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I always end up with a wrong partner, what am I doing wrong?

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 June 2008) 4 Answers - (Newest, 22 June 2008)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Way is it that everytime i think i found the right guy.I allways end up with the wrong one,the partner i have cheated on me so many times and i will like to know what am i doing wrong.

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A reader, I Dont Lie +, writes (22 June 2008):

I Dont Lie agony auntYou cannot be a 100% certain that someone is not going to cheat on you or hurt you in a relationship, so don't beat yourself over it. Unfortunately, there's nothing you can do but to chalk it down to experience if a relationship fails, or if your partner abuses your trust.

But what you can do is to weed out probable bad candidates before deciding to go deeper into the relationship. If you are deliberately trying to look for a potential partner, chances are, you will settle for second best, or even third best if at all. You don't want to send out desperate signals, which can lead to men taking advantage of you, which of course leads to you being hurt, etc. Also, the dating period should be as long as possible before taking the leap to ensure you get the opportunities to set apart the red flags. Don't rush into anything. A lot of women do not read the red flags well, and ultimately end up with an abusive partner, or even a cheating partner.

The type of guys you're attracted to also plays a pivotal role in how you want your future relationship to be. If you're into bad boys, then be prepared to handle the POSSIBILITY of being played. Or if your main criteria for a potential boyfriend are looks, then be prepared that he MIGHT get a lot of attention from other women who might do anything to get him for their own.

Relationships are almost like trial and error things. Some people get lucky first time, most don't. There's no such thing as doing the wrong thing or right thing so dont be too hard on yourself.

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A female reader, supermum United Kingdom +, writes (21 June 2008):

supermum agony aunti have had a load of really horrible relationships. it is important for you to know that IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. get out of this relatoinship as soon as you can and try to find someone who really cares for you. you may find a few more wronguns, but try to respect yourself, then others will.

all the best.

if you need advice on getting out of the relationship, email me with more details.

i hope it goes ok for you.

xxxxxxxxxxx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2008):

Stop allowing guys like him to abuse you; stop accepting losers and cheaters;

work on your self esteem; you are the best and deserve the best; if a guy cheated; kick him out; you don;t accept that; you are better, desrve better;

Don't accept this kind of behaviour or treatment; not even for the name of "love"; as love is not enough in a relationship;

think about respect; a cheater does not respect you; otherwise he wont do that to you; but then, if you allow to get away with it, where is your self respect?

If you dont have enough self esteem and self confidence and selfrespect; why will the guy treat you different?

Sorry I know this sound very harsh;

BUT

You have to start taking care of you; start loving you; start respecting you; and demand respect, by not tolerating bad behavoier towards yourself;

Have a good look in the mirror, really start loving yourself; do some introspection; you have to make the desicion to stop the abusive behaviour towards yourself.

Start thinking of YOU first; what you want and what makes you happy.

Kick this guy out of your life; DIND YOURSELF; and believe me out there is somebody who will love you and treat you with respect.

Be strong, take good care; best of luck!

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A female reader, pepper27 United Kingdom +, writes (21 June 2008):

pepper27 agony auntHi Hunny

You are doing nothing wrong, They are! dont go back to a cheat if he has done it once he will do it again and if you go back over and over again your giving him the all clear that its ok...You will find someone one day hunny that will treat you with the respect you deserve..Just have faith in yourself and think possitive love, I no it isnt always easy you just havent met the right one yet..TAKE CARE WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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