A
male
age
36-40,
*iceguy07
writes:I have been getting used to not seeing my girl as often as before. I am bothered sometimes by the fact that I make every effort to see her. I mean sometimes it just feels like I really really want to see her but those feelings are going away everyday. She is awesome, she is so much fun to be with, the sexual chemistry is great, and we enjoy the simplest things together like just watching TV. I am not an expert by any means in a relationship and I need help cuz I know that what I have in her is the best thing ever, and I don't want to lose it because I don't know how to adjust. So there are a few things I need help in understanding, one is why I love to be here every possible minute I can get and she sometimes wants a little room? Am I way too into her? I know I should give her the room but it's not like I see her everyday. Lately it's been down to 2-4 times a week and not for more than 3-4 hours at a time.As I write this question and read it over I can see whoah, I just need to give her the room but any suggestions on how I can adjust to it naturally? I have lately just not been caring and I let her ring or text me up as she pleases. Help please, I don't want to stop loving her.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2007): yea, you do right by giving her space.. my gf broke up with me cause I didnt understand that she needed space. when she used to say she needed space I thought she were playing with me but hmm stupid as I am now I'v lost the love I ever loved.. :(
A
male
reader, niceguy07 +, writes (15 August 2007):
niceguy07 is verified as being by the original poster of the question you know u guys are right. i am not clingy but i will admit to giving up doing something else to hang out with her. as for not talking to her when i actually can, that sounds like some good advice. it makes sense that we need to see less of each other to miss each other. but as far as amle friends i have but maybe 1. i had some personal issues that involved me making some decisions on how i would live my life. ONce i got myself away i really have not wanted to make any new friends. i guess these last few weeks have not helped cuz in the last 5 days i have worked only once. but i am working quite a few days in the next week and class is just around the corner. thank you for the advice i really do appreciate it.
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A
reader, I Dont Lie +, writes (15 August 2007):
 You talk about giving her space to breathe, which is all good and well, but what you fail to realise is that you are actually giving the both of you space to breathe, yes, even yourself. You want to see her often, and probably so does she. But in doing that, you both jeopardise the very thing that helps keep two people together for a long time, the space that allows the both of you to miss each others presences.
Having said that, 2 to 4 times a week isnt all that bad at all, considering there's only 7 days in a week. But the good thing is, you already know that you need to back off, and by backing off, I dont mean caring less or loving less. It just means getting involved with doing your own thing and focusing more on yourself. You need to remind yourself that you both have lives of your own, and you have to allow the both of you to live that lives of yours and hers. If you wish for the relationship to last, then giving each other the space, which also means that you're not clingy (which is of course a huge turn off), can help keep the attraction and thrill in the relationship.
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A
female
reader, beautifultrustnlover +, writes (15 August 2007):
 well listen hun you need to give her space but at the same time go hang out with your boi or homies which ever and give her some room and be cool when you hang out if you show a girl too much it may turn her off like get on her nerves but also dont let her have all controll tell her when she calls even if you got to talk that youll call her back in a few if she says she might not be abled to talk tell her than youll catch her later then dont seem like your blowing her off but not like your waiting for her every next movement either so just chill wit it and kick back on alot of it and youll do find okay
well 1
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