I'd like to catch up with him. How can I work out his intentions? I don't want to reopen myself to old hurts
Q. My relationship ended a few months ago. Initially I didn't take things very well and did/said things I regret (I went through the whole crying and clinging stage). I still feel very strongly towards this guy and wish things were different but am s...
A. 3 April 2015: The thought of reconciliation with someone you shared your life with, whether briefly or otherwise, is a very tempting prospect. In fact, a recent survey has shown that couples who break up and get back together again often end up parting ... (read in full...)
My husband masturbates to porn and turns me away when I try to initiate!
Q. I need some advice and opinion here. To sum it up in a gist, my husband has been married to me for two years now, but recently I found out that he masturbates to porn. This has happened several times. When I confronted him about it, he got agita...
A. 30 March 2015: Unfortunately, whether a partner uses porn whilst being in a relationship is acceptable or not, will always be a grey area. It really depends on who you pose this question to, some will agree with it (in fact, some actually do encourage this ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to fantasize about another guy when you are married with kids?
Q. Hi, is it normal to fantasize about another guy when you are married with kids? We have been married for 22 years. I am for the most part happily married but when things don't seem to be going right--meaning a disagreement or frustration in our ...
A. 30 March 2015: It depends on who you put this question out to. Many might not agree with me, but personally, I find it absolutely normal behaviour to fantasize about someone else whilst in a long term relationship. It's not ideal, and it can be hurtful to your ... (read in full...)
I need some advice on how to be a success with the ladies!
Q. Another week, another night where I see people getting off with people in clubs, while I sit idly by unable to meet anyone myself. I'm starting to feel completely useless. I seem to be the only sad f**ker in the world who doesn't know how to comm...
A. 12 March 2009: If you read your post carefully, you'll find that you already have answers to your question. You can't sit idly, or play eye contact with some young lady the whole night and then expect her to suggest coming back to your place? Yeah, you do get ... (read in full...)
PLEASE help me get my ex back!
Q. hello there.. my gf n i juz broke up a month ago from our 3 years relationship.. we were very happy, great n a loving couple all dis while when suddenly she wants out.. she said dat she couldn't handle my ego nymore n she's lacking in my atte...
A. 3 March 2009: Yes, there are ways to HELP you fight an uphill battle in trying to increase your chances of winning your girlfriend back, but at the end of the day, it pretty much boils down to her.
Right, first of all, give her that pair of wings and let her ... (read in full...)
I'm lonely and think I'm going to get crazy!
Q. Since i broke up from a 10 year relationship in 2005 it has been very hard for me to find a stable relationship. My relationships only last for about 3-4 months, if i don't dump the guy, he dumps me. Sometimes i think i'm too wild in bed, then ...
A. 10 February 2009: You should be very careful not to fall into the trap that most people do when they are in your situation, the trap of being desperate. The scent of desperation can be traced from a mile away from the opposite sex, and trust me, it is not a good ... (read in full...)
Who can get me the right solution and enable me to get confidence and and happiness
Q. The main reason I am using this site is to get out of the trouble I am in and have a happy life with my wife. As I have explained in my question I have very short and thin penis - 4inches long when erect and stay very short on bed-less than a ...
A. 7 November 2008: You need to shift the focus of what you can't provide, to what you can instead. Realise that you will never be the 7-incher (unless you go for an operation), but what you can be is something else. You should focus on your ability to satisfy your ... (read in full...)
How can I get over this crippling lack of confidence and start dating?
Q. I am a 36 year old virgin and I am starting to get truly depressed about my situation. I still live with my parents and the only sexual contact I have had was a brief hand-job whilst I was a student at college. My only relief now is masturbation. ...
A. 7 November 2008: It seems you already know the answers to your question, as most people do when they come on here. Changing one's self is by no means an easy task, and it will never be. Its literally the fight against nature, to challenge things that want to ... (read in full...)
How can I get over this crippling lack of confidence and start dating?
Q. I am a 36 year old virgin and I am starting to get truly depressed about my situation. I still live with my parents and the only sexual contact I have had was a brief hand-job whilst I was a student at college. My only relief now is masturbation. ...
A. 6 November 2008: You are right, the problem here is the lack of self confidence. Try looking at it this way, things are never going to change themselves if not made to change. If you want want to meet women, the only way to do it is to go out and meet them, because ... (read in full...)
