A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I'm wondering how or where a 47 year old women can find suitable men to date? I've been alone for over 16 years - no dates, no sex, no prospects. When my children were younger, I used to go to the "weekend daddy" places -Chucky Cheese, the zoo - spots where divorced dads took there kids. I met lots of men - but quickly learned they enjoyed being weekend fathers, and weren't interested in a woman with fulltime kids. Flash-forward 16 years, the kids are grown up (mostly, I have a 17 yro) and I'm still alone. Men my age are either married, or only interested in much younger women. I'm not a model - but I'm not hideous either. Plenty of male friends over the years have told me I'm smart and funny - and my favorite thing: "I wish I could meet a woman just like you"... but not me exactly... me, 15 years younger, and 50 lbs lighter! I'm social and friendly, but I just don't know where to go.... (and yes, I've tried the: hardware store, farmers market, work, book club, wine club, dog park, friends, and a singles club). Am I simply destined to be alone?
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female
reader, StyleAdvice  +, writes (17 February 2014):
Through the words you are using I feel that you are not valuing yourself enough as an attractive lady. You seem to be outgoing and ready to mix with people, but not having enough self confidence may be a let down. Self confidence in being an attractive woman is the one major characteristic every man seems to adore in a woman.Regarding your age I believe that to be irrelevant. There is somebody out there for every one...have you tried dating sites or dating services?
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (10 February 2014):
 GAMING! do you like board games?
can you tolerate SMART GEEKY guys? Are you willing to try for a used fixer upper?
Try a board gaming con (if you PM me your location I can find local clubs for you)
I met my husband playing board games. There is a huge con the first week of August every year in PA... that's where we met.... My other friend also met her husband gaming...
the problem with gamers is that LOTS of the guys are lacking strongly in GOOD social skills... you have to work with them... I often refer to a big gaming con as a meeting of the Asperger's Association...
check out:
http://www.boardgamers.org/
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (10 February 2014):
 I have four really good male friends, three of them single
One (old school friend) is in a relationship with a much younger woman and he is really unhappy because she won't have sex with him now he is older and fatter. He's living abroad and really wants to come back to the UK, he just doesn't think she will come back with him...so he moans a lot about his situation :-S
Another friend (younger than me)lives in my town but works abroad and is only home for a few weeks a year. We keep touch by text phone and skype and have dinner when he's back in town (known him 6 years) He is an eternal batchelor but I like his company.
Another friend I have known for 2 years, lives nearby and also younger than me. We have great discussions about politics and other stuff, enjoy a hug once in a while and go out for a drink/dinner every now and then on a weekend. He has a little daughter and is totally invested in her because he lives apart from her, so he doesn't want a relationship because he said some women make it a competition between them and the kids.
My last male friend is a player in every sense of the word. He's a nice guy and I had sexual relations with him over a long period of time (7 years). He always told me he never wanted a relationship but I realised after the 7 years, he meant 'with me'. I discovered he'd played the field quite a behind my back. I'd cut the contact and he'd always come back. I let him back because I loved him...but finally I let him go and despite his desperate efforts to get back in touch, I have maintained no contact for almost 6 months now...and I am happier now I have let him go.
The others all provide me with companionship/ movie/ dinner partner, nobody is shagging me and they all know I have other friends. I am nearly 50 years old and I like things this way. Rarely a week goes by that I don't speak to one of them (apart from the last one)
I used to use dating sites a long time ago, but don't use them now. The point I am making, knowing the blokes I know is that they are very wrapped up in their lives and being one on one with someone just doesn't seem important.
The one whose in a relationship but unhappy says when he is free he will never want to be in another relationship again and I can identify with that...I guess a lot of men just simply want to keep their freedom and just having female friends seems the way to go.
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A
male
reader, MikeEa1  +, writes (10 February 2014):
 This is really a problem. I am a single man and I like being social and when I go out on social events there are nearly all women. I feel overwhelmed and don't get involved. I constantly wonder where are all the men? Some of the women on these events are married and say their husbands didn't want to go.This is not about you and your attractiveness this is about the differences between men and women.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2014): Why don't you try meetup.com? Its a site where people of all ages and backgrounds form groups based on common interests. These include tennis, sports, travel, art, food, even meetups for people who simply want to make friends. And of course they have dating meetups in all age groups. I'm signed up for it but I have yet to go on one because I have been so busy. But I have friends who use meetup and they love it. One of my friends was new in town and went on a meetup with a bunch of people to the movies. He said it was really fun. My other friend regularly goes on meetup for a group that gets together to discuss information technology. Try it. And of course, you could always try a dating site or a private dating service (matchmakers). I have friends who've met the perfect match via both (sites and matchmaking). Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Eyespy17 +, writes (10 February 2014):
How about a dating site directed for marriage ? Christian Mingle or e harmony?
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A
female
reader, Keeley345 +, writes (10 February 2014):
There is never a right place to meet someone...at any age. You could meet someone standing in line at the bank or in a shop. Some people have met in strange and unusual places...lol Opportunity is key. But lets try the obvious and most common places first. The internet is a great place to start. I've done internet dating myself and had luck. As I like older men, I've messaged a few online but they've turned me down because I'm too young. So you see, not all older men or men your age like younger women. If what you're trying in order to meet someone is not working, expand your search more. Maybe join clubs that are out of town. Or a gym somewhere else e.g change the gym you're at now (that is if you're at a gym). Go on weekends away with your friends and go to restaurants and nightclubs when you're there. While you're enjoying a short holiday/break, you may meet someone. Basically step up your game. Also looks are important when dating at any age. Buy some new outfits and change your hairstyle or make up. Reinvent yourself. Go to the gym or do some moderate exercise to get the figure you may want. A makeover so to speak, can work wonders. But what comes from inside is important too. So be as loving, cheerful and thoughtful as you can. No one can resist a pleasant person.
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