A
female
age
41-50,
*e.you.tiful.forever
writes:As most men do, my bf dislike shopping for anything. Especially xmas shopping.. So I've done all of it this year... Including a few little gifts for myself.. Then today I get a text saying that he totally forgot he needs to buy a gift for is ex from his kid.. I'm not sure how to feel about this.. He can't take the time to shop for me and my kids, but he will for his kid and for her?? How would you feel
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2015): I think he's quite a nice person for buying a gift for his child's mother on behalf of them. The child is probably too young to go and get it for her. He knows that you buy all the other presents and you are organised in doing that.Maybe you should bring up that it would be nice if he bought your presents for you, but as you go and do this around Xmas maybe he thought it was all taken care of.It's really close to Xmas so he sounds disorganised anyway leaving it so late to get this present off his child. When I separated from my kids father he bought me mothers day things and birthday presents as my girls were only little. My mother buys my sister a gift from her son as his father is out out of the picture and never even sees him. He doesn't even buy him a birthday present which is sad.I don't think you should be hurt by it, it's something most fathers should do. He feels like he has to do it but as you already go out and buy your own he didn't think that he had to.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (22 December 2015):
 In my house I do all the shopping (more or less) for presents. We make a budget, I shop, wrap etc. I shop for our 3 kids and and "his" 3 kids/my step-kids as well. Occasionally he has a brilliant idea for the kids and that gets worked into the budget. I have to say I am WAY better at buying presents than he is, and I love shopping for gifts. (he really doesn't).
I do NOT shop for his ex wife, nor has he bought her anything since we got married (as far as I know) There is absolutely no reason to buy the ex a gift, the kids YES, her... no. And he shouldn't put THAT on you, unless it's something YOU want to do.
I would tell him that you find it hurtful that he can take time for HER and their kids, but not for you and yours.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2015): I would feel like eating all the turkey, mince pies and downing all the mulled wine, and just having a real good time (for your childs sake)not the time to get annoyed and create atmospheres. Remember santa may have a surprise for you also. Don't risk spoiling xmas, even though i would also feel a little disgruntled. Sometimes we just have to forget our own feelings and think of the little ones, who would pick up the slightest unhappiness at a time that's supposed to be magical.I hope you have a great time, don't brood on this one, put your feet up, chill out, do the above and remember he walked that extra mile for his child not his x (even if it looks like that). Ps eat all the chocolates as well :)Life is too short, treasure the moments and make the happy memories, and be excited about a new year, because some don't get that gift. Happy Christmas!
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (22 December 2015):
 As I read it you don't have an issue with him buying the gift on behalf of his kids, rather the fact that he hasn't taken your kids and done the same for you-right? if you are annoyed about the gift, thats very petty because its not about her or him it is about the child and the message of Christmas which is giving not receiving, remember like us they get excited too about giving . Just as important for you children too and yes I agree he has been an insensitive dope but in his defence if you have chosen to take the Xmas shopping and the likes on board without letting it known that he has some role and responsibility and your expectation to do something about it then there is your reason for him being slack. Let him know, no need to get all cranky just hand him over some money and say this is for you to take *insert your kids name* to buy something from them to me for Xmas. Dont let this spoil your Merry Christmas
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2015): Don't treat him like a child. Simply don't buy gifts on his behalf. Give him ideas of what you would like, what your children would like and then expect him to get it. You could arrange a morning or afternoon where you go together. Men aren't children, and treating them like you'd treat a teenager doesn't do anyone any favours.
He should be buying a present for his child and one for his child to give his ex - he should perhaps ask his child out shopping with him if possible to make thay choice. I would mention to him that you find it upsetting you have had to buy your own, and that you won't do it again as he clearly can remember when he needs to.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (21 December 2015):
 As a father he should be buying gifts for his child so there should be no issue with this. However you need to tell him you are upset that he has time to buy his ex a gift and not you.
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