Why are my friends so mean to me?
Q. Hello people of this earth! I need desprate help with my friends. I love my friends with all my heart, but sometimes I honest to God just want to die. Well, I'm not the most popular girl in school. I am actually considered nerd, geek, wierdo, freak, ...
A. 30 October 2008: Things people say or do will always have an effect on us, despite those that tell you that they dont let it affect them. Having said that, you need to realise that things will be and are different once you're out of school. According to surveys, ... (read in full...)
Can you stay friends with someone you were in a relationship with?
Q. Can I still be a friend? Hello everyone. I have asked this before, but the question remains. I was in a very long relationship with this woman. We still talk/see each other on occasion. I guess what I am asking is: If you say yes-How did you do i...
A. 6 July 2008: If the breakup was due to a mutual basis, then staying as friends with him/her wouldnt be that much of a problem. The problem only creeps in when the breakup wasn't amicable, mutually agreed or when one partner, although mutually agreed to breakup, ... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm too small to have sex doggy style!!
Q. OK well im new to this and my question is: is my penis to small for "doggy style" my penis is 5.5 and my gf butt is pretty big. we havent had sex yet since we just got together but when we talk about it she talks about "doggy style" but i...
A. 25 June 2008: You are right, the situation with the woman having a bigger bottom and the man having a shorter penis could pose a problem to sex when it comes to doing it doggy style. The problem here is that the man may have a shorter range of pelvic thrust ... (read in full...)
Are there any steps I can take to prevent me ending up with no life other than him?
Q. There has been a similar question on here today but my situation has some suitble differences. I have been with my boyfriend 4 years, through that period I had had strong friends, but through changing jobs, leaving school/ uni. I have generall...
A. 25 June 2008: You're very smart in trying to keep some of your life to yourself. Too much of something or someone is never a good thing and not a lot of people realise that. I believe that just by realising this, you have already won half the battle in being less ... (read in full...)
I always end up with a wrong partner, what am I doing wrong?
Q. Way is it that everytime i think i found the right guy.I allways end up with the wrong one,the partner i have cheated on me so many times and i will like to know what am i doing wrong....
A. 22 June 2008: You cannot be a 100% certain that someone is not going to cheat on you or hurt you in a relationship, so don't beat yourself over it. Unfortunately, there's nothing you can do but to chalk it down to experience if a relationship fails, or if your ... (read in full...)
My marriage has quickly become angry and bitter over my husbands job opportunity in another country... how should I handle this?
Q. My marriage has quickly become angry and bitter over my husbands job 'opportunity'. He works for a finance company who wants to set up offices in Australia (either Sydney or Melbourne they are not sure which at the moment) and they have asked him ...
A. 6 June 2008: I am an Australian working in the UK, so understand what you're going through. Having said that, I am not married so do not have the sort of burden and responsibility you have right now. But what I can do is to tell you a little bit about my ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend told me to "grow a pair fo balls". She is leaps ahead of me.
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for 7 years and lived with her for 6 of those years. I suffer from depression and am known to cut off from the world and lately she has been getting on with her university and making friends and I have just been a bit ...
A. 23 May 2008: You seem like a very nice person, but a very nice person is all you are. Most nice people have a tendency to overcompensate their insecurities for being extra nice, and when that happens, you lose the excitement of being a mystery, a challenge, and ... (read in full...)
I need advice about weight lifting. Can you help?
Q. I'm15 years old, 155 lbs, about 5,6 ft and i was wondering about looking better. See i still have some weight to lose about 10-15 lbs, and then i thought it would be good to start lifting weights. I was wondering how long in between do i have to ...
A. 22 May 2008: Lifting is all about consistent lifting and eating loads of protein to have muscle gains. 3 to 4 days a week, giving every alternate day a rest day, is the ideal training schedule. The key is to allow at least a full day for your body to rest and ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of 2 years makes me feel... insignificant. What should I do?
Q. Ok I've been with my boyfriend for about 2 years now. Lately theres been a few things that have really gotten me upset. 1. This morning (I stayed over at his the night before) we both woke up to his phone ringing, it was his friend. When he ...
A. 26 April 2008: He's obviously not ready to have a girlfriend. What he needs is a no strings attached kinda relationship. You dont deserve to be treated that way, no one is. ... (read in full...)
How can I make myself believe there's no hope of a future with him?
