A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Just a simple question. If I see a nice girl going past and I just say "excuse me, are you busy" or "are you in a hurry?". Wouldn't that be the best opener to judge if she's interested? Her response would show straight away if she has any interest and would also give her the chance to politely reject?Would you agree? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (22 December 2015):
 I would feel that there was something creepy about guys waiting around for girls to come out of a nightclub or a pub. I would not find this normal behavior or indeed a normal place to pick up women.
If you are genuinely wanting to meet someone well you are going around it the wrong way.
A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (22 December 2015):
 "Having a good night?" if your standing around because even a yes or no response can lead you to asking more questions and engage in conversation. As for your first question I think a lot of women would keep moving,unless of course they are very drunk and silly but thats no way to pick up and take advantage of a woman in that state.
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (22 December 2015):
 "I see a nice girl going past and I just say "excuse me, are you busy" or "are you in a hurry?"
Quite honestly, if I was on my own (which I am assuming you would only say to single girls on their own) I would probably be quite scared and think that you wanted to either attack me, kidnap me, or rape me, or a combination of the three.
If I say, no I am not, would you assume no one would miss me if I disappeared?
Women are on the lookout all the time because of perverts and criminals - too many women end up seriously hurt or dead because some guy has taken a fancy to them on a night out and taken advantage of them being alone and vulnerable.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (21 December 2015):
 No I don't think it's a grand idea. You have no idea where she is going or what she just left. And you obviously have no idea how vulnerable a woman feels even when out on the town.
Women (in general) don't like getting accosted on the streets when they are alone. I agree with Tisha - I would not have responded to your attempt at interactions, I would have kept on walking.
I think if you want to get to know a girl or pick up a girl, you have a better chance INSIDE a bar/pub.
Go out with some friend talk to a group of girls and then see if any of them seems interested, then focus on her.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (21 December 2015):
 If you are standing around on a corner in a busy entertainment district then your opener will most likely be dismissed. You'll be considered a sidewalk creeper then.
Why not go into a pub or a bar and sit with a friend and start up conversations with women?
Back when I was single if a guy tried this approach I would just keep on moving without responding. it's a bit weird, OP, really and truly, you sound like you are fishing with a worm on a hook in a brook. If you really want to land a catch, you will have to invest in learning some conversational openers.
Do you have any friends you can go into a pub or club with?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2015): Op here. I'm asking if it's in a street of nightlife where people are going from and to pubs and clubs and pick ups are usual
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2015): If this happened on the street I would assume you were trying to sell me something or some charity collection. Many other people would too. If you don't know the girl at ALL, then this is weird. If you want to meet people then perhaps look at singles events, or take up a sport or whatever you're interested in. Approaching strangers in the street seems to be a bit intimidating. I personally wouldn't like a man to do that, it just makes you come across as someone solely interested in how somebody looks - because that's the only reason you're trying to talk to them - and it's also a bit scary for a woman on her own to be approached by a random man on the street.If there is someone you see often, like in a coffee shop or on the bus, then you could just try starting conversation "great weather we're having..." "we must stop meeting like this" something impersonal and just friendly chat would be nicer than just stopping someone and asking them if they're busy or in a hurry.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (21 December 2015):
Well it depends, if it is just a random girl on the street that you do not know well then she is going to have no interest if you are a completely stranger.
If it is someone you have met before and you are wanting to try and get to know them then I would recommend just saying hello and asking them how there day is going.
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