A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Earlier tonight I asked my husband to see his phone to hear a voicemail his brother had left. It seemed like he was going through some things and pressing a lot of buttons before handing me his phone. I am a paranoid person and I think I suffer from anxiety. When this happened alarm bells went off in my head. I was wondering why it took so long to hand the phone over, plus he was driving, couldn't he have just handed me the phone to get to the voicemail myself? We have the same exact phone so it isn't like I would've had trouble finding it. I asked why it took so long and he said he was pressing the wrong thing. But the thing is I saw where his fingers were hitting (lower screen) I just couldn't see the screen itself. Which is the delete button. I am terrified he deleted something he didn't want me to see. Then later I was going through his phone and came across some numbers I didn't recognize, ones he had answered that were in his history but no name attached. When we looked them up nothing came up. So I called one of them and a man answered so I hung up. I didn't call the other because I didn't see the point. My husband just says he doesn't remember who they were or what it could be. But one call was answered twice. How do you answer and speak with someone twice yet don't remember who they were at all...? My mind is going in overdrive now which I know is my paranoia. I am worried he has been getting the people to call but they are short calls until he can call back from a secure number that I wouldn't find out about, the house number for instance. Plus they happened to be times I am at work. He never answers random calls when I am home. I never answer calls from numbers I don't know, I didn't think he did either. Plus his phone is always on silent, he misses my calls almost every time and has to call back, yet he catches these calls? While working at the same time? I don't know. I don't feel right. Asking him too many questions just gets him mad but I don't know what to do at this point. I can't get the thoughts out of my head of what all of it could be and my paranoia is making me build it bigger and bigger.How does a normal person work? Like if you see your husband or boyfriend or girlfriend's phone and numbers you don't recognize? Do you just let it go and tell yourself it was a random number? Do you not even think about it? I alread figure a non paranoid mind won't think up cheating scenarios, but I am curious how they get past something like this. And the time it took to show me something on a voicemail, would you not even notice this? I don't know how to get over it right now. Do I try to convince myself it was nothing? I'm terrified of being the fool who has been cheated on and going to work unaware of what her husband is doing. Plus he is very smart. He could easily get away with whatever he wants unlike my dumb exes. HelpPs he has never given me a reason to think he would cheat, he has been honest and only lied to me once that I know of about something kind of dumb. Although with that lie I had to catch him in it, he didn't fess up and tell me. He works from home if that matters. And these calls came in when he was home working and I was gone.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'll answer each of you. Eyespy- they are not work calls because we have a landline that calls are routed through. And even then it all goes through his work computer, he isn't manually answering calls.
Pinktopaz- I did look up othello syndrome. I saw some similarities except I am rarely like this and I am not delusional. If given proof otherwise I believe the proof. I also do not try to find ways he is cheating on me, I become paranoid if something is a little off. Which rarely happens. I think the fear is far more of being lied to and not knowing what's going on. Also everything I had was a brain issue and the people not even realizing they are acting this way. I am very aware of my paranoia. So I still feel it is anxiety in some form. But either way your post helped me to realize its in my head and not something to really worry about.
And anonymous- we probably can go through the records and see if that shows anything. It's nice to hear someone that thinks similar to me, doesn't happen often. But I do apologize for it because I don't believe he would actually cheat, it's just my mind coming up with scenarios of what it "could be" which can really get out there sometimes. Cheating happens to be the only one I mentioned because it makes the most sense. I like to have proof that my paranoia is just that, paranoia. I'd love to know everything and certainly try to.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2012): You are like me. I am very over analytical and have to think every possible scenerio through. I drive my ownself crazy with suspicisions. I have a need to know "everything." I don't make any apologies for who I am either. That is just the way I am.That being said, can you get access to the phone records? That will tell you how many calls are coming through and what numbers he is calling back.You can do a reverse phone number look up and have it traced but to find out who the owner is of the landline or the cell number that called in you would have to pay for that information.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (15 September 2012):
I think you're being paranoid...Google Othello syndrome and get some help if you're always like this. Seriously.
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A
female
reader, Eyespy17 +, writes (15 September 2012):
Couldn't they be work related calls?
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