Q. I'm 27. I dated a guy for two and a half years, and he was the love of my life. It wasn't my first serious, long-term relationship, or even the first time i'd been in love, but it was the first time i felt like I knew what people meant when they ...
A. 2 January 2008: Trust is of the utmost importance in a relationship. Without it, all else fails. It might not be a bad thing at all for you guys to go your own separate ways, in fact it does more good than harm. You are however, a little bit more hung up on this ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to have a non-sexual relationship?
Q. I really need someone out there to help me this important decision of my life.....I am 35 years old and has been trying very very hard to go after a guy of 43 years old for the past 2 years. He is a successful businessman, financially stable, ...
A. 27 December 2007: Plain Jane,
The problem here at this very moment isn't about his ability to perform sexually, or the lack thereof shall we say. It is about how he hasn't even made any 'solid' moves on you yet after all these years. He's checked up on you, yes... (read in full...)
Is it possible to have a non-sexual relationship?
Q. I really need someone out there to help me this important decision of my life.....I am 35 years old and has been trying very very hard to go after a guy of 43 years old for the past 2 years. He is a successful businessman, financially stable, ...
A. 27 December 2007: Plain Jane,
The problem here at this very moment isn't about his ability to perform sexually, or the lack thereof shall we say. It is about how he hasn't even made any 'solid' moves on you yet after all these years. He's checked up on you, yes... (read in full...)
Are people interested in dating a mixed-race person?
Q. Are people interested in dating a mixed race person? the reason i ask is i am a mixed race girl , 23 years old , a virgin never had a boyfriend or date and i don't know why . my father white and my mother black. any way i would mind being with som...
A. 14 December 2007: I feel compelled to answer this question as I am biracial myself. You shouldnt be worrying about the race factor. Most people don't look at race when they are dating. They just see what they find attractive in a person, be it looks, personality, ... (read in full...)
I want to go abroad... but he says he loves me less for it!
Q. I have been having a relationship with a guy for two years and it's pretty serious upto the point of marriage.I want to go abroad for higher studies but he doesn't like it. He agreed to it reluctantly but he told me once that he loves me less ...
A. 7 December 2007: Breaking up isn't always the answer to troubled relationships, and it shouldn't be.
My assessment of the problem is this, he loves you dearly but is very afraid that he might lose you one day due to you moving away for your studies, to the poin... (read in full...)
I really love her, but is her emotional blackmail a good reason to stay with her?
Q. Hi. I’m having a real crisis of the heart here. Let me explain. I’m not really sure if I’m happy in my current relationship and I think we need a break. My g/f and I have been together for a year now and we moved in together approximately tw...
A. 29 November 2007: You sound like a fairly intelligent man, so it shouldnt be difficult to rationalise with you. Its not your fault that you suddenly find yourself in a position where you can't seem to get your head around. The moving in together has probably smacked ... (read in full...)
Can we restore our family unit or even our marriage or is it only a matter of time before he builds up the courage to leave me?
Q. I have recently caught my husband having an affair, we have been married 14 years and have 3 children. I told my husband I still love him and want him to stay, he said he would stay only to be with our children who he loves more than anything and ...
A. 15 November 2007: As much as you'd hate to hear this, you should find the courage in you to leave this very unhealthy relationship. You have even gone to the extreme to give him another chance after catching him have an affair, but to no avail. The truth is, he isn't ... (read in full...)
She sent nude pictures of herself to this other guy. Will I get over it?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been dating for 4 years and living together for three. Last month she moved out and got an apartment because she said I wasn't ready to move forward with the relationship and I had been taking her for granted. I told her...
A. 14 November 2007: It hurts deeply when your partner abuses the trust you give to them, especially when it comes to showing the flesh. Some might say its only visual, that she never engaged in anything else apart from that, but the thought of some other guy who ... (read in full...)
I'm confused and don't have anyone to talk to.
Q. I sure how to start. I usually get online to checkout banking and that sort of things. I so confused and dont have anyone to talk to about this. I'v been married for 24 years with its normal ups and downs. We moved a year ago to be around are ...
A. 15 October 2007: It is wise of you to have not cross the line with this other guy whilst you still have a husband. You have to be sure of your feelings before you act on anything. The last thing you want is for you to jeopardise years of memories and happiness with ... (read in full...)
She won't call me or talk to me.
