A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My marriage has quickly become angry and bitter over my husbands job 'opportunity'. He works for a finance company who wants to set up offices in Australia (either Sydney or Melbourne they are not sure which at the moment) and they have asked him to manage the set up. Its an opportunity in the sense that he is not forced to do this but he is really keen and thinks we can have a great time. We have no children its just us two and our pet dog but I know it will be for the long haul because the set up and running to get things really established can take at least 3 -5 years. My hunch is that he will want to stay.I briefly visited both places about 10 years ago whilst backpacking and they seemed fun but that was not through the eyes of someone living there. We have very limited time now to make the decision and with my husband being so keen it will make no difference if we take a 2 week break there because it will just re-enforce his view. I don't think my feelings count at the moment for much. I feel steam rollered. I have been on the internet and looked at practical things like housing but it all seems pretty expensive to live near or in those cities and I thought it was supposed to be affordable - we will get help with relocation but would still have to pay monthly. They do look attractive places but I had always imagined we'd live in the countryside in the UK and hoped to have children within the next 5 years - again being near family and friends. I have said all this but he is now like a child with a new toy and I feel like I'm dampening his enthusiasm. My parents are also 10 years older than his and i think I am taking away the possible joy for them of being grandparents. We are now arguing over petty things all the time and old bigger argument issues are surfacing - quite bitter things that I thought we'd dealt with. He has put England down for a long time - cost, congestion etc and now every single little thing is "not as good as in Australia" I can't listen to it anymore. It seems to be tearing us apart. Although I read a lot of good things about Australia but is the reality in comparison to the UK really that good? One thing I did notice is that flights from Australia (booked in Oz) back to the UK (or anywhere in fact other than Asia) seem to be so expensive. It is also a long where from anywhere and I wanted to see more of the world before we settled down to have children. I'm worried out dog will not make the journey and I think why the sudden pressure - just as we had got everything settled here. I feel like all my hopes and dreams are now going out the window for this 'opportunity' and my husband has really made the decision in his head to go already. I even think living in the USA would be better as it is closer and flights much cheaper. Does anyone have experience of moving out to either Sydney or Melbourne? The practical comparisons (warts and all) of doing this and how it stacked up versus being in England? I need some really honest viewpoints - any help much appreciated.
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female
reader, MissWendlemoot  +, writes (6 June 2008):
 I moved here from the US and it is 100 times better. My life has changed for the better.
I say give it a chance.
A
reader, I Dont Lie +, writes (6 June 2008):
 I am an Australian working in the UK, so understand what you're going through. Having said that, I am not married so do not have the sort of burden and responsibility you have right now. But what I can do is to tell you a little bit about my experiences in both the countries and what to expect of them. The rest is up to you.
Im from Australia (melbourne) so may be partial to enjoying the Aussie lifestyle. We like to enjoy and soak up the sun, so expect more outdoor activities and socialising. Expect a more laid back attitude towards everything in Australia. And no, things/properties here arent as cheap as they make out to be most of the time, it all depends on the places you choose to live in.
England on the other hand is a faster paced place to live in. You generally work longer hours over here. Weather is not great, although it has a lot to do with the fact that weather here fluctuates. Shops also tend to shut earlier in England. The english pay one of the highest tax on wages in the world, certainly higher than in australia. However, the british pounds holds is value better than the dollars.
But to be honest, both countries arent very different at all. As far as job hunting goes, I reckon it wouldnt be too difficult to get a proper job if you have the right qualifications for the right job. Also, there are a lot similarities foodwise. Education systems are both just as good in my opinion.
However, I agree with you that flight prices are a bit steep, not to mention the time it takes you to get from the UK to australia or vice versa. What I tend to do is to try to go back every once a year, during May-ish, which is the non peak season, so prices are relatively cheaper. Obviously it will be different in your case as you might have children. As for you dog, you should have no problems bringing it over, but you do need to sort out its health documents. I advice you to ring up the australian embassy/immigration to ask for required paperwork.
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A
male
reader, oldfool +, writes (6 June 2008):
 I agree with Aunt Audrey. This has come up so quickly, and you are considering a decision that will totally upset your original ideas of what your life was going to be like.
I realise that Australia has a reputation of being a "lifestyle place" and is usually considered a pleasant place to live, but that has to be weighed up against other things -- moving away from friends, familiar places, etc., with only limited (and expensive opportunities) to come back.
I guess a decision will also depend on how "adventurous" you are in life. Some people would jump at the opportunity in a spirit of adventure; others, like you, would be much more cautious about uprooting themselves to an entirely new country.
I do think you should check about the dog. It could be a difficulty as Australia has strict quarantine laws.
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A
female
reader, Aunt Audrey +, writes (6 June 2008):
 This should be a mutual decision and you should not be pressurized, you will both have to weigh up the pro's and con's before a final decision is made which means you will need to discuss your fears and reasons for not wanting to go, maybe he can put your mind at rest in some way. It's a long way to go and I can understand why you have some doubts, it's not what you had planned for your future....
Why don't you compromise, and say you'll give it a certain amount of time and if it you can't settle in Australia tell him you intend to return.
If you do go you will have to make a real effort or he will see any concerns you have as an excuse for returning to the U.K.
You are not planning to have children right now so you have time on your side. Who knows you may find that you settle and really like living out there, or he may decide that the Australian lifestyle is not for him. You will never know if you don't try, and could find your husband resenting you if you dig your heels in and will not go, he may be left feeling that you have both missed a good opportunity in life.
This should be a mutual decision and you should not be pressurized, hopefully you will be able to reach an amicable agreement that suits you both.
Good luck.
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