A
female
age
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*anya121
writes:I sure how to start. I usually get online to checkout banking and that sort of things. I so confused and dont have anyone to talk to about this. I'v been married for 24 years with its normal ups and downs. We moved a year ago to be around are grandkids and also my husband was ill. He's doing better now. I met someone who happens to be live next door. Both of new something was there but left it alone for respect of my husband. For the last few months we have been spending a lot more time together. We have not cross the line in any respect, but i think i love him. I just need some advice, or some to tell me to wake and get you sell together. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (15 October 2007):
He is a new friend. Tell your husband about him. And don't get physically involved with him.
A
female
reader, laurenaddict +, writes (15 October 2007):
I think it might be the pursuit that you want, the adventure, the newness of it all. How do I know because I was in the same position some time ago and decided to stop it before it became something else. I also realized I should stop and tell my husband what it was that I needed from him and not someone who I had known less than a year.
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reader, I Dont Lie +, writes (15 October 2007):
 It is wise of you to have not cross the line with this other guy whilst you still have a husband. You have to be sure of your feelings before you act on anything. The last thing you want is for you to jeopardise years of memories and happiness with your current family just for something you think you feel for another man, or even worse, lust. A lot of people confuse love for lust, and end up finding themselves making the biggest mistakes of their lives by leaving the ones they really love for someone else whom they thought they had strong feelings for.
It will not be fair for me or anyone to say to you that leaving your husband for this other guy will not work out, but you need to realise that the foundation and relationship you have built with your husband and family over the years took time and effort, so ask yourself if you honestly are willing to just throw everything you've worked for away in just what I would say a few months of emotional affair? The choice at the end of the day is of course yours, but do look at this at every possible way you can and properly evaluate if its all really that worth it at the end of the day, as theres usually no turning back once you make the decision to walk out the door. Its a one way street from then on. Think about it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2007): Hello
It was good that you decided to get others opinion before you make any decisions which could effect the rest of your life.
You have done the right thing to not cross the line and whilst you feel that you may be falling in love with your neighbour, I think you are just needing perhaps a little support in your life and something to look forward to. I don't think it is your man next door. Maybe the feelings you are having is partly the newness of having someone to talk to.
I beleive your feelings at the moment are not love for this man at all. Love is being with someone for 24 years, bringing up children, experiancing the day to day life with the person you chose through sickness and in health to be there for. Enjoying your grandchildren and having respect for the man you married.
Life isn't always warm fuzzies, it sometimes is a pain and a bore, but if we drift on and don't try to make what is already part of our lives better and more exciting, then we are opting out of our responsibility in the marriage to make things better and more fullfilling.
Think about what you feel this man is giving you that you need from you husband. Why would you want to confuse your life by thinking about this man. How can you honestly say that you are giving 100% to your husband and marriage if you still have time to spend and think about someone else.
Bottom line - it's wrong and you know it - your perhaps looking for an escape from your reality, but you can't run away and feel good about you, if you haven't tried to find it in your own marriage with the man you have spent 24 years with. Isn't that worth recapturing? Get some action going with your husband, don't right him off!
While your focus is on the temptation of this man next door, think about the type of man who is happy to "covet thy neighbours wife!" Maybe there are a few dark clouds around this guy, ask yourself if he is worth loosing your present life for? Is he a better bet than the man you would betray.
I am sure many, many men and women feel at some point like you are now. A little attention and feeling that we matter gets us spinning around with the 'what if's'.
The big difference with the many men and women are the ones who make the wrong decisions and later regret it!
Good luck with your decision. But I think you already know what you are prepared to live with.....
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