Before meeting my girlfriend, many girls showed interest but I was adamant to stay single till I find the person I can be fully myself and comfortable.Now that I'm comitted, many girls flirt more with me even when I tell them I'm committed. They pass comments like " they'd steal me from my girlfriend etc etc"I was wondering, when you are committed to someone why more women try to hunt you as a partner?Secondly, I am very happy and comfortable with my partner but then again, today I felt like flirting with a girl even though I am happy. ( I didn't flirt and straight away told her I'm committed when she tried to hug and kiss my cheeks and pass those flirty comments). It was surprising that the thought came. Now I have distanced myself from most women around just as precaution but these two questions baffle me that why do other women suddenly become so much interesting when you are happy and committed?
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (2 December 2015):
 I think it's lame that women do this, but here's why I believe it happens: insecure women are more interested in something when they know other women have give it their "stamp of approval".
Example, take a sale at a clothing store. This happens all the time. A woman will walk up to a piece of clothing, look at it, not sure if she wants it, and then just walk away. But, if there's another woman there, who looks eager to grab the piece of clothing, the first woman will make sure to snatch it! Even if she otherwise would not have bought it. However, if they first women doesn't want it, the second women will likely not grab it either, as it wasn't "approved" by the first one.
A sure way to make a woman buy something is to tell her "If you don't want it then I'll have it".
It's what insecure women do. They can't trust they own judgment, so they trust the judgment of others. When another woman gives it the green light, they will want it too. When you were single, the insecure women wouldn't want you because no one else wanted you. Now that you're in a relationship, they subconsciously think "oh, someone else wants him, that means he's okay and I should want him too".
What it really means is that all of these women who are interested in you just because you are in a relationship, are pathetic and lame and can't stand their ground or form an opinion. So not women you'd want anyway.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (30 November 2015):
 It's the same for both genders. If you are recently committed and happy - it shows. More the "happy" part than the committed. So wo(men) see a happy guy/girl... and hit on him/her. People are ATTRACTED to happy people.
I honestly had more men hit on me AFTER I found myself in a relationship, and even after I got married and wore my wedding bands. Which IMHO is ridiculous, but true.
And then of course you have the women who NOW see you as a "safe guy" to flirt with, because the flirting would lead to nowhere.
Last but not least, You might be more perceptive to the flirting than you were before. Before your GF you had a "one-track-mind" which was "FIND the RIGHT GF", so anyone not seeming like "GF-material" you would ignore. Now that you GOT a GF you have let those walls down.
As for the "I'd steal you from your GF" shows one thing, they are lacking in the morality/decency/maturity department. The "forbidden fruit". You are being objectified.... as people can't "steal" a person, only a things.... I would not really take that as a compliment, really.
And I agree with Ivy. Not flirting while in a relationship is about emotionally intelligent, mature and just using plain common sense. And I hope you don't brag to your GF about ALLLLLL these girls who are now hitting on you. Because all THAT accomplish, is her thinking you rather want to be single.
As for wanting to flirt back... For some it's second nature. For other's it feels nice to be "appreciated" - and then to some it makes them feel uncomfortable. Just because you and your GF are now in a relationship doesn't mean you went blind and deaf. You will still notice attractive people/flirty people - whether you ACT on it or not... well, that is up to you and your values, boundaries and morals.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (30 November 2015):
 Forbidden fruit just looks all that bit tastier and to answer your second question you are in a relationship not dead and the urge to flirt is natural. Knowing not too is the art of being emotionally intelligent.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2015): Because people want what they can't have - ie - YOU!!
It's the thrill of the chase - it makes it more of a challenge.
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