Q. I broke up with my old gf back in June. We'd been together about a year and a half. Started dating this other girl(B) who lives 45 mins away from me in August. Now some may think this is classic rebound behavior. Maybe maybe not, but I don't th...
A. 15 October 2007: Wait for her to come to you is all you can do. If she needed someone to confide in, she would've either come to you or her friends, but clearly she isn't at the moment as she has been avoiding most people. This is a strong indication that she's not ... (read in full...)
Is skipping breakfast going to make you gain weight?
Q. if you dont eat your breakfast in the morning. is this helping a diet because your eating less or is it making it worse. Ive hurd not eating in the morning makes you gain weight...
A. 5 October 2007: Skipping breakfast doesnt make you gain weight in the act itself. It makes you go hungry, thus eating more during lunch becomes a temptation. You only gain weight quickly and jeopardise your diet when you skip breakfast and then eat a large portion ... (read in full...)
Do you think my teacher might have the hots for me?
Q. I'm not really sure if my teacher is interested in me and I really need to find out. I'm going to say right now that I do NOT have a crush on him, i'm just wondering if I need to back away or not. For staters, he talks to me for as long as he can. ...
A. 18 September 2007: He does show signs of having a crush on you, but then again, Im only seeing one side of the coin. I cant say if he really does like you that way (no facial gauge), but he sure sounds like a flirty guy. He seems the sort of person who loves giving ... (read in full...)
The guy I'm dating calls too often, disfocusing me from my studies. How to let him know not to disturb me?
Q. Its almost 4 am. Im awake. Thats ok,im student and study usualy at night. Well, here is the problem. Im dating with a guy who presumably now has problems with sleeping,... Dont want to sound unsympathetic or , but this guy knows that i have strict ...
A. 11 September 2007: You need to sort this out from the root, other wise it will never work. He clearly is not getting the picture that you require time to yourself to study. I suggest talking to him face to face nicely, try explaining to him that you really hope he ... (read in full...)
I took a relationship break, my ex's best friend is a girl who talks nastily about me now, though she doesn't know me.
Q. my ex boyfriend and i took a break because all we would do was argue we couldnt communicate with eachother, his best friend is a girl and today i look at her away message and it said "leave her she is not good for u, u want her so bad but behind her ...
A. 11 September 2007: I dont think you should be worried about your ex's friend talking bad about you behind your back, in fact, the one you should be casting your doubts upon should be your ex himself. There is no way in the world that this friend of his will be talking ... (read in full...)
Is my wife being honest about going through with a threesome?
Q. Is my wife being honest about going through with a threesome? I have had the fantasy of seeing my wife with another man for 2-years now. I have asked her about it and she always said no. I make little comments and suggestions all the time. Finall...
A. 29 August 2007: You have got yourself a very loyal woman who loves you to bits and would do anything in the world to please you. From your detailed description of what happened that day, it seems very clear that she wasn't enjoying the whole threesome experience at ... (read in full...)
I don't want to be "that girl," but I really like a married man
Q. Two years ago, I met a guy who I ended up falling for. He had literally just got into a relationship, so I didn't try anything, and I certainly didn't say anything about how I felt about him. His girlfriend ended up getting pregnant- so they ended ...
A. 24 August 2007: Its always hard to decide on something when your heart and mind are pulling you in two different directions. You clearly know that what you are doing is wrong, but obviously can't steer clear of this guy, and its understandable. But you have to ... (read in full...)
I love her so much but I know I need to give her some space.
Q. I have been getting used to not seeing my girl as often as before. I am bothered sometimes by the fact that I make every effort to see her. I mean sometimes it just feels like I really really want to see her but those feelings are going away ...
A. 15 August 2007: You talk about giving her space to breathe, which is all good and well, but what you fail to realise is that you are actually giving the both of you space to breathe, yes, even yourself. You want to see her often, and probably so does she. But in ... (read in full...)
I want to stay with her but her trust issues are making it very difficult
Q. Hi- I have a tough one. I am engaged to a girl that I have only known for 1.5 years and we have a 9 week old baby. She wants the relationship, yet has some serious trust and insecurity issues. Her dad cheated on her mom and her mother told her...
A. 1 August 2007: Theres only so much one can do in situations like these, and it seems as though you've tried everything you already could. Its not your obligation to make her change, although its very understandable that you try to for the sake of your baby. The ... (read in full...)
Now I have moved away and live on my own do you think there will be any future for us and how can I go about getting him back even If I have to share him.
Q. I got in contact with my first love again last year and we both confessed to each other that both our marriage's was over and that we still loved each other and wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. The his partner found out about us and ...
A. 24 July 2007: Calm down Kimbow, breathe. You sound suffocated and it doesnt take a genius to figure out why.
Try seeing it this way, when you want to resort a problem, where do you think is the most effective place to start? At the very core and root of the p... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and I haven't had sex for over a year and a half, I love him but can't take all the frustration anymore.
Q. My boyfriend and I haven't had sex for over a year and a half, I love him but can't take all the frustration anymore. He won't talk about it and we just end up fighting. Any help or advice?...
A. 24 July 2007: Yes, I do think you are currently having the right kind of mindset. If things do work out, then great, if not, then theres nothing more you can do. Leaving the country for work seems to be an ideal situation to create less tension. I wish you all ... (read in full...)
How do I get him to the next step--commitment and marriage?
Q. I want to move my boy closer to commitment and marriage and i want to ask what's more important to a guy --to focus on appearance, being sexy etc., or to be more vocationally successful? I thought he wanted me to clean my apartment more, ...
A. 20 July 2007: You seem to be worrying too much about the little details and seem to be nelgecting the bigger picture. You see, if a guy loves you, he'll love you and want to be with you, wrinkled hand, successful or appearance regardless. If he doesnt, then no ... (read in full...)
Dating me again is not what she wanted. So how do I rekindle what we had?
Q. my ex fiance broke up with me about a year ago.even after the breakup i,m still in love with her and i think about her all the time.recently i was told that she would like to make things workout...she states that she was afraid and that after going ...
A. 20 July 2007: The title is fairly misleading, and if I understand you correctly, this is what I perceive you to mean with your post.
Rekindling something you had a year ago isn't something that is easy to accomplish and not exactly healthy in my opinion.... (read in full...)
Now I have moved away and live on my own do you think there will be any future for us and how can I go about getting him back even If I have to share him.
Q. I got in contact with my first love again last year and we both confessed to each other that both our marriage's was over and that we still loved each other and wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. The his partner found out about us and ...
A. 19 July 2007: Hi Kimbow,
Do bear in mind that it will not be easy at all to break free from this guy, but you have to do it. Like you said, you cannot carry on like this. Its totally not fair on your part when he gets his his wife and you at the same time!! H... (read in full...)
Now I have moved away and live on my own do you think there will be any future for us and how can I go about getting him back even If I have to share him.
Q. I got in contact with my first love again last year and we both confessed to each other that both our marriage's was over and that we still loved each other and wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. The his partner found out about us and ...
A. 14 June 2007: Kimbow,
Believe you me, you are doing the right thing in moving on and not putting your life on hold. Time waits for no man/woman and you can't possibly wait around for him to come to his senses, and neither should he expect you to do so.
The ... (read in full...)
Now I have moved away and live on my own do you think there will be any future for us and how can I go about getting him back even If I have to share him.
Q. I got in contact with my first love again last year and we both confessed to each other that both our marriage's was over and that we still loved each other and wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. The his partner found out about us and ...
A. 12 June 2007: Things will only get more complicated if you do not stop putting yourself in a vulnerable position. I understand its extremely hard to let go of someone you think of dearly and as a soulmate, but sometimes, loving someone doesn't necessarily mean ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and I haven't had sex for over a year and a half, I love him but can't take all the frustration anymore.
Q. My boyfriend and I haven't had sex for over a year and a half, I love him but can't take all the frustration anymore. He won't talk about it and we just end up fighting. Any help or advice?...
A. 9 June 2007: Good to know you've made progress with him. As you already realised, lack of sex is always just a front in relationships, there usually is a deeper issue at hand which needs a little bit of digging. Whatever it is, take baby steps, dont rush the ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and I haven't had sex for over a year and a half, I love him but can't take all the frustration anymore.
Q. My boyfriend and I haven't had sex for over a year and a half, I love him but can't take all the frustration anymore. He won't talk about it and we just end up fighting. Any help or advice?...
A. 8 June 2007: If the relationship comes to a complete halt even after you've tried pushing it over and over again in the same direction, you have to look at other alternatives, which is to either push in a different direction, or start pulling. Sometimes having a ... (read in full...)
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